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What if my pessimism is realism?

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Lemonandpink · 01/11/2022 12:20

At 51 having just lost my dear dad, I’m reflecting a lot on my life and future. I’ve always had a fairly well paid job but never set the world on fire in my various roles, an expert in nothing. I think that’s ok though? I’m aware I’m well liked and people say my presence lifts them, both friends and colleagues. So there’s that. I feel I need to move into a new job but having worked in essentially one business in different roles all my life, I’m terrified. I feel that people think I’m more competent than I am, and I’d never want to bite off more than I could chew and be found lacking. The one time I did move jobs, I didn’t succeed and in honesty that was part due to being a little exposed knowledge wise but also the people I worked for had some very strange practices. So I returned to my former company.

I feel I’ve been a relative success professionally with the company I’ve worked for because people have liked me (so I came with credit as each new owner /exec came and went) not because I’m particularly skilled. My personality and life experience does bring benefit to my current role but I’ve no idea if that would translate to a new role where no one knows me. A lot of people tell me I’d be a success in numerous other roles similar to the one I have, but it’s just not true. Perhaps I manifest more confidence than I have. I’ve encountered a number of professionals throughout my career who were incompetent but highly confident so they flew for a while until they crashed. I’ve never flown, but never crashed, aside from the blip when I went to a different company.

I’m not really sure of the point of my post, I feel like there’s alot mixed up in it! I guess I’m looking for validation that it’s ok to be average (and accept you are) but liked. I’ve been a good mother I think and have a happy relationship with my partner.

That’s enough, isn’t it?

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