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Original poster

Has anyone noticed an increase in envy, sniping and snideness among friends?

22 replies

Tabbouleh · 31/10/2022 16:52

Just that really. I am not sure I want to go into detail. But everybody appears to be in a competition over who has it hardest..I don't want to be in that competition.

OP posts:
Endlesssummer392 · 31/10/2022 16:55

Not that so much but ghosting is rife. Life long friends just drop off the face of the earth with no explanation. Its weird.

MovingOnUpp · 31/10/2022 16:58

I’ve noticed the opposite as price rises is something we are all experiencing it’s like a bonding subject to talk about.

Original poster
Tabbouleh · 31/10/2022 17:03

MovingOnUpp · 31/10/2022 16:58

I’ve noticed the opposite as price rises is something we are all experiencing it’s like a bonding subject to talk about.

I am either better off than some of my friends, or they think I am. They don't know that I have some rather large medical expenses.

Ghosting I have got used to. Sniping hurts my feelings. Comments like " You say you are having a hard time? Well I am having a harder one so there! ". Not those exact words but you know what I mean.

OP posts:
MovingOnUpp · 31/10/2022 17:05

You say you are having a hard time? Well I am having a harder one so there! ". Not those exact words but you know what I mean
sorry to hear that, that sounds tough on you. It nice to think friends have a bit of empathy for each other.

Original poster
Tabbouleh · 31/10/2022 17:07

We are a group of friends who keep in touch by WA as we are all scattered. Wondering if WA tone is the culprit. I think people are more empathetic IRL. But no one wants to meet IRL any more.

OP posts:
MovingOnUpp · 31/10/2022 17:09

Could you phone any of them, me and my friend do a once a month phone call for an hour with a cuppa? It’s much better than messaging back and forth.

OneRingToRuleThemAll · 31/10/2022 17:10

People are going through an unimaginably difficult time right now and it's scary. It's not unusual for people to lash out when they are scared.

BlueBar · 31/10/2022 17:10

Not so much among friends but at work people who've previously been fairly happily rubbing along together are being vile to each other, where there is perceived inequality.

Original poster
Tabbouleh · 31/10/2022 17:13

OneRingToRuleThemAll · 31/10/2022 17:10

People are going through an unimaginably difficult time right now and it's scary. It's not unusual for people to lash out when they are scared.

You are right, of course. I just think that it is unwise to presume that some one else is doing great just because they are not baring their heart on social media.

OP posts:
Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 31/10/2022 17:19

No, but my best friend has genuinely had the worst year ever and no one else’s even comes close. We’ve just been trying to be there for her as best we can.

Original poster
Tabbouleh · 31/10/2022 17:35

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 31/10/2022 17:19

No, but my best friend has genuinely had the worst year ever and no one else’s even comes close. We’ve just been trying to be there for her as best we can.

See that slightly smacks of competition to me. Sort of like no one can complain unless they are on the streets.

OP posts:
balalake · 31/10/2022 17:35

No, not even quoting the four Yorkshireman sketch as a joke.

Elodie09 · 31/10/2022 17:40

I think so, people are generally less empathetic and are in shock since the covid years .
Difficult times but I try and stay positive and make it count when I do see real people. It is not pleasant to talk with grumbling , negative people all the time.
I have people like this in my family.

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 31/10/2022 17:41

Tabbouleh · 31/10/2022 17:35

See that slightly smacks of competition to me. Sort of like no one can complain unless they are on the streets.

Show quote history

No, it’s not like that. We still will go on another our day to day moans, she’s not the sort of person to not want anyone else to moan as her problems are worse.

but the year she’s had puts things in perspective. There's no race to the bottom here, just friends being supportive of each other.

it’s a bit sad that that is your first thought.

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 31/10/2022 17:42

Sorry that should be go on to one another about our day to day moans.

Original poster
Tabbouleh · 31/10/2022 17:45

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 31/10/2022 17:41

No, it’s not like that. We still will go on another our day to day moans, she’s not the sort of person to not want anyone else to moan as her problems are worse.

but the year she’s had puts things in perspective. There's no race to the bottom here, just friends being supportive of each other.

it’s a bit sad that that is your first thought.

Show quote history

It's my first thought because that is what the thread is about really. A sort of oneupmanship in suffering. Feeling like if I open my mouth to say " Gosh life is expensive" someone else will say " But you only have 2 DC/ you are not a single mum/ you have your own house" etc etc.

Not sure if I am making it clear.

OP posts:
Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 31/10/2022 17:46

Tabbouleh · 31/10/2022 17:45

It's my first thought because that is what the thread is about really. A sort of oneupmanship in suffering. Feeling like if I open my mouth to say " Gosh life is expensive" someone else will say " But you only have 2 DC/ you are not a single mum/ you have your own house" etc etc.

Not sure if I am making it clear.

Show quote history

Maybe you need some different friends? 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
Tabbouleh · 31/10/2022 17:53

Definitely. I am trying.

Another friend went a bit odd last year but now she is back to normal after getting a better job. So hoping things improve for everyone by 2023 though I don't think they will.

OP posts:
SilverGlitterBaubles · 31/10/2022 17:56

I agree OP, I think it is the last few years of a vile government, incredibly difficult periods and different experiences of Covid and lockdowns, now war in Ukraine, rising costs of living, 24/7 news and social media. It is just endless bad news and general nastiness and people are not coping well.

MovingOnUpp · 31/10/2022 18:39

It could be because your aren’t meeting up in person, so you aren’t getting any fun time together.

ItsFineImFine · 31/10/2022 18:49

Did I write this post? I could not agree more. It’s in our friendship circle but also I see it at work.

HerRoyalNotness · 31/10/2022 18:56

I had one go the opposite way. We’ve seen each other every week for a couple of years then she cooled off after I had an accident. In the last 2yrs saw her about 6 times. Our Dc are besties too or were. The past couple of times I’ve seen her she’s been very smug and talking about how VERY expensive things thus have are. She knows we haven’t had spare cash for vacations and worried about paying for repairs etc. It’s weird. Haven’t seen her since July now. It’s just all uncomfortable but I feel sorry for DC to miss their friend

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