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Original poster

Don’t want to get back into the car after this

44 replies

PeachMelbaSnail · 31/10/2022 14:02

Name change because I’m mortified. Don’t know what I’m hoping for with this post, I just want to get it off my chest.

For some backstory, I’ve been driving for years now, have never been in an accident or even near-miss and like to think I’m a sensible driver. This morning I had a horrible experience whilst in the car. I was waiting to pull out of a junction and clearly misjudged the speed of a car coming down the road; I thought I had time to pull out but the car coming had to break. In hindsight they didn’t seem all that close to me (I’m not justifying my mistake) but they had to break nonetheless. Upon realising my mistake, I put my hand up and mouthed ‘sorry’ and I could see they were shouting at me from inside their vehicle. They proceeded to slam their hand on their horn repeatedly. As in, not once or twice but over and over again.

At this point I chose to not take my usual route home and instead go somewhere I could pull over and calm down but I noticed that said car was still behind me. Feeling nervous, I changed destination again but it became obvious that they were following me. Shortly afterwards I had to stop at the traffic lights, and the next thing I know the driver of the car had wrenched open my drivers side door and was hurling obscenities at me. I was in so much shock at was one going on, I repeated that I was sorry and that I had misjudged the distance but she wasn’t having any of it - literally screaming in my face that I could have killed her and calling me a fing b*. I asked her several times to let go of my car door (the lights had gone green by this point) and leave and even told her that I was heavily pregnant but she replied she didn’t care and kept on shouting. Eventually I pulled the door out of her grasp (like I said very pregnant and had a seatbelt on), closed it and drove off.

Ever since then I’ve been really upset at the whole situation. I feel like an awful driver for my misjudgment and honestly just petrified of someone opening my door again, especially as my toddler could very well have been in the car with me. :(

OP posts:

Blocked · 31/10/2022 14:07

You didn't deserve that OP - did you ring the police?

Ilkleymoor · 31/10/2022 14:10

You made a driving mistake. Her reaction was not reasonable at all. Her behaviour was appalling and dangerous. Report it to the police.

Awful for you but not something that should stop your driving. I would suggest always driving with locked doors though.

Sistanotcista · 31/10/2022 14:10

You made a mistake, she got a huge fright, and completely over-reacted. We all make mistakes on the road, OP, and as this is clearly the first time you've done this, you're not a bad driver. Get back on the road, be a little more cautious, and keep your doors locked when driving :)

waterlego · 31/10/2022 14:10

I expect most of us have made a similar mistake at some point- I know I have. But you absolutely didn’t deserve that. Most normal people would just roll their eyes, perhaps mutter FFS to themselves and then just get on with their day. You made a mistake. She was aggressive and completely unreasonable. Be kind to yourself, the memory will fade in time. 💐

Dartmoorcheffy · 31/10/2022 14:12

I hope you got her registration. If it was at traffic lights there's a good chance it will be on cctv. Her behaviour is absolutely not acceptable. You need to contact the police.

HauntedCabinet · 31/10/2022 14:15

She was a c*nt. No one decent behaves like that and whilst it is awful to have spent a few minutes with such a creature, just remember, the poor cow has to live with herself 24/7

On a more serious note:

a) getting back in the car (with a trusted passenger maybe, for confidence) is important. You need new, normal driving experiences to be more recent in your memory than this anomaly.

b) look into your car settings for having your doors auto lock at junctions; for all sorts of reasons, it's sensible. No one should be able to open your car door while you are sat waiting for lights to change.

Patty101 · 31/10/2022 14:21

What a horrible experience for you. Yes, you made a mistake, but you acknowledged it at the time and no harm was done.

This woman's behaviour was absolutely disgusting, and she is the one who should be worrying about whether to get back in her car or not as she clearly has massive anger issues. In my opinion, somebody who can't control their temper like that should not be behind the wheel.

While it's still very fresh in your mind it's understandable that this has given your confidence a wobble, but give it a little bit of time, read some of these reassuring messages and you'll be back in your car before you know it. And rightly so.

user1496146479 · 31/10/2022 14:22

You made a mistake, you apologised, she deliberately followed you, and verbally assaulted you!
She was totally out of order!
As an aside I always drive with my car doors locked!
Report it to Police and be kind to yourself.

falllakes · 31/10/2022 14:23

First set up auto lock on your car. Then no one can open your car doors.

This woman was totally out of order, her behavior was much worse than your mistake.

Then take little drives, put something relaxing on the radio and if you feel anxious remind yourself that it was a small mistake and nothing more
( deranged woman may have been speeding if you had less time than you expected)

DoodlePug · 31/10/2022 14:26

This is very much about her not you.

Do call the police before she causes an accident through her anger. There are probably cameras on the lights.

I'm sorry you're worried about driving, you've been driving for tears without incident. It really isn't you. Don't let that woman Rob you of independence

Mischance · 31/10/2022 14:28

What a truly dreadful woman. Do not let this get to you too much.

Mavisisnotmyname · 31/10/2022 14:29

What a nasty experience, I had a similar thing happened a long time ago, driving home late at night and pulled out in front of a motorbike in a built up area, I just misjudged the distance completely and he must have been speeding. He followed me home and scared me witless. Sat outside shouting and swearing at me. I was about to ring the police but he drove off. It really frightened me and I always lock my doors now. It will fade from your mind.

PositiveLife · 31/10/2022 14:34

I had a similar experience years ago. Busy car park with gridlocked traffic trying to exit. A car with music playing loudly - I assumed they were just passing time waiting for the traffic to clear, she thought I should be psychic and know she was trying to reverse out. I ended up in the line of traffic waiting to exit directly behind her car. Her passenger jumped out, whacked the back window of my car, spat through my driver side window. Called the police but she'd gone before they turned up (ironically the car park was next door to the police station). I was so, so glad the police officer let me follow his car home to take my statement because I was shook up.

Definitely get back out there. It will be ok.

Fwiw, I have dashcams and they record sound so if anyone does this it's all caught on my dash cam for the police now.

ReformedWaywardTeen · 31/10/2022 14:39

Not your fault OP, DH was turning out of a corner a few weeks back and the car coming towards us suddenly sped up, it's lucky we have good brakes.

She was verbally abusive and chasing you deliberately. I would definitely call the police and log it as road rage is dealt with very strongly. Especially with you being heavily pregnant and her continuing to wrench your door open to threaten you.

I hope you got the numberplate and/or description. She needs a stern word from the police on behaviour.

Oblomov22 · 31/10/2022 14:40

Blimey. Poor you. He'd over reaction was frightening.

SaveMeFromMyBoobs · 31/10/2022 14:41

Some people are just arseholes OP. A couple of years ago I was at a petrol station and as I was leaving the kiosk a car pulled up behind mine with a couple in it. No sooner had I closer my door and they were on their horn, revving the engine, and rolling towards the back of my car. I hadn't even been in the car 10 seconds!

My husband was in the passenger seat and we just decided to sit until they stop being knobheads. The man got out to come have a go at me but backed off when he realised I wasnt alone. No one in the kiosk did anything depsite the scene being caused.

BankseyVest · 31/10/2022 14:42

Did you get the registration of the car? If so phone the police. Regardless of what you did. You did not deserve that reaction. A similar thing happened to a friend of mine and she reported it to the police, they took it pretty serious and paid the other driver a visit. My friend was also the one who was in the wrong regarding the incident that kicked it all off, but the police were not interested in that, only the other driver who got out the car and started yelling at my friend

jannier · 31/10/2022 14:43

Why am I wondering if it was her speeding in the first place 🤔?
Report her road rage to the police.
Get someone to come with you in the car today and get your confidence by back.

Bourbanbiscuit · 31/10/2022 14:43

Almost the exact thing happened to me. Followed me and shouted abuse, it was a man, he didnt open the door tho. You've just got to get back out there. Big hug, deep breath and go for it. You will get over it xx

GoodnightGentleBoris · 31/10/2022 14:44

She was a total knob and her reaction disproportionate

tealandteal · 31/10/2022 14:47

This kind of thing can really shake you up. Practical steps to make you feel better- look up how to get your doors to lock automatically. Mine lock within 30 seconds or so of setting off and then don’t unlock until I turn the car off or flip the switch to unlock them. My mum gets confused trying to get out of the car every time time.

Consider reporting this woman as although you made a slight error in judgment, she only had to brake a little. What she did was not a reasonable response to that.

Geekydeaky · 31/10/2022 14:48

We've all made similar mistakes whilst driving and the chances are she was speeding anyway.
She managed to stop and everyone was okay so her reaction is insane, she sounds unhinged. If someone does something dangerous whilst I'm driving I just shake my head like a disappointed mum! If someone apologised I'd let it go immediately, the fact that she chased you down, saw you were pregnant and carried on shows she was just looking for a fight. Let it go and try to put it to the back of your mind.

JauntyJinty · 31/10/2022 14:52

I've had similar too - I was on a main road with a slip road joining. I let a car out and the van behind them pulled up beside me with a guy staring at me really angrily and rolling his window down.

I rolled my window down (probably a mistake!) and he didn't say anything so in the end I said "I let that car out"

And he shouted "YEAH!!" really angrily

I said, "everyone lets 1 car out"

And he shouted "YEAH!!" really angrily again

Confused I continued forward and he pulled in really close and aggressively behind me - I quickly changed lanes to try to get ahead but both lanes were crawling and he was quite soon along side me and then pulled over and got out and started shouting from the pavement!

I gave a confused look and then made a pointed look at the sign writing on the van at which point he stopped shouting!
(That might reads like I was quite calm and controlled but I was actually in full panic mode and immediately forgot what the sign writing said)

By the time he was back in the van he was a fair few cars back and luckily it was quite distinctive due to stuff on the roof rack. He kept changing lane but I kept changing to be in the same lane as him to stay ahead until I could turn off.

Some people are just dicks but I’ve literally done this drive 1000s of times without issue so it’s thankfully rare! There was awful traffic all around and my best guess is that someone had pissed him off at the roundabout before he joined the slip road and he decided to take it out on me. Probably your person was having a bad day too you became their target. As others have said I now have a dashcam, and recommend one for a bit of piece of mind.

BruhWhy · 31/10/2022 14:53

She sounds vile. Did you get her reg?

I know you say you misjudged the distance but it's a possibility you judged it correctly and she may have been speeding.

That's happened to me before and the driver who had to brake for me leant on his horn too and it scared the shit out of me.

Obviously you should always try to judge someone's speed as well as distance when emerging from a junction, but mistakes do happen, and that's why you shouldn't speed thinking everyone else is a perfect driver 100% of the time and they'll make up for it.

Hope you feel better soon.

been and done it. · 31/10/2022 15:06

Honestly most of us over the years have had near misses, both our own and other people at fault. People misjudge situations and hopefully it makes them more careful next time I know it did me. She was annoyed and possibly rightly so but completely out of order doing what she did. If you got her number I would report the incident she's a disaster waiting to happen for someone.

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