I feel so so sad

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And hopeless. And I have felt this way for weeks.

I am off work and I have anti depressants but I just can’t seem to shake it. I just can’t see any purpose or point in life or any time when I won’t feel this low.

Please be nice to me. I just want a pick me up I guess.

Have you any friends or family that offer support? A partner?

Some medication takes awhile to properly work so if you haven’t been taking it long then you may still feel down for a time.

Can you stick to a routine of self care every day so that you wash/shower/bathe and get dressed and go out even for a short walk, especially if you can get to a park or place of nature such as woods or a beach.

Does writing your thoughts down help you?

Are you dwelling on the past?

Can you make plans so you have something nice to look forward to, doesn’t have to be expensive.

How long have you been on the antidepressants?

Duloxitine. Been on it for just over three weeks.

Ah then you're still in the stage where you get side effects but it hasn't started working yet. This is the worst part — it gets better soon (hopefully).

Also… I have a theory about this:

I just can’t see any purpose or point in life or any time when I won’t feel this low.

My theory is that it's actually impossible to imagine feelings and moods, at least, not in the way we might imagine a tune or an object.

Imagining a tune or an object does not conjure those sound vibrations or that physical object into existence.

But a feeling or a mood isn't a physical external thing that your brain only creates a representation of — it's an internal state, and by "imagining" that feeling or mood, what you're actually doing is not just imagining it, but producing that feeling or mood in yourself, to some extent or another. To imagine feeling sad, you create something of the feeling of sadness inside you.

So my theory is that in certain very strong mood or emotion states, it's actually impossible to "imagine" you will ever be able to feel different, because in order to do so you'd have to overwhelm a very strong existing mood or feeling with the one you're trying to create.

Depression is so powerful that it removes your ability to conceive of positive moods and feelings in the future, because it's impossible to create a version of them now.

But it's absolutely not true that you will never feel any different. It's just a cruel trick of depression.

That's my theory anyway — take it or leave it

Can you watch something that will make you cry at all?

I have been where you are but I did know the root of my depression so had therapy that was extensive, I was eventually diagnosed with complex PTSD amongst other things.

I think a lot of MH issues are suppressed feelings. When I see toddlers rolling around on the floor having meltdowns I envy how they can let them out so easily.

Give yourself one task a day, it may be minuscule and it may be something that people do every day and don’t think of as anything special but make the tiniest goal.

Do not drink alcohol at all, not even one glass.

My therapist used to get me to look at an object and try and focus on it and not think of anything else.

I’ve tried sertraline and citalopram in the past and they have not taken this long. Will it get better?

I woke my husband last night crying at 2am. I just cried for half an hour, I couldn’t even speak. I’m so sad.

I have a 15 month old who I love very much.

I'm not familiar with this so I googled it and it says:

How long does it take for duloxetine to work for anxiety?
It takes two to four weeks for duloxetine to start helping. It could take some weeks or months to get its full effect. Scientists believe that at first the higher levels of serotonin (and possibly noradrenaline) have direct effects which do not help relieve the depression or anxiety.

So if you've been taking it for three weeks, it might take a week or even two or three to 'kick in' yet. Hang in there OP, you'll be okay and you'll see a light at the end of the tunnel soon.

It can take 4–6 weeks for them to have an effect — if after that, you don't feel an effect, or not enough of an effect, they can usually either increase the dose or give you a different one to try.

If sertraline and citalopram worked for you before, is there a reason you've been given duloxetine this time?

I hope you start to feel better soon, it's awful to be feeling as bad as you do at the moment. But I promise you, despite the mind-tricks of depression, it is very possible to feel normal, even happy, again. I know it must feel like that can't actually apply to you (I've been there…) but it can.

Ah thanks Key for the more specific info. That sounds about right — 4–6 weeks is the usual number they quote for SSRIs and SNRIs in general, but each drug is a little different and each person reacts a little differently.

Oh OP I really feel for you. I was exactly where you were two years ago. It took a lot longer than I wanted to feel better. However eventually I did. Completely 100% better, which was completely inconceivable to me at the time.

Rest. Keep going with the meds. Take care of yourself, these things take time. I found the samaritans to be great when it all felt so bleak in the middle of the night, their number is 116 123

Those of you who have experienced this - is there anything you did that helped?

It's really boring and predictable but time, medication, therapy with a skilled therapist, and meaningful activity once capable of it. Basically the same stuff everyone says… sorry, that's not terribly helpful.

These dark mental states can be as scary as they are depressing but they do improve in time. I hope you have someone you feel able to share your worries with, it might take a bit of bravery to reach out. I know at times I've had to push myself to do so but it does help a great deal if you can talk with someone about it.
As well as this, I've found that whenever I get into a bad mental state what can help is trying new things. I know it can seem like something you don't want to do but changing your pattern of behaviour by doing something as simple as visiting a place you've never been (even locally) or trying a new activity no matter how small can change your mental state. Again the idea may be off putting at first but if you can give it a try it can help to break the cyclical nature of these issues sometimes.

I’m sorry you feel this way, I’ve been there a few times. I genuinely didn’t think I’d survive one time because I couldn’t cope with how dark I felt. But I did survive it and things are mich better now and I hope you’ll be able to say the same in the future

Have faith in the saying

This too shall pass

And it will, stop trying to fight against it, don't be so hard on yourself and allow yourself the time to get better, no rush, try to relax.

You are currently ill and need self care, how is your h helping ?

Forget about time and time limits.
No one can ever imagine feeling better when they are in the eye of the storm, but you will.

One step at a time, you are a very brave woman for posting and asking for help, this indicates to me how strong you are underneath, at the moment your mind needs a rest.
Everyone seems to understand physical pain in their own body and how they need to recuperate yet never seem to give their minds the same consideration.

When you feel a little stronger, like pp's have said a change in scenary can re set the mind, and also help build up your confidence, even if it's just something like a drive to the countryside.

Wishing you well

Is there someone yiu can.talk to? In the area I live yiu can refer yourself for counselling. Is that something that might be possible for you? It's a safe non-judgmental space where you can say anything. Perhaps there are underlying reasons why you are feeling like this? Take care

May be of no use to anyone else, but I do think eaying more dark greem leafy veg is a help to some people.

Thank you everyone for saying nice things.

today was a bit better after yesterday and Sunday being very very bad.

i will try the suggestions above - thank you.

despite suffering with depression for years, I think part of me has internalised the view that it doesn’t exist, as espoused by some people including family members. I feel guilty and like a fraud. But I really am not fit for work.