When you feel so low and realise you can’t call anyone

[JustMoved123]

That’s it really, I try to be a good friend and check in with people when they are going through tough times, I’ve listened and advised where I can. Now it’s me, I feel I can’t turn to anyone and nobody asks. We’re living overseas and it’s not gone to plan, DH has said he wants to kill himself as he’s failed in this venture. I’ve left my adult children and very old dog behind to follow his dream. I miss my kids and my old life but I don’t know how to get back, the money isn’t there. I’m so lonely

So sorry you're feeling this way. When there's so much feeling wrong, it's overwhelming. Can you maybe try and solve one thing at a time? Can you move back to your home country and live with one of your adult children for a bit, and start from there?

So sorry you're feeling this way. When there's so much feeling wrong, it's overwhelming. Can you maybe try and solve one thing at a time? Can you move back to your home country and live with one of your adult children for a bit, and start from there?

@Oddsocks55thank you so much for replying, I do feel overwhelmed. Sadly neither of our children have space for me. I’ll find a way but thank you, I wanted to call someone and just thought…who?! I don’t think DH
will really take his own life but it’s always on my mind now

Oh goodness, I feel for you. If you ever want to offload, please feel free to PM me - I've often felt the same way, despite having (distant) friends. It feels like I'd be burdening them, so I never let them know how I feel. Sometimes it's easier to talk to someone you aren't close to. Hope things improve for you.

It sounds incredibly stressful.

Could you talk to DH and work together to find a solution? There is always a solution, sometimes it's just hard to see or it's a step back from where you want to be.

Same here re feeling lonely and isolated. But maybe you need to try to tell someone how you feel? Though in my experience everybody is so wrapped up in their own lives/problems that they don't actually know how to deal with directness. I am feeling overwhelmed at the moment too. I wish I could give some sage advice, but I hear you. The post above about targeting one thing at a time is a good start. Could you persuade your husband to speak to a service about his anxiety?

Hi, thank you all taking the time to reply, I’m in Australia so different time zones, also adds to the isolation, nobody likes a winging pom! My husband won’t seek help and I don’t think he means to do anything but was offloading which is ok but kind of adds to my pressure.

I’ve slightly reached out at to a friend today and been to the gym which helped although I practically dragged myself there!
I really appreciate your replies and I’m sorry you feel the same, I’m more than happy to chat if it helps us all feel less lonely

Keep posting and reaching out for real life support as well. Things can and will get better. Well done on getting yourself to the gym!

Will your husband accept that his dream hasn't come true and it's time to rethink the future? Or is he still hoping that things will work out?

@PollyAmour I’m not sure if he’s accepted it yet, problem is we’re middle aged now and life feel very scary. There is a lot of money out here but seems not for us.

Middle aged isn't retirement age though - plenty of time to pick yourselves up and start afresh. Life is bloody scary, particularly overseas with limited funds, but it's not the end of the road for you, not yet.