Didn't know whether this should be on the cat or dog section, but I need advice about getting a dog when I have an unfriendly cat

[Dontknowwhattodoforthebest]

Didn't know what section to put this in (have also NC as I've spoken to other irl about this) so sorry if the section is wrong.

Its looking more and more like my dd is going to need a service dog. She has seizures and her condition is deteriorating. She literally goes nowhere, is with me 24/7 and is just so insular as she is embarrassed about her condition and the way the seizures present themselves (often they start like tourettes tics and this is what was initially diagnosed).

My son has a cat, she is 8, and she rules the roost here. She is pretty grumpy, very intolerant of any other animals, but we love her all the same, and she is absolutely the love of my sons life (he is also autistic, and she has helped him through a lot)

Obviously my dd and her health comes first. I cannot stress that enough, it's been a long and hard battle to get any type of support, and, although the service dog isn't something that will happen in the next few weeks, it's likely she will be offered one in the next year or so.

I'm sitting here in tears.

I don't know what to do.

Having a dog was never on the agenda for us at all. I was happy with my son having his cat, and this isn't something I foresaw happening at any point.

Can anyone please give me some advice on how I can have both the cat and the dog, is there anything I can do to prepare her, help her become a bit more tolerant? I am not an animal expert at all, and I'm not even sure what support the service animal team can provide as we aren't quite there yet.

It just feels like all too much and I don't want to devestate my son and rehome his beloved cat, so any advice will be hugely appreciated. I feel so stuck. TIA

I had a cat before we got the dogs and she hates all other animals.

She protested by moving out at first. She lived in the outhouse and refused to come indoors.

She didn’t run away completely. She’s not friendly with humans really either. Only us. She would come back to the outhouse for food and shelter and that was it.

Then we moved house and there was no outhouse for her to hide in. So we settled it as downstairs is dogs area and upstairs is cats. We have a stair gate across the stairs and she can control whether she wants contact with them now.

She tolerates it more than she used to but she would be happier without them.

Im sorry about your dd. I hope it all works out.

She sounds a lot like my cat, hates everyone and everything, and only ever loves us on her terms 🤣

Ds and dds rooms are right beside each other so I'm not sure I can keep them separate.

If she is anything like she is with the neighbours dog she will go for the dog if it gets too close, which would be really shit for the dog and stressful for the cat.

Its not like you get cat training like you do for dogs so I'm just at a loss how to do this the least stressful way for everyone involved.

I'm probably also fixating in this because it's something I can hopefully fix and solve because I can't do that for dds health.

Thank you, I appreciate the reply, its given me some hope that the cat might just be a little more moody instead of full of attack mode.

I'd imagine the dog will learn to leave the cat alone. Especially a calm, well trained service dog. They will likely be trained to ignore other animals anyway

A well trained support dog will be trained to leave cats etc alone so shouldn’t be an issue

The dog will definitely leave the cat alone, it's the cats behaviour I'm worried about.I'm worried they will come to assess the house and decide dd is unsuitable for a service animal because the cat is pretty grumpy and intolerant.I'm not totally sure how it all works, I'm just trying to be prepared and help the cat prepare for sharing her territory.

I agree that a support dog will be better trained than a common house dog so won’t go near the cat.

Doesn’t stop the cat going near the dog though.

I would definitely look at getting some baby gates though. One on your daughters bedroom door, and one on the stairs.

That way, when your daughter is downstairs with the dog, cat has free roam of upstairs.

At night, or when your daughter is in her room, the cat has the house.

I honestly doubt the cat will deliberately put its self in the dogs space either. Far more likely to just keep out its way and look on with disgust from a distance. The idea of stair gates including on DD's room is a good one so the cat is able to roam dog free areas

Dogs and cats often get on better than you think they will.

cat will pretty quickly realise it’s in charge and either put the dog in it’s place or just ignore it.

I’ve had a variety of cats and dogs over my lifetime. Generally if the dogs are well behaved the cats are fine and carry on as normal. Most have become attached to the dog, current one pretends to ignore the dog but will sneakily start up a game or sit very close in an attempt to get a reaction.

i wouldn’t worry. As pp have said get some stair gates so the cat can keep a defined territory, and let the cat approach in its own time.

Thank you. You've put my mind at ease a lot.

I have stairgates actually, only took them down last year as I finally accepted my 5yo was growing up and didn't need them 🤣 so I can easily put them back up again.

Ds has a catflap on his bedroom door so she will never have to be anywhere near the dog if she doesn't want to be.

I could also move dd into a downstairs bedroom, although I'll have to see how her seizures go before I decide that. But that would give the cat and dog a defined space each.

I've never had or even really wanted a dog before so I think I'm just stressing about the unknown.

Thanks again for all the advice.

It will be a hard adjustment not just for you but for the cat too but she will adapt.

What about cat shelving up near the ceiling? The stuff promoted as cat shelves are £££ but you could get somr timber, paint it white and have it go all around her favourite rooms. Cat gets to stay high and out the way, dog doesn't get scratched.

My DCat hates / terrified of dogs so I sympathise.

They’ll be fine - cat will be in charge .

Our cats stay out of the dogs way, they are friendly enough cats but not cuddly particularly and never have been. One cat tends to stay upstairs most of the time and will come down when the big dog is in the garden or out, he sleeps upstairs with our small dog. The other cat is downstairs most of the time, he sleeps down there as does our big dog but stays up high. If dog gets too close he'll hiss at him or give him a swipe.

Mostly they all tolerate each other well enough. Some cats and dogs seem to get on really well, ours just manage even though we tried to introduce properly. I think they just get on with it if they need to.