Generalisation
For those with children when you have family holidays do you invite grandparents?
I have a widowed father in law who my partner is now inviting on the majority of our main family holidays (often abroad). I don't know how we quite feel into a default position that he comes on our holiday by default but it feels.like from my partner's point of view there is a family obligation to take her father on holiday given his widowed status and that is natural family dynamic.
my issue is that holidays from my perspective are the only truly mentally clear time to enjoy family time with outdoor activity, exploration and games. Work, school, extrac curricular activity puts certain limits on family life for the majority of the time (general life stress)./My father in law seems to think that our holidays are now grand parent time where he gets to spend quality time with my 10 and 12 year old, in some instances making decisions on were we visit 3rd on holiday and my partner is quite complacent with this. Also when having family meals my father in law is quite opinionated and will gives views on various topics (society,politics,work,education) that might contradict my own beliefs s and I don't feel there is opportunity to discuss a number of things of life interest uninhibited in an immediate family atmosphere.
my father in law seems to be having very minor senior moments and definitely is hugely nostalgic and this comes through in his world view which isn't necessarily mine and he seems to adopt a parent role in these trips of occasion (giving children money and setting limits on it for instance) which is frustrating.
most of all I love my personal space including just time with partner and children only after stressful perio is a of work.
do other s holiday holiday with in laws and i me a it work? How do you set boundaries and make decision on daily activity? Is taking the grand parents an obligation for families?