NC for this as some of the details are quite specific and could be outing.
DB was taken to hospital last week suffering severe breathlessness and erratic heartbeat.
He is paralysed following a spinal cord injury 7 years ago. Upon admission he was also discovered to have low sodium and calcium and "deranged bloods".
I live very far away and so called the hospital every day until I could get a day off to visit. The ward nurses always said he was OK in himself but still suffering the above symptoms as he also has excess fluid.
On Wed I spoke with the doctor who said he had been diagnosed with severe heart failure.
I went to see him the next day and it was so much worse than I expected. He is not "ok in himself" at all. He is confused and delirious. He has no memory of any visitors and will randomly shout at empty spaces before getting agitated and drifting off to sleep. When he talks its slow and slurry and breathless and incoherent. Though he is apparently not sleeping at night. Oh and now he also has MRSA too.
He's agitated and confused. His stats are still all over the place and as long as they remain that way he's at risk of heart attack or stroke.
Best case is that his stats stabilise and his heart rate comes under control and he can go back to the nursing home he lives in with care from the heart failure team to manage his symptoms and try and keep him stable.
Due to complications arising from his pre existing heart condition (a form of angina) and the risks due to his paralysis he wouldn't be suitable for more invasive treatment. So as his named next of kin I had to agree to a DNR.
It was the hardest thing to do and I can't stop crying. Once explained I knew it was the right thing to do but it hurts so much.
At the moment he reminds a lot of my mum when she was nearing the end with Cancer. But I don't know if what he is going through is down to his low sodium or the meds he is on (both potential explanations given by the nurses on the ward).
But right now, I can't sleep and I know that until he stabilises I won't be able to as I just keep expecting "the call". But then they talk about cardiac team treating at home, which sounds like we still have hope,but then the DNR discussion scared me. Honestly right how, I am so tired and confused. I've no idea whats happening and I'm so scared my brother will die.