Horrified with myself...

[Iamclearlyamug]

I know I've been gaining weight over the last year, I'm not stupid.

I knew that clothes that fitted me last year now don't fit, I knew that I couldn't run 5k any more, I knew I was eating way more than I should be. Refused to weigh myself as I was afraid of the answer and just didn't want to face it.

But for some reason I just swept it aside and pretended it wasn't happening. Until now. I'm waking in the night with terrible heartburn and acid reflux - googled it and read that it can be made worse by being overweight.

So I weighed myself. I AM 14 STONE 2LB 😭😭 I've never weighed that much before in my life, I'm 5'6 and a full 3 stone overweight. 18 months ago I weighed 10st 9 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

How has it come to this 😥😥 please give me some encouragement, a hand hold or something - it's 2am and I'm in tears, and can't sleep because of the hideous burning in my throat from acid reflux 😟

Been there op. Cling on to this upset and go into full “fuck this” mode. Remember this feeling every time you want to over indulge.

I have a health condition that causes me to really struggle with losing weight (only come to learn this when I got taken off medication for something else that was controlling said condition on the side). I didn’t want to go back on the medication. Piled 5 stone on and was so depressed.

everything was a struggle and I feel so sad for myself when I look back at pictures now. To be fair though, I prefer how I look with a BIT of weight on me as I seem to carry it in the right places, so I lost 3 out of the 5 stone I gained (fuck me it was hard so I know this won’t be easy for you) and I’ve just had surgery to neaten up some areas. I’ve never been happier with my body.

You can do this. It’s a slow process, which is why you really need to remember this feeling as it will fuel your fire. Just remember every day passed is a day closer to your goal.

good luck op x

I also had a big problem with eating unhealthy food and I decided that no food was to be forbidden but I would cut down on the portion sizes. So instead of a double twix I would have one single twix for example. It's tough but from my experience once you are over the shock you will want those foods less. 4 months later I very rarely eat chocolate. Not because I don't have any in the house because I do, I genuinely don't have cravings for it anymore. You may also want to look at your water intake as often dehydration can be mistaken for hunger. Every time you get a craving, have some water and then set a timer for 10 minutes. If you're still feeling hungry at that point, then try and have some fruit.

Please don't get sucked into the idea that you need to do a big bang change. You're not so overweight that drastic action is needed so going slow and steady is probably the best option for you to ensure you can stick to the changes you're making. Pick one or two small goals to start, i.e. increase water intake by 10%, increase daily step count by 10%, that's what I'd do.

It just makes things worse personally - I have Crohn’s too and when it’s bad even water causes pain but a big glass of milk calms it weirdly , I know it’s not the case for everyone though

@anxiousatnight would love an accountability thread - so today I've eaten some fruit and yoghurt with some porridge oats on top. Then to the harvester for my brothers birthday but I had plain chicken breast with a jacket potato and green beans so hopefully not too bad, and done 12k steps. Tomorrow is day 2 and it'll be harder as I'm on my own all day 😪