Help! - I need to ignore FB dig!!

Howamihere · 2022-10-29T23:31:06+00:00

I am on Facebook but don’t post (well, not for at least 5 years and even then it was just the odd pic of the cat etc!). Anyway, it’s late, I got home to find the dog had been sick on my bed so i’m waiting for my sheets to dry and I popped onto FB for a rare look….. Bloody hell🙈, met by a massively PA post from a friend which is blatantly referring (anonymously) to me…only a few other mates on our WhatsApp group will recognise the dig being at me but I’m still absolutely floored. On my last communication with them I was discussing how fearful and useless I am wrt a certain subject, in no way brag….they’ve obv taken it as some sort of insult. I’m sitting on my hands because making any form of public retort is unnecessary and stupid but gosh, I AM SITTING ON MY HANDS!!! Help me avoid and move on please!!

Allsnotwell · 30/10/2022 00:35

Screen shot it and message her privately!

Even play a bit dumb? Who you on about?

PinkButtercups · 30/10/2022 00:36

I'm petty and would probably like the post but don't do it.

Just pretend it's not there.

Changingplace · 30/10/2022 00:38

I’m confused, how is you being fearful of something in anyway an insult to anyone ends? I don’t get it.

JosephFrancis · 30/10/2022 00:44

Gonna need a bit more information here. Change a few specifics to avoid being identified, but give us the story otherwise we don't know what to suggest

Original poster

Howamihere · 30/10/2022 00:45

@Changingplace in our group messages I was referring to doing X,Y & Z but feeling really fearful and worried, she obv feels that I should not be ‘moaning’ re XYZ (I felt quite brave admitting my genuine fear, she obv thinks it’s some sort of stealth brag).

OP posts:

JosephFrancis · 30/10/2022 00:55

Was it something like buying a house, flying to an exotic location, buying a brand new car or something else that most people would not be able to afford?

Original poster

Howamihere · 30/10/2022 01:04

Not quite @JosephFrancis but I do think part of it was prob financially motivated. I think she’d love the things I’m scared of to be part of her life …but I wasn’t bragging, I am genuinely fearful…she wouldn’t be of course😔

OP posts:

Intru · 30/10/2022 01:07

Howamihere · 30/10/2022 01:04

Not quite @JosephFrancis but I do think part of it was prob financially motivated. I think she’d love the things I’m scared of to be part of her life …but I wasn’t bragging, I am genuinely fearful…she wouldn’t be of course😔

It does sound as though it may have come across as a bit of a stealth brag. What was it?

chelle0 · 30/10/2022 01:10

Like it. Let her know that you've seen it but don't say anything.

JosephFrancis · 30/10/2022 01:11

I've got an acquaintance who did a lot of stealth bragging about a subject a couple of years ago by saying she was nervous and fearful. Buying a horse for her child was the topic, and we know she's not scared of them, she just wanted us all to know she was buying a horse.

Maybe they feel that they know you aren't scared and so think you're doing something like that

Sharming · 30/10/2022 01:15

Is it getting married or having a baby? If so - perhaps she's just struggling with you complaining about something that perhaps she would dearly love to have herself?

I would say nothing - she'll deny it was aimed at you anyway - but perhaps take it on board and be sensitive about complaining about this thing around her again.

kessiebird · 30/10/2022 01:17

I now only have family on FB because of this kind of thing. My friend had a dig on her status over a Easter Egg hunt I was doing for my kids which we had just discussed in a PM. I messaged her saying 'who's being a dick about Easter Eggs then' and she said ah noone, I was just copying my mums friend's status. Clearly not, but I made a point.

Whether there was an unintentional brag on your part or not, I can't stand it when people have a go via their statuses, such a cheap shot.

Natty13 · 30/10/2022 01:22

Comment "totally agree! X" it will wind her right up.

GlassDeli · 30/10/2022 01:32

Don't let her get away with this. She deserves to be called out on it. Post this for all to see:

'If you want to moan about me, at least have the decency to say it to my face, LOL. For what it's worth, I was genuine in what I said and actually trusted you. Shame that you, a so-called friend, resorted to snide and cowardly put-downs.'

No-one will think badly of you for standing up to her. They will probably all give you a virtual round of applause.

Intru · 30/10/2022 01:50

GlassDeli · 30/10/2022 01:32

Don't let her get away with this. She deserves to be called out on it. Post this for all to see:

'If you want to moan about me, at least have the decency to say it to my face, LOL. For what it's worth, I was genuine in what I said and actually trusted you. Shame that you, a so-called friend, resorted to snide and cowardly put-downs.'

No-one will think badly of you for standing up to her. They will probably all give you a virtual round of applause.

Unless, as seems quite possible, the OP was saying how worried she was at the cost of her daughter’s new houses, the effort needed renovating their new second home, or the travel involved now that her son has been given a modelling contract.

Changingplace · 30/10/2022 08:41

Howamihere · 30/10/2022 01:04

Not quite @JosephFrancis but I do think part of it was prob financially motivated. I think she’d love the things I’m scared of to be part of her life …but I wasn’t bragging, I am genuinely fearful…she wouldn’t be of course😔

Was it something like starting a new job that pays more money or doing some exams or something?

Its really hard to know whether it was called for whilst playing detective, I’m sure whatever it is you’re not the only person in the world to be doing it, just say and then people will get it.

MajorCarolDanvers · 30/10/2022 08:49

I don't think it matters what it's about.

You were in a private WhatsApp group with friends - one of whom has taken that conversation and now posted about it online.

That person has broken your trust
Maybe isn't your friend
Or you've genuinely upset her

This friendship is in jeopardise way or the other.

Do you want to fix it - then get in touch and sort it out. Or if you don't you can he dignified and block and ignore or let rip with one of the other suggestions

Inthisissue · 30/10/2022 08:56

GlassDeli · 30/10/2022 01:32

Don't let her get away with this. She deserves to be called out on it. Post this for all to see:

'If you want to moan about me, at least have the decency to say it to my face, LOL. For what it's worth, I was genuine in what I said and actually trusted you. Shame that you, a so-called friend, resorted to snide and cowardly put-downs.'

No-one will think badly of you for standing up to her. They will probably all give you a virtual round of applause.

Omg don't put that! 😮 I'd put a eyebrows raised emoji maybe at most

miceonabranch · 30/10/2022 09:58

Post a laughing emoji 🤣

declutteringmymind · 30/10/2022 10:07

Ignore on Facebook but perhaps call her out in your private WhatsApp group. Just something along the lines of 'I hope that passive aggressive fbook post is not about me as my fears are genuine. Please go ahead and book without me but there's no need to be a bitch on social media'.

Solosunrise · 30/10/2022 10:16

Ignore it. No good will come of it. Just don't trust her with your private fears again.
Better still get off facebook. Does nobody any good!

mrsjimhopper · 30/10/2022 10:40

Like the status. Then forget it!

I didn't think people used FB like this anymore.

Don't reply like previous poster safi as that is very embarrassing for you.