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Original poster

School posted photo of DS..

57 replies

Spookymcspookerson2022 · 29/10/2022 10:23

On their facebook page. At the beginning of the school year we received a consent form. I ticked the box to say I DONT consent.

I'm so mad at them. They have let a few things slip already this year and now I have to go back and look like a moan-y parent again.

OP posts:
GG1986 · 29/10/2022 11:33

You won't sound like a moany parent, you need to point out to them how important it is due to safeguarding.

ladygindiva · 29/10/2022 11:33

Veggieburgers · 29/10/2022 10:53

What is your objection to someone seeing your child's photo?

Jesus Christ. Can you not even begin to imagine ?

ladygindiva · 29/10/2022 11:36

To give an example, when my dc1 began reception I had been stalked and physically assaulted by an ex boyfriend. He made threats to me regarding her, there was a court case ongoing, and we moved and tried to keep our location secret from him ( restraining order etc). The mind boggles that there are people too thick to understand that scenarios like this exist.

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General education
Sherrystrull · 29/10/2022 11:42

Human errors can be made. I'm sure whoever made it will feel awful. Contact the school and ask for it to be rectified and that policies are reviewed so it doesn't happen again.

PantyMcPantFace · 29/10/2022 11:42

Veggieburgers · 29/10/2022 10:53

What is your objection to someone seeing your child's photo?

To add to the reasons parents may not want photos up:
They are in the police/law/judiciary and have had threats made about "I'll get you/your family". Or "I'll find out where your kids go to school".
Previous abusive relationship - similar threats
They/family members are celebrities and at risk from the paparazi
They want their children when they are adults to have control over their social media images - and not have pictures on line until they are able to give their own consent
They are odd and introverted
They just don't fancy it
Their child has a lazy eye and self-consious
Previously adopted - and birth family trying to track them, which would be hugely triggering
In a witness protection situation
Why the fuck does it matter? They have said NO. The reason is 100% irrelevant. Could be any of the above - or no concrete reason.

Do you get the picture?

ClinkeyMonkey · 29/10/2022 11:43

If it's a case of domestic abuse then fine - the school shouldn't post photos. Realistically, surely this isn't the case for most children. I can't see the problem, other than it being yet another thing to add to the long list of things for parents to complain about.

Can't see the the problem. Righty ho. People need to STOP asking for their child's photo not to be published on social media because @Veggieburgers doesn't see the problem.

TimeForMeToF1y · 29/10/2022 11:44

Veggieburgers · 29/10/2022 10:53

What is your objection to someone seeing your child's photo?

Why does that matter?

shabs5 · 29/10/2022 11:46

I've had the same happen twice now, both times I've gone in to speak to office staff and theyve apologised and removed the pictures.
I did ask them to check if the consent form needed to be renewed every year but I was reassured that it didn't need to be and it was there in dds file. It was just an enthusiastic teacher wanting to share with parents on twitter and she hadn't thought to check.

JessesMum777888 · 29/10/2022 11:48

Go and speak to the school.
i don’t know your reasoning for not wanting your child online and that’s your business.
my friends has a looked after child whose family are allowed no contact and it could cause major problems if they found out what school their child was at.
just point it out to them x

shabs5 · 29/10/2022 11:50

And I didn't complain or moan at the office staff, it was an oversight, a mistake, there was no need for a moan.
They were very understanding and I know I'm not the only one. There's lots of reasons why someone may opt out of sharing pictures online of their children, school don't have to share everything online they choose to.
Years ago these pictures would just be placed in a child's learning journal or on a display board in the school somewhere. Social media has made over sharing just seem so normal that the people who appose it are seen as abnormal where's as over sharing is actually so weird. No one needs to see everything you do, you want them to see it.

AliceMcK · 29/10/2022 12:21

I recently contacted my DDs school about this, not my DD but someone else’s. The school was posting updates and photos about a school trip, 2 of the photos had 3 children in that should not have been published. One child is in care and the other 2 siblings have other reasons not to be published. I know the siblings parents very well and knew they wouldn’t see the photos as they can’t have devices at work, I also knew the mum would absolutely freak out, she has severe anxiety, so I called the school and said quickly contact the teachers on the trip to check the photos. There was no issue, they were great full I’d contacted them as soon as the photos went up. It was just an oversight, but one that could have had consequences if the pictures hadn’t been taken down straight away.

MajesticElephant · 29/10/2022 12:37

My “D”F is an extremely violent man and we have deliberately not shared details of schools or the like to any family so he can’t accidentally find out where my DC is. Given DC looks spitting image of my brothers and “D”F knows roughly where we live it wouldn’t take him long to put 2+2 together. Not that anyone except the head at DC school knows it because it’s no one else’s fucking business.

Xer · 29/10/2022 12:45

We have had members of my DH family threaten to abduct my DC. I wouldn't give give consent for their photo to be shared on a public fb page either. We have had police involvement and a security walk through with school who also have their images on file because they are a credible threat.
Sounds like absolute BS when said out loud but you have no idea what goes on behind closed doors.

ManefesationofConciousness · 29/10/2022 12:46

Veggieburgers · 29/10/2022 10:53

What is your objection to someone seeing your child's photo?

It isn’t your image to share
it is the child’s and will be available for ever?

Prescottdanni123 · 29/10/2022 12:50

@Veggieburgers if OP's child is adopted or has an abusive dad or relative that is not allowed contact, having photos of him online could put him at risk because it gives away his location.

Even if there isn't a safeguarding risk - and there may not be - it is OP's decision whether they can post pictures of her child. She has requested that they don't do this so they should respect her decision and make sure that her wishes are adhered too.

Allsnotwell · 29/10/2022 12:54

Also if you want my opinion! A lot of these picture end up on porn sites and there’s nothing you can do to get them removed. You have consented to your child’s image to be freely uploaded by anyone.

It has happened to 4 teens I know after they’ve been searched on line - I know all of them personally or their parents. It’s that common.

Nanny0gg · 29/10/2022 13:14

Veggieburgers · 29/10/2022 11:10

If it's a case of domestic abuse then fine - the school shouldn't post photos. Realistically, surely this isn't the case for most children. I can't see the problem, other than it being yet another thing to add to the long list of things for parents to complain about.

Show quote history

Just because you don't see a problem doesn't mean there isn't one.

You're not the parent in this case so you don't get to decide

nottodaytomorrow · 29/10/2022 13:16

Veggieburgers · 29/10/2022 10:53

What is your objection to someone seeing your child's photo?

Not relevant or important.

MightyOaks · 29/10/2022 13:20

@Veggieburgers I have a friend whose DH turned out to be a murderer and when he came out of prison, tried to kill her and their 2 sons. She believe me, this man has gone to EFFORTS to try and track her down, even threatening & blackmailing his way into personal records to track her down. 4 Refuges & 6 Police forces later and he found her again after discovering which county she was in and scouring every. Single. School in the entire county's websites & social media and despite the local IDAS worker informing the school twice how serious it was that these kids' pictures are NOT published ANYWHERE - they still were. He saw it and waited outside school.....
She can no longer have any contact with anyone she knew until this point and her 2 children have had to change their names for a 5th time.

Of course you'll 'laugh' and accuse me of lying but unfortunately it's very true.

Just because something hasn't happened to you, doesn't mean it's bullshit!!!

Eightiesfan · 29/10/2022 13:48

This really depends on your son’s age.

In UK schools, if students are 13-years-old or over they can give consent for photos, regardless of the box parents ticked on the consent form unless there are known safeguarding issues.

Veggieburgers · 29/10/2022 13:55

MightyOaks · 29/10/2022 13:20

@Veggieburgers I have a friend whose DH turned out to be a murderer and when he came out of prison, tried to kill her and their 2 sons. She believe me, this man has gone to EFFORTS to try and track her down, even threatening & blackmailing his way into personal records to track her down. 4 Refuges & 6 Police forces later and he found her again after discovering which county she was in and scouring every. Single. School in the entire county's websites & social media and despite the local IDAS worker informing the school twice how serious it was that these kids' pictures are NOT published ANYWHERE - they still were. He saw it and waited outside school.....
She can no longer have any contact with anyone she knew until this point and her 2 children have had to change their names for a 5th time.

Of course you'll 'laugh' and accuse me of lying but unfortunately it's very true.

Just because something hasn't happened to you, doesn't mean it's bullshit!!!

Oh dear, what dreadful people there are.

PinkButtercups · 29/10/2022 14:16

Veggieburgers · 29/10/2022 10:53

What is your objection to someone seeing your child's photo?

I don't allow my DS to be posted onto the school website either.

No thanks, some random weirdo can see what school they go to (I've never, unless you know him or us, posted about his school).

Maybe it's a bit extreme. I don't feel comfortable with it and would be furious if DS appeared on their website.

PinkButtercups · 29/10/2022 14:17

Oops was meant to add:
People who know us, know what school he attends. Other than that, no.

AngieBolen · 29/10/2022 14:19

It really doesn't matter why a parent doesn't want a school to publish photos.

I was in a situation where I could put my own DCs photos on line, but was at risk of someone who knew which school their were at attempting to take them. I never raised it with secondary school because by that age my DC were aware, but I asked for no photos as I didn't want them linked to the school. I didn't want there ever to be a situation where someone tried to take my DC from school. It was a sensible precaution, and not one I would have told other parents about. The no photos on website dealt with it sufficiently.

The school should removed the photo immediately, apologise and tell you what is in place for this not to happen again. You won't be seen as moan-y.

slowquickstep · 29/10/2022 14:39

I wouldn't be the moany parent i would be the well pissed off parent. it is part of someone's job to make sure the SM only contains photos of children whose parents have given consent, if the idiot who is being paid to check such things hasn't bothered their arse then they need that arse hauling over the coals.