It's the rulz !

[lightlypoachedeyeballs]

There are many unwritten rules in life. Who's up for sharing theirs? I'll start

• it's the roolz that when you have a bad back, that EVERYTHING must throw itself onto the floor, out of reach

• it's the roolz that if a cat is going to vomit then it must do it on carpet right next to the easily washable kitchen floor . Little furry bastards.

• it's the roolz that if you break a glass it must be one of a set of your favourites, not a cheap Tesco/ikea one.

Any more to add?

Dropped toast lands butter side down.

You'll only catch the loop of your jeans on the door handle if you're in a bad mood.

A new one

It's the roolz that MN formatting will get cocked up if you try and use bullet points

All Traffic lights are on red if you are already late

No matter how recently you changed the babies, one will need a nappy change the minute you put your shoes on. Both if you’re running late. If you’re running late to a job interview or funeral you know it’s going to be two brown nappies.

Whereas if your dog is going to vomit it is when they have just jumped onto the bed to say good morning 😣

If you’re wearing a white-coloured shirt the disposable coffee cup will always leak. If it’s a particularly nice shirt, you won’t notice the coffee stain until its dried on. 😭

The dog will only ever vomit after I have steam cleaned the floors.
The house phone will only ever ring on the one day I have a lie in.

If it's tomato soup for lunch, then it's going to find the front of your t shirt.

That bargain eBay find you’ve been studiously following for 9 days and got at a bargain price is the one item that got lost/double listed/not found etc.

If you’re waiting for a delivery you need to sign for, no matter how long you are in the house, it will come while you’re on the toilet or within the ten minutes when you had to run out to collect the kids/get electric from the shop/other urgent errand. If you don’t go to the toilet all day, around 2pm you’ll get a text from DPD saying they didn’t get to you and will now deliver it tomorrow instead.

Isn't that "sods law" ?

If there’s a really good discount on something you like, it will be sold out or if it’s clothing, only available in a random size at the opposite end of the size chart to you.

Great thread OP

Another toilet one.

You will Always need a wee when ready to leave the house. Or a pop when on a walk in remote place with no toilets