Have you ever turned anyone away because you thought you didn't deserve them?

[Thykk]

Long story short. I've been dating current bf for a while. It started off very very slowly due to my previous bad relationship and other issues. We're at a stage where I'd say we're pretty serious but I feel crazy for even writing this but recently I have a massive urge to break up with him.

Our relationship is easy, we get along, laugh and have fun. He gets me and I get him and he is just perfect for me. And I think that's the problem. I think the whole thing is too good to be true and it's making me feel uneasy. I have this feeling that something is going to go wrong. I have always felt like what on earth is he doing with me and honestly he could do so much better.

I look at him and feel so so guilty for having these bad thoughts but I'm worried that he'll think something is up. Im scared to tell him how I'm feeling as I don't even understand it myself.

Can anyone else relate?? I sound crazy!

Yes I totally relate. Uncannily.

I have a wonderful boyfriend of around 4 months. We get on so well, have so much in common, and love each other's company. We have exchanged 'I love you's and met each others friends, family etc.

I am looking for problems because i dont see why i would be good enough or how I could deserve to keep this up long term.

At night, find myself inwardly overreacting about things that in the light of day are fine.

Things like questioning whether he likes me for me, or just because we're such a good fit. He has said he likes so many things about my personality, physicality etc, not just that we have common interests. He has opened up about past relationships including someone maybe 2-3 years ago whom he developed feelings for that were not returned, and not handled very tactfully. He's said this matter if factly, just filling me in on his experiences, not in any lovelorn way, but I find myself worrying whether he is still hung up, whether I am boring because I do love him back and there isn't that persual. They work in different parts of the same (huge) company so I worry what if they cross paths again. I worry that when I let him know I have a history of sexual assault, he didn't push for details (an ex who I think was building up to being abusive really did push), just said he would be there to talk any time. I worry that I am too fat (I'm not huge but not skinny or petite).

I keep getting sporadic urges to bail even though he makes me so happy and is very keen on me. I don't think this is any wise gut feeling, I think this is my anxiety. If you think yours is the same, could you address the anxiety, say with some counselling?