Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Back to work after sick leave. How to handle colleague?

74 replies

SquashyPumpkin · 27/10/2022 20:35

Been off for 4 weeks with work stress due to workload and slacker colleague. Mainly due to colleague who I absolutely hate working with.

Had hoped to find another job and not go back at all but nothing has come up. I can't afford to resign with no job.

It has been decided (finally, took me being signed off to do it) to separate mine and colleague's work so it will be obvious how little she's doing. Before I took on most of the work.

There is a large element of the job which she absolutely hates, has made excuses not to do so I was doing it, and she will now be solely responsible for.

She will obviously be informed of this and will know that I have complained about her. She is the type to be confrontational and will be extremely pissed off.

Any tips on how to handle her?

OP posts:
Magenta82 · 27/10/2022 20:41

SquashyPumpkin · 27/10/2022 20:35

Been off for 4 weeks with work stress due to workload and slacker colleague. Mainly due to colleague who I absolutely hate working with.

Had hoped to find another job and not go back at all but nothing has come up. I can't afford to resign with no job.

It has been decided (finally, took me being signed off to do it) to separate mine and colleague's work so it will be obvious how little she's doing. Before I took on most of the work.

There is a large element of the job which she absolutely hates, has made excuses not to do so I was doing it, and she will now be solely responsible for.

She will obviously be informed of this and will know that I have complained about her. She is the type to be confrontational and will be extremely pissed off.

Any tips on how to handle her?

I think your best bet is to refer her to your manager, it isn't up to you to handle her. If she confronts you, tell her you don't want to discuss it and to speak to the manager if she isn't happy.

StrataZon · 27/10/2022 20:43

Is your colleague the dick that caused the dick leave?

Seriously I wouldn't engage with her. Keep your head down and get on with your work.
Who separated the work? Anything colleague says about it just keep referring her to that person. Deny all knowledge of anything she's asking about. Smile, be polite but don't engage.

And keep looking for a new job. Good luck

suzyscat · 27/10/2022 20:51

Keep everything super professional and minimal contact, wherever possible have a witness or a paper trial, like email.

Keep a diary of any negative interactions and after the first few report to line manager or possibly HR. Continue to keep a diary and make sure read any emails or requests from her carefully so you're not getting stitched up.

Now the really tricky bit is staying vigilant and recording issues whilst not letting this become all consuming. Try and enjoy your changed role. (And pat your head, rub your tummy and shove a broom up arse and sweep the floor whilst your at it.)

I also found going to the gym in my lunch hour really helped me manage work place stress, although that's only helpful if there's one really close.

WakingUpDistress · 27/10/2022 20:52

A more serious answer…. (You might end up having to repost to get a proper answer to your question lol)

I would grey rock her. Don’t engage. If she complains, just ay it’s a management decision and she needs to speak to the manager about it.
She should have done that work for the last 4 weeks anyway and her lack of work might well have been very obvious then.
But yes dint explain, don’t give reasons or excuses. Dom t generally engage if she is ranting/grumbling/confrontational. Refer her back to her manager.

If things get really bad, keep a record (even better if she uses email…..) and contact HR/manager about her behaviour.

PayPennies · 27/10/2022 20:52

Clevererthanyou · 27/10/2022 20:38

Dying 😂Mumsnet is gold today. I had mastitis once, tit leave?

I have now expired as I have inhaled my soup laughing.

Phrenologistsfinger · 27/10/2022 20:54

Cavviesarethebest · 27/10/2022 20:37

Love that your work has special designated leave for stress from dickheads

this should be legislated for

Seconded!

Bluetrews25 · 27/10/2022 20:59

Will she definitely know you have complained?
Surely a manager will just have said that she needs to crack on and do everything because you are off?
There may not be a scene. If there is just think 'dick leave - I made the vipers laugh' to give you some strength.
Good luck on your return, hope it's all ok for you.

maddiemookins16mum · 27/10/2022 21:05

Every negative/confrontational interaction with her/him you say ‘you need to discuss this arrangement with ……(insert appropriate name’.
Then note down the date, time, the discussion.

BarbaraofSeville · 27/10/2022 21:11

Pixiedust1234 · 27/10/2022 20:41

okay, if she gets confrontational just tell her she needs to speak to her manager. Its their decision. Keep repeating it whilst walking away, or picking up the phone to pretend to call someone.

This. And hats off to your managers for dealing with this.

In many workplaces the lead swingers are allowed to get away with it while everyone else burns themselves out trying to keep up with work that the slackers should be doing.

Just calmly get on with your own (hopefully now manageable) workload.

idonotmind · 27/10/2022 21:13

Oh my

Me too

Awesomeo · 27/10/2022 21:13

Nomination for classics?

Brefugee · 27/10/2022 21:15

Only talk about work related issues. Any signs that the dickishness is returning or heading your way - bodyswerve and refer to your manager. Concentrate on doing your job and doing it well, and let everyone else worry about colleague.

NiqueNique · 27/10/2022 21:16

Seriously?! The title’s actually been changed! 🙄

Shame on MNHQ...

Anyway, @SquashyPumpkin i hope the thread has cheered you up, at least, and hopefully you’ll have had/will get some good advice too. 💐

Lindengericht · 27/10/2022 21:17

Amarette · 27/10/2022 20:36

I'd love some dick leave.

GrinGrinGrin

And 100% correct

elephantseal · 27/10/2022 21:20

It's a shame that management didn't manage her better and that it had to get to this stage. I hope you're feeling better and ready to go back?

Agree with others - try to grey rock her. Keep everything polite and brief. Keep a record of any nasty comments she makes. If she asks about her new workload, refer her to her manager each time.

Good luck. I hope it goes well.

bewarethetides · 27/10/2022 21:22

Tell her to back off and take it up elsewhere. You're not there to do her work for her.

WeAreTheHeroes · 27/10/2022 21:22

I would have regular updates with your manager too - make sure they know what you're doing in terms of workload.

Natty13 · 27/10/2022 21:24

Just tell her "Sue, it's not my decision how the work gets divvied up. I'm just back from a month off sick
can you let me get settled back in please and go to Manager with your issues?"

Shyte · 27/10/2022 21:25

I never laugh out loud but dick leave did it for me...

I'm sorry you're going through this. Being the bigger person is always the hardest but best way. I would probably plan a few polite but assertive responses which shut the conversation down. I would aim not to get into any discussions with this person unless my manager was present. Hope things improve for you once the initial reaction is out the way 💜.

GucciBear · 27/10/2022 21:29

I missed the original title - really cross about that!!. Be polite and pleasant and no more. Good luck

LaGioconda · 27/10/2022 21:29

I'd be inclined to stonewall her, along the lines of "Nothing to do with me, I've been on sick leave, I just do what I'm told".

NumberTheory · 27/10/2022 21:31

Loving the typo, OP. As PP says,v remind yourself of the laughter on here when colleague is being dickish.

If she confronts you I would just stay very calm, try and be nonchalant, don’t pretend you don’t know what’s happened but be very general and only talk about what’s been done for you-

“My workload was much, much higher than it was supposed to be and it ended up with me too stressed to work.”
“[Management] have agreed to make sure I don’t have more work on my plate than I’m supposed to have.”
“Obviously, [manager] doesn’t talk to me about your workload.”
“You’ve been given all of x? I think I was doing that over the summer. At least you don’t have to do all of Y as well.”
“If you don’t like your workload you’ll need to talk with [manager]. It’s not up to me.”

If you’re feeling brave and it won’t get you in trouble you could try something along the lines of
”Well if you hadn’t shafted me for [however long it’s been] you wouldn’t be struggling now. You don’t have any more work to do than I do, and a damn sight less than you use to land me with before I complained. So stop whinging to me about it.”

2bazookas · 27/10/2022 21:32

If she raises it with you, just say the changes /new work allocation were made by management while you were away on sick leave, you were not consulted.

ivykaty44 · 27/10/2022 21:36

dick leave aside

as other pp said

refer to manager with anything she says and do not get into any type of conversation with her, silence is deadly for her and a much more powerful weapon. Keep silent apart from referring her to your manager.

custardbear · 27/10/2022 21:36

Damn it, I missed the dick leave lol 😆

As others have said, don't engage, just be clear with your manager that you need support from them to get away from the dick