So scared - gum disease

[bluebells34]

I have a deep rooted fear of dentists as I gag when anything is n my mouth - even chewing gum. So not had a check up for a long time plus couldnt when covid hit. I noticed a gap developing in my front lower teeth and could literally feel the enamel coming away. I managed to register with a NHS dentist as it was on the news that people were having to pay private.
I was too scared to let the dentist do an x ray incase I gagged. She was really unsympathetic - looked in my mouth and said "you have gum disease your teeth ate loose and you are more than likely to loose them" I need a back tooth extracting and she recommended I see the hygenist
I also have an underbite which has worsened my front teeth are literally under my lower set
I have googled everything and so scared
Made an appointment with my GP as it advises there could be an underlying medical issue such as cancer, diabetes or a heart condition
I am a single mum and can not afford this - stupid me thinking NHS dentist would be free for treatment but so far I have paid £99 to see a hygenist and £65 for tooth extraction
I am so scared because if I go down there is no one to pay the mortgage or bills and I feel I have failed my beautiful daughter
Spent years self neglecting myself to save money

Don't beat yourself up, you haven't failed anyone. I doubt there's any reason to worry about heart disease, cancer etc but I would seriously consider asking your GP for counselling help you overcome your fear of dentists. It would make everything so much easier.
In terms of dental treatment - is there a dental hospital near you? When I couldn't afford to get my wisdom teeth out they removed them for free. It was with a student dentist but in my experience they were excellent.

There is an orthodontist at a local hospital - reading other peoples experiences of gym disease on here is awful - gum surgery, bone surgery
My mental health has dived to an all low - I almost feel like having all of my teeth out to save me the pain of treatment and the money but then I read you cant even have false teeth as they wont sit on the swollen gums

You have already taken lots of sensible steps, you're doing really well!

Do you work, what's your income situation?

That dentist sounds somewhat unfeeling, how she communicates will make a big difference to her patients - as you know.

What's the next step, have you seen the hygienist yet?

Would it be possible to move to a different NHS dentist or are they the only practise taking on new patients?

It might be possible for your GP to refer you to a clinic for dentist phobia. My friends husband went down this route and had teeth extracted under general anaesthetic at the hospital.

I had a slightly similar patch earlier this year when a hygienist told me I had bad gum disease, possible surgery needed which wouldn't come under NHS, etc. Felt like I'd failed, quite scared and upset.

However I moved to another dentist (which I know I was lucky to be able to do), and the hygienist there said my teeth were fine and showed me X rays to prove it!

Have you had dental x rays before, they shouldn't make you gag? Yes you have to hold a little plate in your mouth but it's more at the front than the back, it just pushes your tongue aside a bit. If you've coped with having a back tooth out under local anaesthetic an x ray should be easy?

Don't panic and don't have all your teeth removed! I am under a specialist periodontist at a sedation clinic because I too am phobic at the dentist. I do see mine privately and it is breathtakingly expensive but I'm still somewhat attached to my teeth and I'd like to keep them if I can! The clinic does take NHS referrals so it's worth asking your dentist about something similar. While I await the perio treatment I've been instructed to use interdental brushes after normal brushing and before mouthwash. It's obviously not going to fix the problem but it does help a bit to reduce the soreness and that. I checked with my gp as well and she said if no other symptoms gum disease is unlikely to be a result of anything other than dental neglect, so try not to stress about that. It is upsetting and horrible, you have my utmost sympathy, but the right dentist will get you on course for a big improvement.

Thanks all for your replies. I work full time but struggling to make ends meet - for the past 6 months I have been getting up at 5.30 to do a paper round before I start my 9-5 job then clean for 2 hours 3 days a week in the evenings just to get by. I could not afford to go to a sedation clinic or have extensive treatment - regular clean by the hygenist is £99 but thought it would have come under band 2 as on going treatment for the gum disease. I have not had the tooth extracted yet - end of November and hygenist this coming Monday
I am scared the hygenist will make my teeth fallout if they are already loose
No other dentists in my area are taking on NHS patients

A sedation clinic is NHS and you see the dentist just as you would in your own practice. It's not a private clinic that you have to pay for.

Your dentist was being honest with you. You probably are at risk of losing these teeth if you don't take action straight away.

Gum disease is strongly correlated with heart disease, so you are putting yourself at risk from heart disease if you don't get the gingivitis under control.

Hopefully your hygienist will be helpful to you. They really are on a mission to improve your oral health, a good deep clean will set you on the right path and she will have so much advice for you to improve your flossing and brushing techniques.

your dentist is correct, allowing gum disease to progress will eventually cause tooth loss. But you are not there yet, you can really turn things around with a little extra care.

I’m sure it feels so hopeless at the moment but don’t make a rash decision, please don’t have your teeth removed. There is a real chance you can save them with your hygienist's care. This may well be the best £99 you will ever spend. They know their stuff, a good hygienist is worth their weight in gold. Best of luck @bluebells34

@FitYeDaeinYeMadRadge thank you kind and positive words
I just think it will be more serious due to the under bite getting worse and bone loss. I will ask for an X ray as I need to tackle this head on
Surgery looks horrendous for the under bite as well
Worried I will loose my job if I have to have all of these treatments
The hygienist appointment is at 12.30 - my job is speaking on the phones - will I be able to speak after this treatment or should I take the afternoon off ?

You really shouldn’t feel too much discomfort after your hygienist appointment, I head straight to work after mine. However if you feel you need some time to decompress afterwards then that might be a good idea.

i hope your hygienist is as thorough and as patient as mine. If she is I think you may find it a very positive experience and go a long way to allaying your fears. Be prepared for follow up appointments, they may be a few months in between.

it will be worth it. Dentists have such a short time to see their patients, hygienists are allocated more time usually. Please tell her you are a bit anxious about it, mine always tells me to raise my hand if I need her to stop. So far I have never needed to but knowing the option is there helps immensely.

You will be okay. You really will.

How did you get on today @bluebells34 ?

I have not slept - been awake since 1am. The hygienist appointment is on Monday - back molar extraction 28th November
Going to ask for an x ray as well as without this they wont know what treatment I need - guessing I have lost a lot of bone.
Managed to get a GP appointment this morning regarding any underlying conditions
With all the medical science you would have thought a cure could have been found for gum disease - if its bacteria why cant anti biotics get rid of it.
Met a friend last night to chat this over - she literally edged away from me and looked disgusted. The very word gum disease makes me feel so dirty and disgusting.
I have been seeing someone for a few months and am going to tell him its over tonight as gum disease can be passed on through kissing- he does not need to be with someone with this fowl disease.
Which will leave me totally on my own to face this

I think you need to take a deep breath and stop being so dramatic. Gum disease can be reversible if it's caught in time and you work with your dentist/ hygienist. I think 99 is quite expensive for the hygienist,it's only £60 at my private dentist, so it might be worth seeing someone else for that,I suppose it's area dependant.

@bluebells34 I have gum disease and it’s not as simple as “ooh you’ve been neglecting your teeth”, there’s a strong hereditary element to it as well. Both my parents have it, my mum had ti have all her teeth out in her 20s because of it. As my periodontist said “some ppl can never clean or floss & never get gum disease, others can do everything you should and still get it”

I have lost a few teeth (wear a plate) but mine is now under control. You’re likely to need a deep clean to start with - this will be done with a local anaesthetic so you don’t feel a thing. They may need to see you a few times to do it as they can’t numb your whole mouth. Once that’s done, you’ll need to see a hygienist every month for a maintenance clean & use interdental brushes when you clean to manage plaque

i completely understand how you feel. I used to hate the dentist too but now I’ve had so much done I’m completely blasé about it! I really hope the dentist & hygienist can help you manage it & give you advice. It’s extremely common so please don’t beat yourself up about it xx

Sorry every 3 months not every month!

Don’t panic ! I had bad gum disease and have managed to improve my gums to the point where my dentist and hygienist are happy that there are no major issues.

When you see the hygienist they’ll probably check your teeth for movement and do a proper assessment of your gums by seeing where the ‘pockets’ are ..basically where your gum isn’t sticking to your teeth. Its likely to be in certain spots .

They will then clean in the pockets with water jets and clean the side of the tooth so the gum can re-adhere. They’ll tell you how to clean your teeth and areas to focus on. Over time the pockets lessen if you keep it up.

Although you can’t reverse the bone loss, the cleaning and maintenance should make your teeth more secure. I was given the same dire warnings many years ago, but have never had surgery and my teeth are ok now. I don’t have any risk factors , it just hereditary for me so don’t think it must be your fault or you must be ill.

pm me if you’like any more details. I love the hygienist, my mouth feels so good afterwards. Remember though that if you find the hygienist is too much fear snd not enough encouragement ask if you could try seeing someone else in the practice. I’ve swapped several times and the current lady I see is perfect.

You really need to get a cap on the worrying about it. There's no need to split with your partner because you have it. Tell your GP this to make him realise how much of an issue this is.

Gum disease if the most common disease in the world. You are continually using your mouth so it’s not a disease to medicate for. It’s one to get under control and then maintain and can be avoided with good oral hygiene. It’s true there is a genetic element to it as well.

Practice fastidious hygiene and I would recommend using lukewarm salty water to rinse your mouth out with after brushing. Also look at how you clean your teeth, most people do not spend enough time cleaning, plus snacking is awful for your teeth. I was a dental nurse when I was young and worked in a day surgery unit eventually where we performed general anaesthetics and dealt with many patients whose mouths were in dreadful states often due to dental phobia. I have seen many a gingivectomy performed, they will only do this as a last resort and it is not as terrible as you would imagine.

Don’t dump your boyfriend, I would say getting your head under control is your priority currently.

I was told the same, 12 years on my teeth are all still there except one which was not gum disease related. I have been to a Periodontal Clinic and what Theeyeballsinthesky says is pretty much my experience. It is now under control and I am now back to my local dentist and hygienist. All my deep cleans were done under local anaesthetic so the most you should feel is some sensitivity afterwards. You must have an x ray before having any treatment to establish the severity of the problem and exactly what is required. Personally, in your shoes I wouldn't proceed with an expensive, but probably, standard hygienist appointment without knowing if you require more specialist treatment first.
I'm sorry you are going through this, I was devasted when I was told all my teeth would fall out by a very uncaring dentist as I had attended regular appointments and never been warned there was any problem.
You will get through this.

Another person here with gum disease! Like you, I was terrified when I was told that I had it with 'pockets' (the gap between your gum and your teeth) of 9mm. I remember having to pull the car over after being told and crying by the roadside as I was so upset.

I had to see a specialist periodontalist, who did some amazing intensive deep cleaning and then saw the hygenist who taught me a regime of regular cleaning with different size interdental brushes.

That was 15 years ago, I haven't lost any teeth, I don't have heart disease. I do spend about 10 minutes every morning and night doing my teeth though.

@VicSynix Its so distressing. Did you have to pay private for the periodontalist or is it included in band 3?
I have found a private periodontalist - consultation alone is £265 and treatments £1'000 upwards
I just feel all this flossing is making my gums even more sore - perhaps not doing it right and will see what the hygienist says on Monday

I had gum disease years ago. I was actually treated by the hygienist and never felt a thing. It was all under NHS but (my wonderful mum) paid about £300 towards the treatment. I still don't know what they did but I went about once a fortnight and my mouth was numbed and I was in the chair for about an hour with breaks when I needed. I also had some kind of carteledge? syringes I had to put into my gums at home, which were absolutely fine to do, I soon got used to them. I'm dental phobic and I honestly never felt a thing. This was in 2005 and I've been OK since. My son has also had to have treatment at the dental hospital and the staff there could not have been lovelier and were very good with nervous patients.

an update - so the dentist referred me to the hygienist - went today and the dentist was the hygienist! So it must be her private practice and why she charged me £90. I needed a deep clean I don't dispute that or the gum disease as developed gaps and gums are sore but cant help thinking this was very expensive. I didn't need numbing and it did not hurt. X ray taken and no decay/fillings just severe gum disease. She said I had severe gum disease and receeding gums and to use the inter brushes but did not demonstrate how to and suggested a mouth wash gengigel and to come back for a clean in 3 months time.

Hmm, that sounds a bit dodgy - dentist = hygienist (and she didn't even explain that?) and didn't fully explain how to clean teeth...
But did you feel confident in her other work and explanations? The makers of the brushes probably have online videos, or other dental sites online though.