How much spare time do you have?

[Morph22010]

I feel that in theory I have loads of spare time but in practise It feels like I’m always on the go and am struggling to get all my house jobs done. I work full time so am out of the house 745 till 630 each day as I drop ds off at his special school first which is 10 miles away. Dh does pick up and is at home with him till I’m home. Ds is autistic and does a couple of sports clubs in the week which I stay at as he’s autistic so parents have to stay. I should have 2-3 hours spare on an evening to get other jobs done but the time just seems to be gone. Likewise on the weekend, ds is the sort that likes to activities but needs a parent with him and sometimes 2-1 but after that, doing abit of shopping and sorting out the washing/putting clothes away I feel like the weekend has slipped by and I’ve wasted a few hours just doing nothing like browsing mumsnet or the internet. How do other ppl organise and motivate themselves? I’m wondering whether to do a sort of schedule where I do specific things on specific days but ds can be unpredictable so some days is very hard work so I’m wondering if it’s even realistic

I do certain cleaning on certain days, but if something happens and I can’t, I feel a bit anxious about it. So I’d say just do what you can, when you can.
Cut your jobs down into smaller tasks, so rather than dust and hoover the whole upstairs, maybe just do a bedroom at a time. Rather than doing the whole kitchen, do the floor one day and the rest another.

I work 4 days but it’s quite flexible so this means I can sometimes sneak out for a run / cycle / walk at lunchtime which is nice and feels like “me time”.

Now DD is at school my non-working day is technically free time, although I always have jobs to do. But I try & priortise doing something for me like exercise.

At the weekend DH and I ensure we each get one slot of genuine free time - the other person looks after DD. Genuine free time means not doing childcare or chores. It’s time we can spend exactly as we please.

Life is hectic as I have a busy job, a 4 year old and we don’t have help from any cleaners, gardeners etc. DH is hands on but works long hours with a long commute. So I always feel like I’m juggling.

I’m currently reading the book “Four Thousand Weeks” by Oliver Burkeman which is about how we spend our time - it’s very insightful !

Don’t be too hard on yourself, you have a lot on your plate.

Can DH do any jobs when he’s at home with DS after school?

Sounds like you’re missing out on having leisure time to yourself. I think there’s some phases in life where you have to let go of having a clean tidy house!

Do you need to work such long hours? Could you cut down by an afternoon so you can get some time to yourself?

I find my weekends feel longer and I fit much more in (without any effort) if I put my phone down.

Well you kind of answered your own question - when you have time you chill. And that is fine, it's my favourite thing to do. But if you are choosing chilling over housework, of course something won't get don't. And that's ok too. I know that if I said I had no time to (insert random boring chore) I'd be lying because I found time to (insert anything other than boring chore). I just prefer the less boring stuff, so that's what I do.

Hahahaha 😂
Spare time!
I have a 2 year old and a 1 year old and another on the way! No such thing as spare time! But I love the chaos so no complaints!

I get 10 mins a day if I'm lucky

I work full time, up at 6:45am, out the house by 7:45am and home at 6pm. Toddler is usually asleep by 8pm. That's when I get my only free time I guess - a couple of hours before I head to bed as well, usually spent either endlessly scrolling online or watching something with DH. I took the decision that I don't do any housework once the toddler is asleep, because if I did then I would literally have zero down time. Most of the housework gets done at the weekend, and during the week I just keep on top of things like dinner and the kitchen. I get almost 2 hours with toddler every evening. At the weekends he attends activities on a saturday morning from 9 until 1pm - 9am to 10am I get to leave him, but the activities after until 1pm I have to stay with him. Then we usually spend the rest of saturday at home doing different things / housework. Sunday is more housework / activites at home / out for a walk, and then some weekends we will go out as a family either for lunch or a day trip somewhere or something. Again, at the weekend he is asleep by 8pm so that's the only real down time I get. I'm hoping once he (and baby number 2 who is on the way...) is a bit older and more independent that I'll be able to get more free time again?! I've been told this is the case and hoping it's true!

I get less free time than I did when the kids were toddlers, but one of them is on the ASD.
Weekdays up at 7 and usual morning chaos. 8 ish I start work (WFH but with client visits so in and out.) DW does school pick up etc.

I finish around 5 then it's homework, housework, sorting food, laundry, with kids etc. we don't have the evening downtime anymore. Evenings are when my DS needs homework help or to discus his school anxieties. And it is when my DD has her meltdowns and bed refusals. She is normally awake until 11; after that I collapse but don't sleep until far too late because I need some time alone to rest before I can sleep.

Weekends depends on the kids but if she is in a good place there are some downtime opportunities then - but she wants/needs to be with a parent for all of her waking hours...

6-7 hours a day but I don't have children so my answer is fairly meaningless when looking at your situation.

The only thing I will say is that I always get my housework done before I sit down, as once I'm comfy on the sofa, I never want to get up again