Curfew/home time for 14yo?

[Notjusta]

I've already given my answer to DS on this already, but interested on views.

DS 14, year 10, doesn't often go out in the evening but today he's unusually at his GF's house and just messaged to ask what time he should come home. We live at the 'rougher' end of a 'naice' area but still low crime and relatively safe. He has a 5-10 minute (max) walk home - mainly along a main road, but he has to pass a very slightly dodgy parade of shops where occasionally there are groups of older teens/young 20s hanging out being a bit noisy/cocky.

What's a reasonable curfew?

11? Just get him to text you when he’s leaving

My kids are a lot younger so probably don't have much idea. I am thinking 8:30-9 because of the roughness. But thinking that's maybe too early?

If it's a one off, non regular occasion. Could you go and pick him up?

He sounds very sensible and lovely to have messaged you what time to be home. I absolutely would not have done this when I was younger

@User38899953 Aww he is lovely - thank you!

Unfortunately I've got a younger one here and my DH is out so can't pick him up - otherwise I absolutely would have.

10.15pm, i.e. leaves girlfriend's house at 10pm. It's respectful to her family as well.

Oh wow I thought 9/930! Maybe a bit later in summer

I'd say home for 10pm? Get him to send you his location on WhatsApp when he leaves the girlfriends house so you can see his route and where he is x

Iwas going to pubs and festivals at that age and was trusted to look after myself. I don’t think a 10 minute walk is a massive deal and 11 isn’t late

Good point from @Paq that it needs to be considerate of gfs parents too.

9pm.

If it's a party etc then later, but this could be a regular thing if he has a GF so you don't want him out too late too often. It easier to make it later in future.

If it's not a school night, I'd say home by 930/10 latest but he should also check with his gf family about how late they want him there. Some parents go to bed a lot earlier than others and I wouldn't personally be able to go to bed if my 14 yo had her boyfriend over.

I think 10 is a sensible time.

Also thinking 10pm.

If he's in someone else's house and they are working in the morning then what time do they want him gone?

For me the walking home would be an issue but where we are cabs are really easy to get so my DS who is also 14 would never have to walk alone. Curfew wise I wouldn't really mind whatever in the holidays. General would choose to come home 10/1030 if just at a friend's.

Ok so I was definitely a bit early!! I said 8pm 😬 (he didn't argue). Not because he needs to go to bed or anything like that, but because of the walk home. It's really not far enough for a cab so can't do that if I can't pick him up.

I agree with PP about being considerate of GF parents. Sometime GF is here till 10ish and it feels late to me as I like to go to bed about 10!!

I’d have said 8 if walking alone. 10 if I’m picking up and can be bothered to go out that late. My ds is 14 too.

I would probably be the same re walk home, that would definitely be my worry. We have never really had strict curfews from 14 upwards but have always said no hanging round doing nothing or walking home alone in the dark.

I’d go around 9pm. Plus or minus an hour, depending on the actual situation.

I would probably have said the same as you OP.