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Bully neighbour

12 replies

Putmetobed · 26/10/2022 17:39

I moved into a new house with a troubled neighbour, no warning from previous tenant who I was ‘friends’ with.
The neighbour lives alone, doesn’t have any visitors, never goes out, has one very noisy young visitor who is dropped off almost daily and a few loud aggressive dogs chained in the garden.
Since I moved in I’ve had nothing but aggression and bullying. I tried to be nice when I moved in but I was blanked by her. Almost immediately she began to slam doors and hammer walls during the night. At first I thought perhaps it’s temporary so I ignored it, but after a month of this daily I realised it was malicious with the intention of waking us, which it did.
she would walk slowly past our kitchen window and look through giving me ‘evil looks’ and encourage her dogs to bark at us. The young visitor (I presume grandchild but there doesn’t appear to be any relative visitors) screams and cries the entire time they are there, lots of running around and banging toys and balls on the wall.
eventually I had enough and spoke to someone at the council noise department who took it very seriously. They wrote her a letter and within days she was banging on my door saying I was telling lies and it’s the central heating and weather causing the noise. I was very shocked by the denial of what she had been doing and how aggressive she was, I chose to leave it there as I was early stages of pregnancy at the time and didn’t want to risk my baby coming to harm.
Since then she has ramped up the noise to the point where all I can do is cry in defeat. The council accepted her explanation of central heating and wouldn’t come out to test it due to funding. Im now suffering it in silence. I dread coming home and never sleep.
I’ve found dog poo in my garden (I don’t have a dog since my boy passed away last year), smashed mugs and glasses in the grass, hammering for 3 hours from 4am every night and scratches on my car.
I try not to retaliate as I know it makes things worse, but after months of this I’ve snapped and began doing it back ie slamming doors and hammering at anti social hours. Probably not the best way to deal with it, but I’m full of anxiety and scared stress will damage my baby. It doesn’t affect my partner as he’s out until late for work and sleeps through anything, but I’m at the end of my tether now. I can’t prove anything I’m saying so another report will make things worse and there’s nothing serious enough to report to the police.
Ive resorted to wearing noise cancelling headphones whenever I’m home so I feel like a prisoner. Sometimes I have the TV at max volume to drown her out which helps, but isn’t fair long term to my nice neighbours the other side who I have spoken to about this and they sympathise.
i know nobody here can help me so it is more of a rant, but I’m exhausted, drained and upset. Our plan is to move house but we can’t afford to right now so we are stuck here for at least another year. I’m scared to have my baby here and ruin all the important first memories with him. I just don’t know what to do to make it more bearable right now and would really appreciate some kind helpful words.

OP posts:
BlueRidge · 26/10/2022 17:49

Have you bought this house or are you renting? You mentioned a previous tenant.
If it's a rental then, money or not, you must move. Your health (and possibly your baby's) is being wrecked by the stress she is causing. You cannot rescue this situation as she sounds as though she has some serious mental issues.

InsanityOf2020 · 26/10/2022 17:51

Can yoi start logging it and recording it. Doing the same thing back is naver a good plan as she will then have stuff against you, but if you start logging and recording where possible you will have evidence for the council. Keep complaining too, make sure the council know its not radiators. Sorry I cant solve it for you but hopefully its helpful advise.

Mummy2mybear · 26/10/2022 17:57

Put up cctv get evidence of the car damage. Record all the noise and anything else. What a horrible woman she sounds completely insane.

ListeningButNotHearing · 26/10/2022 18:38

I really sympathise - she sounds disgusting.

What the others have said above. Keep getting onto the council, until they start taking you seriously, even if this is 2 or 3 times a week. Go to the council if necessary. Lay it on (not that you have to), but make sure they know everything and how it's causing you serious problems, particularly while you are pregnant.

You can't of course, but it would be great to give her her just deserts, and get the loudest head banging music and play it for 24 hours, while you're away. The bully needs a taste of her own medicine.

Brigante9 · 26/10/2022 18:43

Council or private renting? Do you know if she owns/rents? It’s £3 to check ownership on the land registry, you could contact her landlord, she is definitely in breach of a tenancy agreement if she rents.

bakebeans · 26/10/2022 22:13

Ring door device, cameras .record a diary. Record the hammering and keep submitting your evidence. She won't get away with it for ever

WHEREEL · 26/10/2022 22:20

Was she like this before? If not, could something have happened that causing this behaviour such as a MH crisis? If this is a repeat, standing up to her might be the best option. My sister lived above a women like this. She snapped, told her exactly what she thought of her and that she wasn’t moving. This was a number of years ago and as the women understood her silly games weren’t going to work she stopped and my sister she has lived peacefully in the flat ever since.

Suzi888 · 27/10/2022 00:34

Keep a log, record and take photos and approach the council again. They’ll write to and possibly visit your neighbour. They may need to set up their own recording equipment in your home.

If the council will not take you seriously approach your M.P, make an official complaint to the Council, copy in the council’s leader. Keep everything factual, polite and to the point.

Putmetobed · 27/10/2022 09:29

Thanks everyone.
It’s housing association and so is hers. I have made recordings of the noise but because I have been reacting and doing it back I don’t think I will get the support of the council this time. Just this morning I had an orange thrown at my bedroom window at 6am so I threw it back and put the radio on very loudly. I know it becomes tit for tat but why does she deserve peace and a safe home while I live in fear and never have silence. It could have been a rock that smashed my window and I worry next time it may, especially when the baby arrives.

OP posts:
SoTired12 · 11/05/2023 15:39

Obviously you can't do nothing now so wait until your baby has been born and go round and confront the cow. I wouldn't be able to stop myself. Some people won't stop until you play them at their own game.

SoTired12 · 11/05/2023 15:40

SoTired12 · 11/05/2023 15:39

Obviously you can't do nothing now so wait until your baby has been born and go round and confront the cow. I wouldn't be able to stop myself. Some people won't stop until you play them at their own game.

So sorry 😅 just realised this is an old thread. Hope you sorted it anyway.

CharChar91 · 06/07/2023 14:44

As difficult as it is, stop retaliating and record everything. Put cameras front and back (you can pick them up fairly cheaply) and record any noise in the night which wakes you up. Ask the landlord/housing association to look at the central heating as it shouldn't be so loud it's waking you. Ask for the report/findings which you can pass on to the council. I'd make a log and report each incident with evidence in an email following every incident. Keep it factual not emotional.

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