Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Big/Milestone birthdays help!

3 replies

BigBirthdayHelp · 26/10/2022 15:17

I’ve name-changed for this as quite a few of my friends are on MN.

Next year holds big birthdays for me and quite a few of my closest friends, some in the same friendship groups and others not, some live near me and others don’t.

A few have recently mentioned wanting to go away or do something special for their birthdays, either in small friendship groups or individually. Everyone’s financial situations are different but most are significantly better off than me and have no issue with multiple trips away/abroad for these birthdays, even to celebrate different birthdays within the same friendship groups. Realistically this is £200-400 a pop with accommodation, food, drinks, travel plus any activities. Gifts on top. I simply can’t afford it and it’s causing me quite a bit of anxiety already.

Some friends have started putting feelers out for birthday plans (mine and theirs) and I’m feeling the pressure to commit to them now. My birthday in January is the first of all of them and I’m not that bothered about doing anything but I wonder if that actually comes from a place of feeling guilty inviting them to something even low key for me but then not being able to reciprocate for them. I also hate imposing on people. I love them all and would love to celebrate this thing that means a lot to them, but I can maybe only stretch to one trip/big activity next year and don't know how to prioritise which one.

Can I just hibernate for the year?! Seriously though, any advice on how to navigate this without disappointing anyone, or other ways I could celebrate with them on a budget outside of their big plans?

I should have started saving a little bit years ago, good old hindsight eh!

OP posts:
KindergartenKop · 26/10/2022 15:21

I would be honest that it's very expensive! Maybe suggest one joint event for your main friendship group?

BigBirthdayHelp · 26/10/2022 17:49

@KindergartenKop Thank you, unfortunately I don't think I could pick between my main friendship group and separate but very close friends - I value them all so much and they've all been in my life a long time. I know that's not very helpful!

It feels like all or nothing is the fairest way, and "all" isn't feasible so I should get them each a nice gift in place of joining their big plans.

OP posts:
ElbowsandArses · 26/10/2022 17:54

Be really straight and say you can’t afford to go away. We combined a weekend away in the UK with a few of us, subsidised the unemployed single mum and then did lots of walking/free things and ate in the Airbnb. In my view not having the money to do all the things is just real life and not something to be ashamed of.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page