The single most thing DP and I argue about is parenting, mainly our elder DC (just turned 7). We have another who is 3.5.
I strongly suspect elder DC is neurodiverse, DP semi agrees (we both think that DP himself has inattentive ADHD and DS is very very similar). His behaviour takes a downward turn if you are too harsh with him, I really try and be firm but whilst acknowledging why he's unhappy etc. DP can be great at this, better than me sometimes, but then often gets into a cycle of constantly telling DS off - sometimes (IMO) for things that he really should just let go, like elbows on the table, being too noisy in the house, being over excited in the house, not listening.
The not listening I get is infuriating, DS goes through better phases but also bad phases where he is avoiding doing what he's been asked, but DP doesn't help himself by asking DS to do something without making sure he has his attention, and then not following up for 10 minutes, then realising he hasn't done what he's been asked and getting really snappy.
I appreciate that they are probably both neurodiverse and it's difficult.
But it's so frustrating as we don't argue about much else, but this feels like it gets into such a negative cycle and creates an atmosphere in the house.