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Should I just let it go ??

8 replies

Birdie002 · 25/10/2022 22:50

I live in a pretty small apartment with my partner & 2 small kids and we only have a 2 bed one being a normal double and the second being a box room as you can imagine storage is not exactly something we have.

SIL comes over once in a while but keeps leaving her shit in my house like shoes and clothes and her kids clothes and I've tried to politely say a few times can you please not leave things because I don't have the space. She didn't really like that and went and told DH and he comes out with put it in my wardrobe then just to piss me off.

She came over again and left a bunch of stuff in the dirty laundry for me to wash and then was like I swear I came with more clothes but I'm sure I fit everything and if I haven't just save it for me. I just feel like throwing it in the bin, I am sick of it!

I also think my DH should respect my boundaries in the house as he's not the one who does any of the cleaning or organising of anything. She is also the type to do this but 10x in her parents house.

Am I fair to say this is not your parents house and you can't just leave your stuff because you can't be bothered to carry it back with you. Oh and she also goes through my DH wardrobe without asking and just wears his stuff and I really don't like it, again I feel it's crossing boundaries but if I say anything it's like she wants to do it more. It's almost like she thinks she's proving a point.

My husband is a grown man and there's no reason his sister should be going through his shit in my home and leaving her shit for me to clean and store as she pleases.

OP posts:
Tsort · 25/10/2022 22:53

Why would you just put up with it? Just tell her ‘no’. Have you spoken to your DH about this? Why on Earth are you doing her laundry? What is even going on here?

Birdie002 · 25/10/2022 22:56

Tsort · 25/10/2022 22:53

Why would you just put up with it? Just tell her ‘no’. Have you spoken to your DH about this? Why on Earth are you doing her laundry? What is even going on here?

I have in the nicest way possible said no but they made me feel so rude and awkward for doing that. They think because she has a kid I should treat her and her kid as if they are my responsibility. I feel more annoyed that my husband doesn't seem to see the issue. When I go over to theirs, I always wash my own stuff and mine and my kids mess and even change the bedsheets I slept on. I must clearly be a dickhead

OP posts:
Tsort · 25/10/2022 23:01

Birdie002 · 25/10/2022 22:56

I have in the nicest way possible said no but they made me feel so rude and awkward for doing that. They think because she has a kid I should treat her and her kid as if they are my responsibility. I feel more annoyed that my husband doesn't seem to see the issue. When I go over to theirs, I always wash my own stuff and mine and my kids mess and even change the bedsheets I slept on. I must clearly be a dickhead

Why ‘in the nicest way possible’? This is bizarre. People don’t get to just leave their shit at your house. Stop being a doormat.

Who is ‘they’? And why are SIL and her DC your responsibility according to them? Why are you doing this woman’s laundry?

So, you’ve talked to your DH about this? And he said what, exactly? ‘We are going to store my sister’s stuff and you should do her laundry?’ Really? Again, why?

OP, what you’re describing is a really strange situation and I’m having genuine difficulty understanding both what’s going on and why you’re accepting it.

CheezePleeze · 25/10/2022 23:02

1.) Bag up everything she leaves (clean or dirty) and leave it by the door.

2.) Stop letting your 'D'H treat you like a skivvy. You shouldn't be the one doing all the cleaning and organising. You're supposed to be a team.

BankseyVest · 25/10/2022 23:06

CheezePleeze · 25/10/2022 23:02

1.) Bag up everything she leaves (clean or dirty) and leave it by the door.

2.) Stop letting your 'D'H treat you like a skivvy. You shouldn't be the one doing all the cleaning and organising. You're supposed to be a team.

This in spades

Bag up whatever she leave, DO NOT WASH ANYTHING.

When she realises, and complains tell her your dh said he'd happily do it for her

Birdie002 · 25/10/2022 23:06

I just don't know how to be so blunt and say stop leaving your shit in my house. Tbh for a long time she would leave her plate after eating exactly where she finished and would leave my house in a total mess. I do make comments here and there because e I genuinely get so tired and annoyed and I know makes them feel uncomfortable. I really can't understand it myself. I have already put all the stuff in a bag and can only leave it under the bed for now as I genuinely don't have the space.

I don't know how people don't feel uncomfortable doing stuff like this at other peoples homes.

OP posts:
Tsort · 25/10/2022 23:11

Why are you allowing this to happen, though? You’re just sitting there and being shat on? WTF?

I just don't know how to be so blunt and say stop leaving your shit in my house. Tbh for a long time she would leave her plate after eating exactly where she finished and would leave my house in a total mess

Seriously?!

CourtneeLuv · 25/10/2022 23:14

I wouldn't let that skank back in my house.

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