I am interested to hear from women who have left their relationships in circumstances which meant a significant drop in living standards and security, as well as logistical upheaval for themselves and their children.
How, if at all, were you able to mitigate the impact on your children of such a move? How has it worked out? Any unforeseen hardships, or even benefits, I should consider?
For context:
I am thinking of leaving DP of 20 years, the father of our 2 DC (pre/teen). I am higher earner by a whisker, both public service professionals, late 40s) on very modest salaries.
He insists on a 50/50 split of assets (savings and sale of small 3-bed semi, both would walk away with approx £180k).
Neither of us can buy the other out.
Neither will be able to buy anywhere in a 10 mile radius of our area, not even somewhere tiny with a mortgage.
Options are complete relocation or financial insecurity in private rented.
I feel reluctant to completely relocate out of county / area on account of my job (education, no option to WFH remotely), DC schools and friends, SEN support and caring responsibilities for aging parents.
Private rented would be financially crippling; I would need to spend the money from the sale of the house and savings on rent, thus scuppering any hope of ever buying again. Yet I think this is the only option and I'm gutted that everything I've worked for is going to go down the pan.
We already live pretty frugally, so it's not as if the DC are used to a life of abundance; but they know we can pay our bills and buy essentials. I'm loathed to take this basic security away from them. I know it's the right thing to do, but feel so unreasonable for thinking of uprooting us all. There's no DV, but DP is so hard to live with: hot and cold and often grumpy, bossy and blaming. Tried all avenues to work on relationship, no dice.
Anyone up for sharing honest (and hopefully encouraging) accounts of post-LTB when financial outlook is bleak?