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Gallows humour only…

10 replies

MuchuseasaChocolateTeapot · 24/10/2022 18:25

I have to preface this by saying my eldest dog (the bestest boy who has ever lived) is very unwell and is fading quickly. My family and I are devastated but are doing our best to keep him going while he’s not in too much discomfort. This has led to a difficult conversation about what we are going to do when his time comes. We have decided we can’t bear for him to be taken away to be cremated so have ordered him a beautiful wicker coffin which we will stow until the terrible day it is needed (some may be appalled by this but it’s taken 5 days to come and…well you get the picture).

it was delivered today. Lovely Eastern European driver who has been before, we have nice chats but English is not his first language so it’s a pretty basic conversation. He retrieved this enormous box from the back of the van which is covered in tape saying fragile. For reasons best known to the suppliers they have stuck a sheet of paper on the outside and in bold type written “caution pet coffin inside, please be careful” and highlighted it. He read this slowly out loud while passing it over the gate.

Driver: “ caution…pet…coffin…inside, please be careful” he looked at me stunned
Me (after reassuring him it was not occupied at the moment). “Yes it’s very sad but we thought we ought to be prepared”
Driver: “for him?” And looked horrified at my younger dog who was jumping up the gate with a tennis ball in his mouth wanting to play.
Me: (laughing trilly) “No! For my other dog, the older, bigger one”
Driver: “Oh yes, I remember him, I am sorry, he has passed?”
Me: “No”
Driver: “……”
Me: “…..”
Me (after uncomfortable pause) “it’s just that he’s very Ill and we want to bury him in something lovely”
Driver: “it’s good to be ummm…prepared?”
Me: “err yes, that’s what we thought”

Driver exited pretty sharpish, still looking a bit aghast. I stood there looking at this huge box feeling devastated. Called my husband out to move the box (don’t worry our old dog didn’t see it). I pointed out the note stuck to the side of the box and told him what had happened with the delivery driver and we both stood solemnly for a moment and then pissed ourselves laughing. Lightened the mood somewhat over a really sad time.

OP posts:
roarfeckingroarr · 24/10/2022 20:35

Genuinely chuckled.

Sorry about your boy OP

inigomontoyahwillcox · 24/10/2022 20:39

Oh that did make me laugh - can imagine the look on the delivery guy's face 😁

Sorry to hear that your old boy is fading - it sounds as though you love him dearly, he must have had a wonderful life with you.

OakleyStreetisnotinChelsea · 24/10/2022 20:41

I'm so sorry about your boy. I'm sure he feels all the love x

Humour around death always reminds me of dd when my grandmother died. She must have been around 3 years old. She wanted to know what dying meant and where my gran was and so on. I tried to explain that her body was still in the hospital but the special spark that made her my gran was gone. Dd looked at me, perfectly seriously and said "but if her body is in the hospital, where is her head?"

Given that I was very pregnant, dressed and ready to go for the funeral and dh in all his attempts to look after me had made tomato soup for lunch when I hate tomato soup thereby reducing me to more tears or really was a very welcome funny moment.

therubbiliser · 24/10/2022 20:48

Sorry about your dog OP. I don’t have gallows humour but I do have a crucifixion one of that is any use.

When my young cousin was doing the stations of the cross at Easter (Catholic thing) up a steep hill stopping every so often for the station and endless prayers. She moaned the entire way and her Mum pulled her up and said well Jesus had to do all of this walking while carrying his cross. My cousin replied “well at least he didn’t have to come back down again”. 😇😇 no spot in heaven for her.

Lagattolove · 24/10/2022 20:52

Oh bless but that made me laugh. It’s moments like that along with a million others that will keep his memory alive… when it’s time. ❤️

dudsville · 24/10/2022 20:54

I can get on board with that OP. I adopted a mother and daughter pair of dogs. The mother died early on, an undiagnosed cancer. We were devastated. We had her cremated and put her ashes in a lunch box tin that we found online. They had a 241 offer. Surviving daughter pup often naps near "her mother" and her own future home, a robot lunch box tin.

I hope you have some nice cuddles lined up and that your pup has some great treats to enjoy in the coming days.

RandomMess · 24/10/2022 20:57
Flowers

Gallows humour is so needed at these times!

Friend took months to die of alcoholism liver/kidney failure. She loathed her mother. In one of her few lucid moments said to her mother "oh do fuck off".

Mother couldn't believe/didn't here, meanwhile everyone else smirked, friend really did get the last laugh 💕

BurnerName101 · 24/10/2022 21:08

sometimes a bit of black humour is the only way..

i also love that you took care not to let your poor old dog see said item. Reminds me when our old cat was starting to get unwell with kidney problems. I took him to the vets for a checkup to see how he was responding to the meds. It wasn’t clear at first if they were working, so the vet went through the possibilities — the different things we could try… and then gently covered my cats ears to say, with a most wonderful compassionate bedside manner ‘and if that doesn’t work we may have to let him go before he starts to suffer‘

well I got a lovely fit of the giggles at how she instinctively covered the cats ears so he couldn’t overhear.

Twinsmummy1812 · 24/10/2022 23:18

These stories are excellent and really made me smile thank you. My boy has the most beautiful soul and I am hoping that he just slips away in his sleep but I feel like I’ve been punched in the stomach every time I think about it. I would like you all to meet my perfect boy. Badger x

Gallows humour only…
justcallmebozo · 25/10/2022 17:47

What a good looking fella. Lovely eyes. You could lose yourself gazing into eyes like his, thinking of all the good stuff. And even though it hurts like hell for a while, that'll never never outweigh all the years of joy you've had with him.

I was going to post about a lady who dug her dogs grave 4 months before he died. Always cheers me up when I think of it. I'll come back and post it later.

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