Terrified of smear test

[Lady929]

For context I have vaginismus. Sex/internal examinations are extremely painful. Opted for an elective C section due to this.

My smear test is overdue (should have been January of this year) it’s playing on my mind constantly and I’m trying to build up the courage to book it but I’m so scared they won’t even be able to attempt to do it as I tense up and almost have a panic attack. I’m scared that I’ve already got cervical cancer by leaving it so long. And I don’t know what will happen if they can’t attempt to do it anyway.

is anyone in similar position? Wish I could just get it done easily without worrying.

Have you thought about the home test (from Superdrug) instead?

Why don't you ring the GP and speak to the nurse who will be doing it. You can explain what you've said here and talk about your concerns. I'm sure you won't be the first person she will have seen with your condition and worries.
From experience, a smear test is hugely important, which you clearly know. Please do call for that chat. You say it's playing on your mind and you'll end up worrying yourself silly if you don't try.

Definitely do what seasidegirl said.

I wonder if they are able to refer you elsewhere if they can't do it. I went for a procedure at the hospital and because they have a better bed and staff that do it all the time - plus one nurse who is just there to distract/relax you. It was over in no time and so different to the GP/nurse visit.

Have you had different partners since your last smear? It's a bigger risk factor that's why I ask. Same partner is less likely by far (although HPV can lay dormant so not saying don't have a smear!)
There are self testing kits too these days, maybe ask your surgery if they offer these yet

Please go for a smear. I had to cancel mine about 6 times this year as my period had started early every time it was arranged. I finally had my smear and it's been found I have hpv and low grade abnormal cells.
Explain your fears, they'll be understanding and it will be over and done with in less than 5 minutes.

Definitely do what seasidegirl83 said.

Also, ask GP if consider valium or similar might help to get you thru the appointment.

@custardbear the nurse said this to me at my last one too. If I have had the same partner and he has had no others (I know this is a risk so not a guarantee) then HPV very very very unlikely. A tiny portion are non HPV cervical cancers.

Don't panic. Speak to the GP. You won't be the first person in your situation they have dealt with.

I don’t think I would be able to do the home swab as inserting something myself scares me. Even if it’s small I think I would tense up too much.

I’ve had the same partner for around 9 years. I had my baby a few months ago so I was only technically allowed to have it since August.

I don’t know whether to maybe fill in an online form that my GP provides. It means I can explain my issues properly without getting upset over the phone and then they will probably just ring me to talk about it.

Im scared I’ve left it too late as I’m getting bad back pain recently (although kind of hoping that’s from where they messed up attempting to insert the spinal tap during C section) and my periods have got heavier since having my baby.

I haven’t even had sex since conceiving and I hadn’t done it much before that as it’s too painful so I’m scared this smear will be 100 x worse than my first one and she only just managed to do that. My last one was all normal though. They did refer me to go to gynaecology after my last one and I’m ashamed to say I never went as I was too embarrassed to go through it all and after I got my all clear back from my smear I just thought I could forget about it for a while but things are worse than ever now.

Sorry don’t know why I’m rambling, it’s not really something I’ve been able to tell anyone in real life apart from my partner so it’s nice to talk somewhere about it.

has anyone had diazepam and it’s helped?

the home swab really is tiny but if you feel you wouldn’t be able to do that, ask you GP for a one off sedative/ benzo

I’m exactly the same. My gap has said she’ll do the test herself with extra small speculum and she’s given me diazepam to take 30mins before to relax muscles. Might be worth a go?

Speak to your GP, or try speaking to someone at a GUM clinic as they might do smears in your area. Definitely ask about anti anxiety meds, a quiet room, an experienced calm nurse, more time, a swab instead of a full smear etc

I know this might sound patronising but remember, sometimes you fear the fear more than the actual thing you are worried about, ie it won't be as bad as you think it will be. Good luck

I've had vaginismus for years, I've managed to have my first smear test not long ago. I focussed on my breathing and the nurse used a small speculum. It didn't take long at all and wasn't painful.

I had an emergency c section nearly 4 months ago, mine was due in January too. I also, am terrified as I've had 2 previous HPV positive with no abnormal cells results. I'm praying tomorrow's smear will be negative. You'll be fine, you're just overthinking it like me.

I know it sounds totally counter-intuitive, OP, but do you know any understanding male GPs? My GP (now sadly retired) was male, and he'd looked after me for a long time (through 2 births, 2 miscarriages, issues with DCs' health etc over the last 20 years) and (bizarrely) he was so good at smear tests and I refused to see anyone else for them! Even though I hated them, he was far better than any female GP I'd ever had. Ok, his wife was also a midwife, but also he explained it to me as him being very aware women are nervous, and that he knew needed to be extra gentle, patient and careful. And he was. The female GPs were rough, very much into the 'We're all girls together here...' mindset, which wasn't helpful at all. I've only got 3 more smear tests left (I'm late 40s) but I'm dreading them being with some other GP, rather than my old, lovely, gentle and understanding male GP.

@AChickenClucks unfortunately the 2 male GPs at our practice are not very nice. I had one for my post partum check up and when he reminded me of my smear I told him I wanted one but was really scared due to my issues. His reply was you either have it or don’t have it and give yourself the chance to get cancer! Really not very helpful advice on a sensitive subject! I can imagine if you get the right male doctor why they would be better at them.

I know I’ve got to just be brave and get in touch but I’m terrified I’ve left it too late now and don’t want to know if I’ve got cancer and just ignore it. I know that’s not helpful or sensible but that’s how my brain works 😢

That was unprofessional of him. It's not even a test for cancer. All this fearmongering to try and get women to attend is so counterproductive.

Cervical screening is NOT a test for cancer. It is to check the health of your cervix.

Same boat OP, its not the smear I'm bothered by but the outcome of results.. first smear showed some potential abornamal cells needed to basically take a sample and send it in. It took the doctor 3 times to cut a piece of me and the pain was horrendous I was almost screaming and literally pulling myself off the chair after the second attempt failed cos I didnt want a third attempt.

Rests came back saying its benign.

I'm too scared to go back for a smear because if the results are the same and I have to go again for another piece to be taken from me I just won't go. Not putting myself through that again.

Hi everyone,

little update but I’ve finally made the step to get in touch with the doctors about booking the test. I filled in the online form that my GP has so they should hopefully phone me in the next couple of days to book an appointment.

I feel sick and worried. Tbh I don’t think they are going to be able to manage to get the speculum in but hopefully it’s a start that I can get some help somewhere. I can’t spend any more time worrying I’m dying. I already have bad health anxiety about other things 😞

hope everyone else is doing ok, I will update if I ever manage to have a successful smear.

I had a smear done by a Gynaecologist once when I was there for something else. I hate them, get worked up etc etc. She gave me the speculum thing and told me to insert it myself as slow as I needed to and then she took over. She said she does that with all her patients. It was still horrible but i felt less vunerable/exposed and more in control.
Ask for the smallest speculum and ask to insert it yourself.

They don't care how upset you are, they just want women to have it.
Do it for your baby, then it's done and you won't have to feel guilty or worry about it.