I've got issues with food. How can I lose weight?

[chanellecha]

Sorry it's a longish post

I was bulimic age 10. I had 'man legs' (I was athletic and had big calves because of it). Bulimia stopped about age 14. Luckily didn't damage my physical health

I've always been slightly overweight, until I change my eating to be 'slimmer'. I then fixate and become bulimic or lose too much weight

Now, I am in my mid 20's and I've gone from a size 10 to a size 16 in 18 months. I just keep eating food - and find everything yummy. Really enjoying eating - never use to enjoy and 'look forward' to food like I do now

Thing is, I tried losing weight when I was slimmer than this, and I ended up fixating.

What on earth do I do here? Why do I like food so much and look forward to it like this?

I have a stressful life - a disabled DC to look after so food is my only outlet (in addition to a soak in a hot bath).

What can I do? It's getting out of control. I'm very visibly overweight now

Prioritise a course of therapy with a psychologist specialised in working with people with eating disorders. Good luck.

@twinkleteas thank you

Interestingly enough I have 0 mental health issues or hang ups about myself at the moment, but I know if I start trying to change how I eat, I will become unwell mentally

I am genuinely happy.

But I can't continue the way I am as I am getting significantly fat now. The mirror is telling me to nip the food love in the bud!

So if you won't give up the food because it will give you MH issues then what do you propose?

@ThatGirlInACountrySong oh I'm not saying I won't - I'm just trying to voice aloud where it seems to go wrong and find out what I can do to help

I suppose sugar is one of the biggest issues, although most snacking is savoury...

But anyway, sugar - quick energy fix. Very hard to give up when you don't get much more than 3 or 4 hours sleep a night. Every healthy eating or weight loss book seems to put good sleep as their No.1 priority to staying on track, and I see to fall at the first hurdle

I chucked some money at my situation ( 5 stone to lose)

I've lost nearly 4 now. Best thing I did

I got saxenda. It removes your hunger, works so well

Just looked this up and it looks promising (Saxenda) but then without even having to scroll much at all, suggests cancer is a risk factor from taking it?

Isn't cancer a risk factor for every medicine?

Hi @chanellecha I understand exactly where you are. I am a bulimic in recovery. I also understand completely how you are struggling. The best thing for me is not to focus on clothing size or scales, but how I feel. I also change my snacks, not focusing on calories, but switching processed things for natural alternatives. I find this helps me to avoid my binge triggers. Are you still having any kind of input from your MH team? I have tune up sessions with a therapist when the situation runs away from me... take care of yourself xxx

My experience is a bit similar to yours in terms of timings, weight gain etc.

For me, I wasn’t recognising that I was using food to soothe myself in stressful situations and also through some periods of grief. I’m much more aware of this now and am focusing on learning alternative ways of soothing like meditation, mindfulness, and examine historic behaviour patterns etc so I can see what is driving this and address it.

Again, this is my experience but food isn’t the problem in itself. Food was the solution - what I used to distract myself until the feelings went away as they were simply too painful for me to sit with. The more directly I can face those feelings, and the more I figure out my issues, the less I feel those urges and cravings to eat.

Two years ago before I started therapy I just thought I loved food and didn’t have the willpower to stop eating it. Like you I also don’t sit there hating my body or feeling disgusted about myself - but I did know that it was negatively affecting my health and I needed to do something.

I would try to change habits slowly focusing on changing your mindset. What food is your main problem ?(mine is chocolate, cakes, cheese by the way). I try to control portions, eat less chocolate and cakes (not very successfully) not only because of weight gain but also because of waste and cost of living so I wonder if focusing on these aspects would help you.
Are you absolutely sure that it’s only food related? It’s quite a big jump in 18 months. It could be medical issue. Hope it’s not and you’ll sort it out.

I have 0 mental health issues or hang ups about myself at the moment

yeah, about that... friend lost loads of weight when her marriage imploded then gained it back (& more) when she was "happy again". That's what she says.

Actually she still has mega-mental health issues. She may be stable with them but anxiety & self-esteem problems rife from crappy parents. She does control-freak behaviours. Over-eating is just her way of papering over the cracks in her psyche.

@lljkk interesting about your friend - I am similar in a way, everything has to be ' just so' and I only feel calm if my house is very clean and everything is ticked off my to do list. I seem to thrive off constant chaos of everything and feel very odd if plates stop spinning

Sorry for anyone else who's struggling with weight. It's shit.

Not sure why food has to taste so good either! And I'm a bloody tremendous glutton

My son died 6 months ago too. So I do have a bereavement factor at play - but historically, I can't eat when I'm nervous, upset, excited? Any extreme emotions use to make me forget about food but now it seems I'm the opposite??

May I suggest Slimpod? It's a series of podcasts speaking to your subconscious, aiming to change the way you think about and approach eating. There is a great support system included also. With a free 10 day trial it's worth a try?

@chanellecha I’m so sorry to hear about your son. I hear what you’re saying about your historical eating but it also sounds like there is a strong link between emotions and food for you as you have had cycles of disordered eating in the past.

If food is a sort of coping mechanism for you it’s worth being careful about making big changes very quickly as you will need another outlet for your feelings.

And don’t forget - the food industry designs food to be addictive and not fill you for very long. It’s no accident!

Honest if you're happy and mentally well I wouldn't even consider dieting when you have had an ED in the past. I liken it to an recovered alcoholic saying I'll just have one beer and unfortunately it will quickly spiral.

Could you find a way to increase your activity a bit?

Beatestingdisorders.org.uk is supposed to be helpful for info.

I'm very glad you feel happy but with respect you would almost certainly benefit from therapy if your son died so recently and you are describing an eating disorder. Therapy is not just for people who feel sad or anxious!

You don't need to nip it in the bud! Just portion control and exercise to keep weight in check.
As soon as you deny yourself something, you'll want it even more