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How would you handle my DS11?

2 replies

Fanytheelephant · 23/10/2022 16:35

My son has just started Yr7, and things have been a bit turbulent at school so far.

It’s basically low-level poor behaviour in class like arriving late, not being focused, interrupting the teacher and chatting when he’s supposed to be working. I was asked to go into meet the year head a couple of weeks ago and the head admitted my son’s teaching group is quite disruptive and several of the kids (not my son) have ‘behavioural issues’. Since then a couple of them have been moved. But my son seems to have got off on the wrong foot. The parent app shows he is getting constant red behaviour reminders in lessons, and he’s been issued with 2 detentions already (one was for something v minor though in my view). The school seems quite zero tolerance but supportive at the same time - they’ve put him on a pupil support plan to encourage him but also make clear he needs to improve.

I’m basically getting quite anxious about it all.
Aside from school, he’s increasingly testing the boundaries at home (single parent) and can be really difficult and rude.

Last week he flatly refused to go to the childminder as he feels it’s too babyish (its not ideal but I work full time, home is a long walk and there’s nobody at home, so it has to do for now ) and we are arguing a LOT. I dread the time I see him to be honest - mornings and evenings are pretty awful and the stress is making me so upset.

Any advice?

OP posts:
MissyB1 · 23/10/2022 16:41

Sorry you are going through this, it sounds stressful. I was a single parent of two boys around that age and bloody hell it was hard work shouldering it all myself and trying to work full time!
My advice fwiw is, keep in touch with the school, back them up. Zero tolerance is good for boys of that age. But increase your communication with him. Not telling off or nagging, just chatting about his day, what went well what didn’t. Loads of praise for anything positive. Talk about your family values, be frank about how tough life can be and how education is a ticket to a better life.
Also try to get him involved in hobbies/ clubs. Something that can increase his self esteem and motivate him to aim high.

Fanytheelephant · 24/10/2022 20:40

Thanks MissyB1. Sound advice. And yes, it’s bloody hard work. I’m hoping I’m doing some of those things but it’s a good point about education being a ticket to a better life.

I need to be more patient but it’s hard when you’re knackered. I feel so irritated by the stupid behaviour tbh 😓

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