An idyllic childhood

[Patapouf]

If you had one, what made it so?

I'm sure we'd all like our DC to have one but what does it look like?

DH and I are from very different backgrounds and the things that we can pinpoint as being good in our own lives are quite different from each other. I think there are always ways to make the best of a situation and families develop their own traditions for events like birthdays and Xmas, but short of having limitless funds the things we can actually choose for our children's lives^^ are finite.

Is a rural upbringing with farmland on your doorstep better than city life with access to culturally enriching places like museums, galleries etc?

A short walk to school or a half an hour drive? Camping or beach holidays abroad? How much does it all matter? Close to cousins? Grandparents? What should be prioritised?

I can hand on heart say my childhood was idyllic. Perfect. Not a thing I would’ve changed.

I have 3 siblings; absolutely love having a big family and loved growing up in one. I remember our home being full of laughter and love. My parents were fun; we were all friends as well as parents and children and we had so much fun. Mutual respect. Fair rules. We had holidays abroad, days of long walks, days in pjs with board games. It’s hard to sum up in a post but it was the most perfect childhood. I also have cousins and we all spent so much time together. I remember a house full at Christmas and all the fun. My husband and I have done our best to re-create this and we’ve just had our 4th. My eldest brother has 4, my younger brother has 3 and my sister has sadly had a very difficult path to parenthood but we are all so glad our own children are having a very similar childhood to the one we had.

I find it interesting when there are posts on here about big families and how the children in them feel. I can never relate to the negatives.

stability and love with mentally stable loving parents who give them time and are child centred. Extended family helps give security and an added fold of love/support.

I remember laughing a lot with my parents and family. Family Christmases. Cosy Saturday nights in front of the fire watching (in hindsight) terrible TV together. Almost every family meal together at the table.
Trips to the library - lots of books!

For me I think the below are essential components of an idyllic childhood, assuming that a loving, conflict-free home is the bare minimum:

• friends or family nearby
• some green open space, whether that be city park or farm fields
• days out, could be to hunt for bugs in a local stream or places like Alton towers, the seaside etc
• holidays- I don't think the where matters but time spent as a family with the parents engaged and not working, even if it's staying at home for a week.
• celebration events, an effort to make birthdays special, magical Christmas (can be with as little as just fun music, tv specials and nice food).
• access to, and encouragement to use, crafty things and facilitating an interest in a hobby or extra curricular club like brownies

I think this mostly transcends financial limitations.

If I was rich I'd want the additional things for my DC:

Big house, big garden somewhere close to countryside but cycle distance from things to do.
Holidays to show them different cultures and languages
If DC interested, the option to pursue a creative/outdoorsy/ sporty hobby

I agree.

I’m not sure that anyone’s childhood can be totally idyllic, because nothing can be perfect all the time and trying to make it that way is setting us up for a fall.
However, a family that is respectful, supportive and loving, where there are conversations, belly laughs, books and games. Family time with extended family you have it, birthday cake and candles, Christmas stockings and cosy blankets. Snuggles and the little things, like warming coats on the radiator, buying someone’s favourite treats, and little in jokes. Creating a feeling of knowing you are loved and will be listening to. Little things like cold, frosty walks, sleeping in a tent in the garden, bedtime stories. Opportunity to a variety of experience, from the cheap free stuff like puddle jumping to days out at museums, farms, seaside and galleries. Holidays if you can, wherever they are. Being encouraged to try your best, widen your sights and aim high whilst doing what makes you happy, knowing that boundaries are there to keep you safe and well and that sometimes you can’t have everything. Hobbies that teach perseverance and problem solving, team work and challenge. Coming home to a warm house with hot food and security, knowing someone is there to support you.
I’d best stop now 😂

One thing I've noticed with my children... what suits one person doesn't suit others. My introvert child definitely needs different things to make her childhood idyllic compared to her extrovert sister. To take the example of Big Family Christmas... it would be her idea of hell. She copes with family gatherings by regularly taking herself off into a quiet room with a book, appearing for short spurts. Fortunately most of the family get it. (We call it Peopled Out) Ger ideal Christmas is just the four of us. My brother and father are the same.

We live just outside a small city (its a town really, but officially a city!). So there's lots going on, public transport for freedom... but also a quiet environment.

Love and security is what children remember. Whatever form that takes.

Yes, I agree with that. My middle dd needs lots of quiet time and her own space, and regularly takes herself off to somewhere peaceful. That’s fine 🙂