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Original poster

6 year old son is lying.

7 replies

Mrspinknails · 21/10/2022 19:51

Posting on here as no response in parenting chat. Hope this is ok.

Bit lost with this one. My 6 year old is being supported by the senco at his school. He has outbursts quite a bit, rocks loads and at school has a weighted animal to calm him. He is bright and teacher believes he needs to be assessed for adhd.
Tonight he repeated a part true story. My husband told him off for going into the garden in his white sport socks but no shoes, socks ended up filthy. I remember the incident as I was there. It was a few weeks ago. Son told me today he remembers daddy shouting at him and then daddy punched me in the back. I'm mortified . This did not happen and I told him this was not true and yes daddy told you off but didnt hit you and hasnt hit you ever (we dont believe in smacking). Hes adamant it happened. Now I'm worried sick he will repeat this at school and ss will get involved. How do I handle this. He has also lied about my 8 year old saying he hit him when he hasnt.

OP posts:
ChocChipOwl · 21/10/2022 20:53

Just laugh it off, say ' that didn't happen love!' and change the subject

The less attention you give it, the better.

superplumb · 22/10/2022 07:17

ChocChipOwl · 21/10/2022 20:53

Just laugh it off, say ' that didn't happen love!' and change the subject

The less attention you give it, the better.

I did tell him this but hes a chatter box and I'm worried he will repeat the story at school

Cantchooseaname · 22/10/2022 07:23

One thing to consider:
if he has differences with his sensory processing (you say he rocks, which could be seeking some proprioceptive/vestibular input), he may also be over sensitive to touch, so a touch to his back at a time when he was emotionally heightened anyway may have felt like something more to him. Maybe your husband put a calming hand on his back to guide him in/ reassure him/ calm him, but to your son this felt more like a punch?

SurlejTiger · 22/10/2022 07:31

if he has differences with his sensory processing (you say he rocks, which could be seeking some proprioceptive/vestibular input), he may also be over sensitive to touch, so a touch to his back at a time when he was emotionally heightened anyway may have felt like something more to him. Maybe your husband put a calming hand on his back to guide him in/ reassure him/ calm him, but to your son this felt more like a punch?

Adding on to this, my DS would have said the same at around that age (I had to question a teacher about it 😳) For him, any unexpected contact was considered a "hit". So if he saw you put your hand out to pat him on the back = fine. If he didn't see you = not fine, you hit me etc.

Newuser82 · 22/10/2022 07:36

Cantchooseaname · 22/10/2022 07:23

One thing to consider:
if he has differences with his sensory processing (you say he rocks, which could be seeking some proprioceptive/vestibular input), he may also be over sensitive to touch, so a touch to his back at a time when he was emotionally heightened anyway may have felt like something more to him. Maybe your husband put a calming hand on his back to guide him in/ reassure him/ calm him, but to your son this felt more like a punch?

Yes! My son has sensory processing disorder and the occupational therapist told us that a light touch can be very painful to him. He once shouted at one of our friends when she lightly touched his shoulder which is completely out of character for him!

Ridingladybugs · 22/10/2022 09:13

My DS has ADHD.

It did mean he would lie when younger. Also like other however he seems to experience touch and voice levels differently. So he will often say x shouted at me - when I’ve sometimes been there and don’t think others would describe the level of voice as shouting. He also is very sensitive to touch and will describe light touch as a punch.

I think some of it is also he is very sensitive to others moods and reading their mood ( his psychiatrist thinks this is because of the - to be blunt - awful way he was treated at school for many years). As such it is sometimes as if he interprets the emotion in a person and then sees any action in that context. Hard to explain but if your DH was cross and lightly touched him - my DS would latch onto the ‘cross’ emotion and see any comment or touch as aggressive.

superplumb · 24/10/2022 07:03

I'm not sure about the sensory thing ( although he lives soft things). When he gets upset over anything I'll give him a cuddle and it calms him 🤷‍♀️

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