Page 2 | Are there any jobs or things that you'd love the idea of but would be rubbish at?

Maverickess · 21/10/2022 20:11

FuckingHell123 · 21/10/2022 19:12

A novelist. A really really gripping one.

"The windscreen wipers sweeped angrily from side to side, battling each violent raindrop as the heavens continued to open on that wet, torrential evening in April 1996. Everyone had been expecting an early heatwave that bank holiday weekend and the evidence of that was clear as Tom Williams watched the young adults of the town stumble clumsily across the pebble stones in and out of the various bars on Epney Road, shielding their summer clothing with last minute umbrellas and holding jackets over their heads. He was amusingly reminiscing his own youth as Ruby Collier yanked open the door and threw herself down on the back seat with a grateful sigh. He had been a cab driver for 25 years at that point and knew every street within a 15 mile radius. So when she asked to be taken to West Street he knew exactly what route to take. She had been his eleventh passenger that night, a night that had been nothing out of the ordinary. Except it wasn't, twenty years later it still haunted him and he still hated the association. Hanging around his neck like an unwanted burden that refused to go away like a wasp buzzing around his head. Because he had been the last link in the chain. His name was forever tainted to that night. After he dropped Ruby Collier to her destination, on the outside of a disused train station, nobody ever saw her again."

Yep. Not exactly Stephen King. Fuck knows what happened to her! 🤣

I need to know the end of this now! 😂

Dancingwithumberellas · 21/10/2022 20:17

Midwife, but I can’t stand the sight of blood.

DeanStockwelll · 21/10/2022 20:18

Maverickess · 21/10/2022 18:28

I'd love to be musical or at least have some sense of natural rhythm to dance. I love listening to music and dancing and would really like to be able to express myself like that.

Unfortunately I have two left hands as well as two left feet and don't have the coordination or timing required to play an instrument or dance. I also can't carry a tune in a bucket either so singing is out.

I do have the occasional concert in the front room, where I play air guitar, drums, dance about and sing, unfortunately I think I probably look - and sound - like I'm having a fight with the invisible Man!

We should form a band , I am exactly the same . I love singing alone to songs but I could empty a room in seconds if I sung I front of people.
I would also love to play the guitar electric or acoustic and the saxophone
( not at the same time even I'm not that ambitious)

FivePotatoesHigh · 21/10/2022 20:20

I’d love to be an acrobat, maybe a trapeze artist in Cirque du Soleil.

Unfortunately I am scared of heights and have all the grace of a drunken elephant

Smokeybacon72 · 21/10/2022 20:20

Prime Minister

Yours,

Liz Truss

XenoBitch · 21/10/2022 20:21

Years ago, I went to a comic con and met a guy who plays monsters in Doctor Who. He doesn't have lines, and is always in heavy costume and prosthetics.
I would love to be able to do something like that, but I can't act or be able to deal with any sort of focus on myself. I just like the idea of dressing up and being a monster.

DeanStockwelll · 21/10/2022 20:25

FuckingHell123 · 21/10/2022 19:12

A novelist. A really really gripping one.

"The windscreen wipers sweeped angrily from side to side, battling each violent raindrop as the heavens continued to open on that wet, torrential evening in April 1996. Everyone had been expecting an early heatwave that bank holiday weekend and the evidence of that was clear as Tom Williams watched the young adults of the town stumble clumsily across the pebble stones in and out of the various bars on Epney Road, shielding their summer clothing with last minute umbrellas and holding jackets over their heads. He was amusingly reminiscing his own youth as Ruby Collier yanked open the door and threw herself down on the back seat with a grateful sigh. He had been a cab driver for 25 years at that point and knew every street within a 15 mile radius. So when she asked to be taken to West Street he knew exactly what route to take. She had been his eleventh passenger that night, a night that had been nothing out of the ordinary. Except it wasn't, twenty years later it still haunted him and he still hated the association. Hanging around his neck like an unwanted burden that refused to go away like a wasp buzzing around his head. Because he had been the last link in the chain. His name was forever tainted to that night. After he dropped Ruby Collier to her destination, on the outside of a disused train station, nobody ever saw her again."

Yep. Not exactly Stephen King. Fuck knows what happened to her! 🤣

Next chapter please!

TerrifiedandWorried · 21/10/2022 20:26

A detective. Probably in New York. Reality is, I'm terrified of guns and my feet hurt all the time.

PutYourShoesOnWereLate · 21/10/2022 20:29

I wanted to join the RAF and be a fighter pilot. Then I realised that I'm unfit, short sighted, get dreadful motion sickness, and would hate every second of being in a war zone. Also I'm not sure if they let women fly combat missions in the early 00s.

I'm not sure why I didn't go into aerospace engineering though. I got the right A Levels for it, there's no reason why I couldn't have tinkered about with the planes.

WhatICallMyUsername · 21/10/2022 22:52

I want to "dress" show homes but I have no idea if it's just the person in the show room who does it or an actual job

Or a proofreader. I am forever picking books apart with mistakes in and I did a course

GettingOrganisedNow · 21/10/2022 22:58

I've always really wanted to be a teacher, but I have severe anxiety and would be too worried about taking a panic attack in front of a class. I still sometimes pretend I'm teaching when I have to learn something new in work - I'll make notes as if I'm planning a lesson, and think about how I would explain the thing.

Homewardbound2022 · 21/10/2022 23:00

Interpreter.
But I'm very easily distracted so would miss half the dialogue and would have to make it up.

lightisnotwhite · 21/10/2022 23:13

Ballet dancer. All muscle and beautiful leg extensions.

I had bunions from childhood and no arch whatsoever ever in my feet. Also although I could do all the moves at home, a short lived ballet class in village hall demonstrated I had no ability to follow any instruction or to dance in time with others.

fleurdelee · 21/10/2022 23:19

TheSweetieJar · 21/10/2022 18:12

I'm fascinated by props even simple ones like a mug on the show of a set. I love that every item could have its own story within that character`s world even if it's never explained. I would love to be a set designer or prop maker but I'm not at all artistic.

I also love the idea of painting as a hobby but I have no talent for it and no patience. I also have nerve damage so I'd struggle to paint for any length of time.

What things do you dream about that you know aren't feasible/practical?

I know someone who does this.
I think it can be interesting but a lot of it is spreadsheets tbh

DownAtTheBodyShop · 21/10/2022 23:23

I’d love to be a set designer for musical theatre.

Some of the sets are just amazing, especially where multiple locations have to be created on one relatively small stage. I love the really engineered ones where bits of the floor and backdrop etc move and rotate.

I definitely don’t have the creativity or engineering skills for it though.

DatasCat · 21/10/2022 23:24

Journalist. I love the idea of finding a story and investigating some deep dark dirty misdeeds in a seemingly ordinary corner of suburbia. However, while I can write, I am chronically unable to handle deadlines without disabling anxiety; I am too introverted to put myself out there interviewing people and I loathe confrontation.

I have a fascination with medical matters. Now while I was good enough at O-level biology, the rest of my sciences never passed muster for the right A-levels, let alone med school. And I never had the patience to cope with ill people or the messiness of their bodily functions.

I used to daydream about winning Wimbledon in my early teens. I have a lazy eye and a complete inability to get racket to meet ball. I guess I was daydreaming about being someone else.

Simplehappyzen · 21/10/2022 23:35

Ooh love this thread. I'd love to be an air hostess, jetting around the world staying in beautiful locations. Ideally I'd work for a big airline such as VA.

In reality, I can't fly unless I've had a few stiff drinks at the airport as I'm so scared of flying plus the irregular hours would kill me off due to health conditions.

WendyWagon · 22/10/2022 18:37

Actor. Unfortunately I am too fat and in my fifties.
I can make people laugh though and write sharp retorts. Perhaps a Victoria Wood gig minus the piano ( I can saw a cello not a piano).

Kindofcrunchy · 22/10/2022 18:49

I'd have loved to be a midwife but in reality the antisocial hours would kill me. I also failed my maths gcse so I'd have to retake that and probably fail it again, therefore anything academic is out :/

CoffeeChocolateGin · 22/10/2022 22:55

Choreographer for me. I love dance and music and this would have been my dream job. I can dance but, definitely not as a professional or at choreographer level!