Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Busy and important friend

27 replies

Mitsouko67 · 21/10/2022 16:43

Messaged me last week to suggest dinner as she would be in my area. I said great. No contact since. Yesterday I messaged again to ask if she wanted me to make a reservation for us? Both messages seen. No response.

Doesn't look like night out is happening and she hasn't made contact. What would you do?

OP posts:
SilentTreatmentKiller · 21/10/2022 16:47

Honestly, fuck her off. Why is her time more important than yours? I have a friend like this and now I never invite them anywhere because they are always busy 🙄 must be so difficult being so important!

I know I sound bitter but it just gets boring after a while.

Aquamarine1029 · 21/10/2022 16:49

I could not be bothered with someone like this, and I would not wait around for a response.

declutteringmymind · 21/10/2022 16:49

Learn your lesson.

Next time she says this just say 'I'll let you know nearer the time' and make your own plans anyway. If you happen to be free, and she happens to still want to go out then great.

hattie43 · 21/10/2022 16:50

Wouldn't waste anymore time on her . If she makes contact and needs to have a very good reason to be so rude otherwise move on

pictish · 21/10/2022 16:56

One of my personal peeves is those who instigate an arrangement and who then have the audacity to blow you off last minute. So arrogant.

Original poster
Mitsouko67 · 21/10/2022 17:00

I think if she messages I'll say something like -"I didn't hear from you B&I so I made other plans."

Normally I would be easygoing and get with her programme but I don't feel like it this time. Plus I can't afford fancy nite out.

Now that I think about it she's done similar before.

I am quite annoyed and feel like letting her have it.

B&I this is really not good enough!!

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 21/10/2022 17:08

She’s not B&I she’s Rude.

Wonnle · 21/10/2022 17:17

Important only to herself probably and busy being busy

WizardOfUK · 21/10/2022 17:48

I think your response would be perfect

Original poster
Mitsouko67 · 21/10/2022 17:58

Thank you!!

OP posts:
Mary46 · 21/10/2022 18:40

Yes suit yourself op. Had a friend like this very flaky.. you could not depend on her.

Original poster
Mitsouko67 · 22/10/2022 13:05

Well she messaged yesterday to see if I was still free, mentioned she did n't know if she cd make it but would try?

This is not how I operate.

I let her know I wasnt free and said it was a pity as wd have been nice to meet up.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mitsouko67 · 22/10/2022 13:07

Just feel disappointed really by her behaviour.

OP posts:
WeAreTheHeroes · 22/10/2022 13:11

Why are you calling her big and important? What's the back story? If she's going to be in the area for work it may be that there's something work related she might not be able to get out of or which goes on later than office hours.

Svet19 · 22/10/2022 13:13

Maybe she didn't want to spend on a meal out but was expecting you to invite her over and be the host? I do get this a lot..

Original poster
Mitsouko67 · 22/10/2022 13:14

She has a big job but it is more that she thinks she is busy and important iykwim.

She is in the area for family reasons.

In my world you decide ahead of time if you are going out for dinner, not see how it works out on the night.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mitsouko67 · 22/10/2022 13:16

Money not a problem for her.

OP posts:
dontputitthere · 22/10/2022 13:20

Fuck no

You're not someone's plan b or c

Fwiw I have a very important friend with a very important job. Has board meetings and is always in demand. She still makes time for me. It's not as much as before her important job but I still feel valued because she will shift things so our schedules work.

mavismorpoth · 22/10/2022 13:21

Nothing, I'd do something else and I'd wait for her to contact me again.
These days I don't have any friends who aren't like family. I actually made a friend recently but I find friendships after a certain age don't last and it's the ones I've had for decades who stick because we make the effort over the years and understand one another.

I could not be arsed with someone like that unless I knew them inside out and could forgive shoddiness.

Original poster
Mitsouko67 · 22/10/2022 13:24

Yes that's how I feel.
Easily moved about Plan B.

Not unreasonable to expect basic courtesy. We all have lives.

Your friend sounds like a person of integrity.

I think I have tolerated this behaviour from my friend way too much over the years and am no longer inclined to do so.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mitsouko67 · 22/10/2022 13:25

This person is a good friend.

Maybe the penny will drop.

OP posts:
mondaytosunday · 22/10/2022 14:15

I can't stand when people do this, or if I instigate a meet up reply with 'I'll let you know', meaning they'll see if they have a better offer or feel like it in the day. Well that's not good enough! When I make an arrangement I stick to it bar breaking a leg or other serious event. Some people come out with the feebliest of excuses: I've had 'argument with my daughter' and 'oh my university son just showed up', 'I feel a bit under the weather'. I don't see how any of those are an excuse for not being able to go out for a couple hours if you've agreed to and someone has made a reservation.

Original poster
Mitsouko67 · 22/10/2022 22:59

Meet your sister MondaytoSunday
Not sure there are many of us left...

OP posts:
Fraaahnces · 22/10/2022 23:01

Next time leave her message on read and don’t answer. See how she likes it. I hate that shit. It’s rude. Your time is just as valuable as hers. I bet there are lots of people she responds to immediately.

Original poster
Mitsouko67 · 22/10/2022 23:08

Yes, I did wonder if she would treat other friends like that.

She rang me this evening, I messaged her back to say would be great to meet and let's book/plan ahead. I hope she's getting the hint.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread