Does everyone hate smear tests as much as me?

[procrastinatinglemon]

I know we all dislike them but I'm trying to work out if I'm being immature and over the top about this. Last one I cried because it hurt but also because I just felt so vulnerable.
I experienced some low level sexual abuse as a child and I'm not sure if this is why I hate it so much or if everyone does and I'm normal! I can't relax when they say to, it's impossible.

Has anyone in the whole world, ever relaxed, just because someone asks them to?? 🤷🏻‍♀️

I hate being told to relax. If anything, it makes me even more stiff with stress.

I don't hate the smear it's self, I hate the wait for the results!

I’ve opted out

I feel the same as you for similar reasons. If you feel able to tell the nurse they can talk to you about what will help.

My GP has prescribed me diazepam to help me get through my smear after I had a failed one but I have put off rebooking it

And you are absolutely not being immature. This is a very common problem if you have experienced trauma - and I for one get really hacked off with all the ‘it doesn’t hurt, it’s quick’ crap which isn’t true for everyone.

You could also look into the My Body Back project although it takes a long time to get an appointment.

Even if everyone else didn’t mind them, your feelings would still be valid. It’s completely understandable that you don’t like them.

I'm trying to find the courage to book one atm. Hate them. I tense up, it hurts and because of my history, I find it so hard. Reminds me of hospital after being raped.

I opted out ... am mid 60s now so don't ever have to think about them again.

The last time I had one the nurse started asking me about my sex life whilst inserting the spatula... so humiliating.

I never had one until last year when I HAD to as I needed to be checked for cancer before they could investigate my fibroid. I'd been too terrified before that but forced myself through it.
It was in the proper chair with stirrups.. and it wasn't horrific.. but I hated it.. It fucking hurts!
I keep reading about home tests? I'd investigate that.

As a survivor of CSA, I get it. The vulnerability, the awkwardness of it all.
I'm a seasoned pro at smears now, because I found a brilliant nurse.
She was fab, always put me at ease, I asked for her every year until she retired.
The best top I can give you is to put your hand into fist's then put your first under buttocks with thumb on top. This opens your cervix nicely for what needs to be done.
Just elevates things iyswim!
Try it, it does help.
Good luck x

I find it extremely uncomfortable, my cervix is "hard to reach" so it's never easy or quick. Your reaction sounds fairly average to me, and I have no difficult history/experience. And "relax" - impossible 😕. I hope you have an understanding nurse taking it? Mine is full of apologies but can't make it any better. Oh and having children seems to have made no difference/improvement!

YANBU OP. In my experience it really depends on the nurse as well. I had mine this week actually and the nurse was really lovely. Chatted to me beforehand, not about the smear itself just general chit chat. I was much more relaxed and whilst not pleasant it didn’t hurt and I felt fine afterwards.

2 smears ago I had an awful woman who complained my cervix was too high, huffed and puffed and tutted the whole way through. Complained my weight made it difficult? . It hurt and I came away feeling really violated. It took me a good 3 weeks to have sex with my DH afterwards because I just felt really strange. Just a horrible experience.

I’m obviously unusual but they just don’t really bother me.

I hate them too, many painful and unpleasant experiences. I just wanted to share a positive experience I had recently. I had been putting off booking in for my smear for ages and someone advised me to speak to the nurse before I went. I know that not all nurses would be as lovely as the one I had but she spent at least 15 minutes on the phone to me talking through my previous experiences. She then booked me in for a double appointment so I didn't feel rushed. In the appointment she was clear that if I wanted to stop at any point we could leave it and rebook another time. She helped me to feel as relaxed as I could, advised me to listen to some music on headphones if I wanted to and to be honest it was so much quicker and easier. Obviously not something you would choose to do but it was far better than my previous visits. I just hope she never leaves the practice! Her approach made all the difference.

Yes I hate them, but I would hate having the cancer more and knowing I could have saved my own life. I have to tell myself that every single time.

Don't take it personally if the nurse says relax, it means she can see you are very tense so actively take a deep breath, breathe out and try to relax every muscle from your neck, shoulders, arms all the way down to your toes. Wiggle and shake them all. If you are too tense it hurts like hell.

Also try and position your hips differently as it depends on where your cervix is. Take note of what your position is for next time. My best one is tilting my hips towards me with my fists under my butt cheeks. Nurse has perfect line of sight, I have no pain or bleeding.

I hate them but I just grit my teeth, pretend I am somewhere else while it's done and enjoy the feeling after wards that it's over with for another couple of years.

I don’t mind them, but they’re not pleasant. I would mention that you find them difficult when you book- you don’t need to go into details.
I agree being told to relax doesn’t really work! I do colour breathing for anything like this, breath in golden light and breath out a range of colours. A different one each breath. It works really well at the dentist too.

I did miss one. Or maybe two.
But then rethought I had better have them from now on.
At least it is the same lady each time. Who has always been nice.

Hate them,l have the HPV virus which l can't seem shake off which means l have to keep having them even though lm over 60 when they usually stop. But until l get a clear result have to keep having them. For extra fun l've been suffering with vaginal atrophy (dryness) and get terrible burning on passing urine . But as l'm 13 years post menopause they don't want put me on HRT even though its a hormonal (or lack of) problem.
For extra fun l was sent for a colposcopy which l was told l have sedation for on the nhs site /leaflet . This wasn't mentioned,let alone offered at the appt and the procedure was excruciating and l bled for five days after .l really thought they had seriously damaged me .The only positive is that the colposcopy results came back clear (except for the hpv virus) of anything such as cancer but l now have a UTI most likely caused by the colposcopy as it is quite common.
So in short - yes l hate them and am sick to death of them.

No I don't mind them but I've had four kids so I'm used to being examined and looked at down below. I will always attend smear tests as my kids can't afford to lose me for something I see as a minor inconvenience. It's completely understandable in your circumstances though for you to feel the way you do.

No, I also hate them. I am terrified of speculums (because of the way my first ever smear was delivered, which was abusive). I get sweaty palms the minute the invitation letter drops through the door. They give me diazepam which knocks the edge off the fear but even their most experienced staff still don't always manage to find my cervix (it's tilted) without causing so much discomfort e all give up.

There are positioning techniques to make it a bit easier and you can explain to your GP surgery and ask for a longer appointment at the end of the day so the staff have time to take time and make you comfortable.

I am sure it is definitely an ordeal for some, especially if you have had previous trauma, either generally, or with a previous smear.

I must admit, like a pp, I don't find them painful at all, just tiresome. They can never find my cervix and spend a lot of time "shuffling" about, but I am pretty relaxed about anything medical. In fact the nurses always worry about me, but I am honestly not bothered at all.

I had to have a local anaesthetic to get my coil in! I'm totally not a baby but it declined hurts and I clamped my cervix and can't stop so nothing can get in! 🙈🙈

Hate them too. So painful. Partly because I have a tilted cervix and partly because I had a horrible nurse one time and just can’t relax anymore. I’m a year overdue and just keep putting it off. I’ve never put it off before but just can’t bring myself to ring them up and book it.

You're not being immature and your feelings are totally valid.

I don't hate smears (I don't like them either) despite being a CSA survivor.
BUT my nurse is wonderful. She always makes me feel completely at ease, we were chatting about my DC during my last one! I've got a horrible feeling she's near retirement age though so I won't be seeing her much longer :(