Training to be a nurse with a young family

[Anon1115]

Hi Everyone,

Im looking into going back to university next September ,after my last baby is born in January, to do Nursing.

I just wondered if anyone has done similar, going to train after children whilst they are small. I would have to put my 3 year old and 8 month old into childcare but it is so unclear with what funding if any is available as my husband works full time and we currently get universal credit.

It is also so unclear on what happens with student funding and universal credit, especially with the new NHS training grant. It’s hard to see if it is financially viable.

Also, I’d be grateful to hear any experience of nursing with young children. As a family we think it would work best if I was able to work 3 long nights so I can be around for the children as much as possible as my husband works 8-4. I’m not even sure if this is an option in the NHS to have set shifts that is.

Thanks a lot!

☺️

As a student you have to work a variety of shifts to experience all aspects. The trusts I've worked in students don't get much of a say at all about what shifts they need.

I've done similar with small children and in all honesty I wish I waited. It's one of the most stressful things I've done but that's just my experience op. Good luck

Thanks :) @NightOwl101

Once qualified did you find that shift selection was an option? As in, could you request permanent nights? I know each trust can vary quite a lot. I’m not sure that being on a constant changing rota would work for our family.

Do you regret training completely or just the timing?

thanks again!

Don’t do it. It will break you. The shifts are hideous and no, you can’t just do nights or set shifts unless you opt to be an agency worker.

It’s very rare you can request permanent nights even when qualified. You get paid more for them, they’re popular because of child care, lots of people want them.

Your shifts tend to be decided by the e rosta. You can put in a request for flexible working but where I am peoples requests get declined all the time, even sensible ones like they can work the first two weekends of the month but not the last two.

It’s hard going OP not going to lie

im doing mine via the open university route so only part time and it’s still hard going with 3 children and all of mine are at school, the placements are probably the hardest part trying to sort care out for them around my shifts as very little family help but thankfully my placements have been fairly accommodating. Could OU route be an option for you? You need to work in NHS for a whilst first though in a healthcare assistant role

And as a student you probably won’t even get to pick your hospital.

From what I’ve read it seems that a lot of mums do find it hard.

it’s so difficult starting again after having children isn’t it :( I was made redundant after my first and have had further children since. Trying to find a worthwhile career that can actually help support our family seems impossible. I’m aware that we did chose that have our children so am no way complaining.

I understand that training would be as it comes in terms of placements etc I was just hoping that once qualified it becomes a little more family friendly. From the nurses that we’ve spoken to it is for them and their family however they have been nurses for 20 years or so.

thanks everyone!

I was planning to start my nursing training in two years, when my youngest starts high school. For us, it would be impossible for me to start any earlier as we don't have family to help with childcare and dh's work hours are inflexible. What I've done is started a job as a HCA so even though I'm not nursing, I'm developing those caring skills and getting experience in a hospital setting. I do twilight shifts and a long day on a Sunday (nearly double pay!) so it fits in really well with childcare. Would something like that be an option, at least until your kids are a bit older?

Honestly OP think very long and very hard about this. Why do you want to be a nurse? Have you recent experience in the area you want to go into? As a student, expect to be in Uni 9-5 several days / weeks and on placements others. Your shifts will usually be 7.30-8 or thereabouts days, nights, weekends mix. The chances of getting permanent nights are minuscule and the chances of finishing shift on time even less. I've been nursing for twenty years and am halfway through retraining to an entirely different career. I am broken, my family is broken, my colleagues are broken.

Hello!

I’m currently a first year student with an 11 month old :) I’m due out on my first placement in January so I can keep you up to date with that, but so far with lectures I’ve found my university have been amazing and acknowledge that the majority of us have families/jobs and are extremely flexible.

I received UC prior to starting and since then I’ve received £4k student maintenance, (you may get extra from student finance to put towards childcare- I’m in the extremely fortunate position that my parents take care of my little one so I don’t need that one) I received NHS bursary of 5k and a further 2k on top which you can apply for if you have children (this is annually) the student maintenance loan and the 5k bursary are seen as income by UC so they remove this from your entitlement but the 2k child maintenance bursary should not come out of your universal credit and there are specialists who work at the RCN who can help with this is UC try and take it off your entitlement (they’ve had tribunals and all sorts to ensure this doesn’t happen but some UC workers don’t understand it very well and still try to remove the extra 2k from you)

My theory uni hours have been great so far and surprisingly flexible around the little one as a lot is still online at the moment lecture wise (check with your chosen uni as they may be different).

I’m not naive to the world of healthcare either as I’m 32 and worked in hospitals the majority of my working life, so I know the stress will up when I go on placement and when I qualify but I just wanted to give you a bit more of a positive outlook, as I’m really enjoying it at the moment and I’m feeling extremely proud of myself for doing it.

Im actually looking to come off UC as soon as possible and am going through the process at the moment. If I am actually entitled to anything else, I will keep you posted :)

Good luck with what you decide x

Also I want to add, university depending, there are options to pick where you want to go on placement. I’m with the Uni of Chester but on a campus in a different town. Some of my classmates live over the border in Wales and have been told they will most likely be out in the area local to them so all hope is not lost there.
i do think it depends where you go to uni and I think it’s apparent that they are desperate for nurses to train and qualify and they will try and do everything they can to help you achieve that.

I actually have done 2 years of my nurse training previously, starting in 2010, and I can tell you now that the difference in the training in Just 12 years is absolutely massive

I’m a mental health nurse student with 2 children. I’m actually finding it ok to be honest. I’m in uni one day a week and also managing to work my 16 hours part time job around it all too. Placements start in January but you can make up hours after if you need to take days off etc.
funding wise I get the full maintenance loan, an 8k bursary and the child care grant which pays 85% of my childcare fees.

If you are doing this for a family life. Don't.

It's a horrible profession.

I've been in the NHS 10 years and it's gone soooo downhill. I have two young children and am part time for childcare as it's so difficult. I miss Christmas with them, Easter. Summer holidays are always difficult to get some time off as everyone wants it. Night shifts are harder to come by due to getting paid that little extra and the fact everyone with children wants them.

Then let's get on to the job. Risking a professional registration every shift because you are overworked, understaffed. When you have a deteriorating patient who needs your care, but there are no other staff and a patient with dementia is currently walking around the bay shouting and swearing.
Relatives who either call 10 times a day to ask the same questions, or multiple relatives calling for the same patient wasting our time with the same questions as each other, as they don't communicate. Being shouted at and belittled by relatives, patients, management within the hospital.
Bed manager wants you to do a bed move that you're not happy with? Your fault. Relative not happy with patient being move. Your fault. Patient is NBM for the day but due to emergencies their procedure gets cancelled? Your fault.
You spend a shift focusing on patient care and spending time with all your patients. You've cleaned a patient and go to assist another, in the meantime the patient you guy cleaned has been incontinent everywhere, is confused and moving everything around and their relative arrives and is unhappy as they've 'clearly been left for hours'. - that's another complaint in to the hospital.

Very broad examples of what is a very complex profession. It's not for those wanting an easy life for wrap around childcare.

I just want to echo the more positive responses as well.

I did my training as a single parent. You need rock solid childcare and time to do assignments but all in all it wasn’t as hard as i thought. The longest placement we had was 8 weeks. Some wards were more flexible than others but on the whole I had my shifts all given to me before I started on the placement so I could
plan child care. You will follow the shift pattern of your assessor but I think you only have to spend 40% of your time ( or something like that) with them. I was in uni between 3-5 days a week but the days I was off I spent 9-5 doing work.

it was hard don’t get me wrong and some days it all falls to pieces but the 3 years fly by and it is hands down the best thing ive ever done.

I was only entitled to about £180 of UC but the bursaries etc really helped. I now work as a community staff nurse 4 days a week, it’s really flexible but some girls in my course just joined the bank and for 2 x nights a week in different wards.

And my day is nothing like a ward based nurses. We have very stressful, horrible days and I’ve cried on my way home from work. We are as short staffed as any NHS department but the beauty of the community is you only have 1 patient at a time to care for.

I had my 2nd DC at the end of first year, took a year out on maternity and then finished the course. I was very fortunate in that DH had a flexible job and could support when I was on placements.

I think placements now are much more easy going about what shifts you work, although some nights will still be required. They changed the mentor system a few years ago and so you aren't tied to the shifts your mentor works anymore.

As a parent you should still be able to claim universal credit alongside student loans but they do consider some of it as income (pretty sure the bursary / parent support isn't counted. I think there is an up to 85% childcare allowance too.) Its probably worth discussing with uni to get the exact details.

There are still some jobs that will offer permanent nights (care homes still do a fair bit I think) although it's not super common.

Good luck whatever you decide!

I’ve worked in the NHS for 24hr (either part time whilst studying or full time). I retrained as a nurse when my eldest was 3. At that point my parents were still alive and I was a single parent living with them. I was lucky enough that they were an absolute rock in helping with childcare for when I was on lectures/placements/shifts. Ok, my eldest was in nursery, but nursery hours were 7:30-6:30 and my shift times were 7-8. Placements and lectures were 30miles away, with placements having similar start/finish times to my normal shifts at local hospital. Academically, it was easier than my first degree (biomedical sciences). But I had more to juggle during the training.

I work on an acute ward now. same place since I qualified. Over the past 3yrs, I’ve had to do flexible working (FT but around my youngest child’s wraparound care) because H became XH, and was also not fit to look after DC. This hasn’t stopped me moving up to a B6. I realise that my set up (fixed days and flexible start/finish times) is rare as hen’s teeth, but my matron is happy with how it works for the ward. I’m grateful everyday that the ward was willing to even trial this, let alone allow it to carry on forward. Once my youngest is in secondary school, I can go back to shifts. So, in a way, it’s also good for them as they know that I’ll be there for life (I do actually love where I work)…or for as long as they want me there!

it is great that you want to do your nurse training! Be warned though that you do need rock solid child care in place (along with some back up plans). Also, be aware that this is a job like no other. You’ll meet a wide variety of people and it’s never boring. I look after some of the sickest/most critically ill people outside of an ITU (we are like an HDU), and the staffing shortages can make things punishing. But I work with the best team ever, I love them dearly and have never regretted working here. Good luck with your training!!

It depends on trust to trust. My trust were desperate for nightstaff but not my ward so I moved to another to get nights but you could also just bank but then that has its own pros and cons.

I regret the timing massively. It was more stressful then it needed to be. It was harder work trying to balance enough time to my course and all the work aswell as keep on top of it at home too.

The trust I worked in were terrible with flex working. I loved my nursing career pre kids but afterwards it was just a logistical nightmare if I’m honest. The shifts are so long and tiring. I would really think long and hard about how you want to spend your time at such a special age. You really can’t get those years back with your little ones and the nhs is a hugely stressful place to be atm. Once qualified you will be expected to work weekends/school holidays/bank holidays and Christmas etc.

Nursing is the best job in the world but it’s difficult to fit around family life. Even if you have a 9-5 job it can be difficult to leave on time if there’s an emergency/you’ve just given bad news etc. Very stressful when you need to leave for nursery pick up.

Im not ward based so no idea about nights but I’d be surprised if they gave a newly qualified nurse a night shift job. Staffing is often fewer numbers and you are unlikely to get the support you need as a new nurse.

I started training as a Midwife when my son was 11 weeks old (had been applying for 5 years at that point and was finally offered a place so couldn't turn it down!). My Mum was out of work at the time so was an absolute star having him for me along with my 2 year old. Their Dad had them when I did night shifts. My 3rd son was born halfway into 3rd year so I took a year out and returned to finish when he was 9 months old.
It was hard going, placements work in such a way that you have to work when your mentor does, night shifts are expected, as are early, late and twilight shifts. I was doing 14.5 hour shifts at one point alongside assignments and a very young baby (twice). It was exhausting. I was leaving the house at 6.30 and getting home after 9pm quite often. I barely saw my children.
Our uni worked in blocks. So 6 weeks of lectures then 6-8 weeks of placements and repeat. The written workload is heavy going, OSCE's, placement assessments etc.
Once I qualified my partner kindly upped and left. Childcare is non existent for shiftworkers. Nobody is willing to cover over nights or 14 hr shifts.
My Mum got herself a job and I knew I couldn't rely on her forever, ex was so wrapped up in his new gf and new life he appeared for an hour when he felt like it.
I had to leave after working so hard and missing my babies early years. Looking back I think I had PND due to stress and the bond with my son who my Mum had for the first 3 years of his life is nowhere near as strong as with my other sons even though I love him the exact same....it ruined it.
Preceptorships take 18months to 2 years upon qualification and you have to rotate to all areas working all shifts. Then the only trusts near me took on a caseload model which meant complete flexibility on where and when you worked, ie no permanent anything, clinics, wards, nights, days. Completely incompatible with family life.
I've recently retrained. I regret it so much.

Just to add. The degree itself wasn't a waste of time. Once you have a degree you have a degree. My registration has now lapsed so I would have to do an 18 month refresher at uni to go back (which I wouldn't) but the degree is a qualification with interchangeable skills. I've retrained in teaching and now teach Health and Social Care to new potential allied health students which I couldn't have done without vocational experience so it has been beneficial. Except now I work school hours and term time which fits perfect around family life as my college is flexible and family friendly.

The main issue is going to be getting childcare that covers weekends, nights, early starts and late finishes. Nurseries near my hospital open at 6.30. But they all close at 6. Which is an issue if you are on a 12 hour shifts. You may get a bit of flexibility with shifts. But will be expected to work the majority of your mentors shifts.

Once qualified it's tricky to request set shifts these days. It used to be allowed, but not so much any more.

Ignore the negativity! It's the best job. Especially in paediatrics!