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How should dd deal with this

5 replies

lugeforlife · 19/10/2022 23:37

She is almost 13 in year 8. She's quite quirky and whilst she has friends she's always struggled a bit to really connect. She's had a lot of churn/been in the edge of the group etc. she also suffers from anxiety and is a huge over thinker.

Since last year she has been friends with another girl. It's been quite up and down but basically this is her 'best friend'. This girl is really full on. She's loud and intense and dominating but also quite kind and protective.

Dd told me today that she's really gone off this girl and finds her too much. She wants to drop the friendship. She also said this girl keeps trying to hold her hand and it makes her really uncomfortable.

We have agreed that next time she tries to hold her hand dd will say kindly but firmly that she wants her to stop. But she is at a loss about how to tell this girl she doesn't e want to be mates. Dds other friends have drifted away and/or this girl excludes them. So dd doesn't really have a plan b, it's this girl or no one so as well as upsetting this girl she'll be isolating herself.

Dd is going to try a lunchtime club tomorrow and we are going to be 'busy' over half term. She also has emergency back up in the shape of her twin and her friends.

How best to handle. Poor old dd. She really needs to find her tribe but it's proving tough.

OP posts:
Enko · 20/10/2022 07:19

A good start to support her to say no with regards to the hand holding.

Could she rebuild other relationships from before to the. Be busy after half term ? Is there perhaps another friend from before that.might help. Even if they were not close before,?

Enko · 20/10/2022 18:29

Givng this a bump for you hoping others have suggestions.

lugeforlife · 20/10/2022 21:05

Oh thank you. Have been at work all day.

Today was a bit iffy. She was quiet which resulted in 'best friend' getting really upset and crying which made dd feel awful.

OP posts:

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Kabbalah · 20/10/2022 21:17

Stranger things have happened !.

Enko · 21/10/2022 07:44

lugeforlife · 20/10/2022 21:05

Oh thank you. Have been at work all day.

Today was a bit iffy. She was quiet which resulted in 'best friend' getting really upset and crying which made dd feel awful.

Is it possible to help your dd get some support with her Confidence. Like not her fault the friend cried she is allowed to have boundaries. Does the school have a counselling service that may help?? (Also perhaps ask to get this post moved to secondary school board)

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