Done a bad job at work and I’m spiralling and can’t stop crying

[doneforev]

I was briefed on a project and was asked to spend a few hours working on a first draft, and then share it in a meeting today. I did what I thought was an ok first draft, definitely a work in progress but it was just a check in today so see my progress and make sure it’s heading in the right direction.

I shared the project in the meeting and straight away the senior manager and my manager were saying it’s not right. They hadn’t wanted a proper first draft but just a rough plan/outline, and I had taken it in the wrong direction anyway and hadn’t focussed on the right aspects of the messaging.

I feel like crap. I’ve never this kind of feedback before, and usually when I work on projects we go straight in with a rough first draft, rather than a plan. I’m hiding in the toilets in the office as I can’t stop crying.

II feel like I’ve let everyone down, and that every email is going to be from my manager putting in a meeting to fire me. I feel like I’m terrible at my job, and my manager is going to realise how all the positive feedback I received from them in the past was a fluke or coincidence and I’m bad at my job.

Ok. dry your eyes. We've all done it - misunderstood a brief. But that was what the draft meeting was for - to discuss the work you've done to date and to set out how the project will go from here.

You know you're not going to get fired. You know you catastrophising.

And you know what work you need to do to pull this back to meet their expectations. Put a 'do not disturb' on your calendar and then sit down with a fresh piece of paper to outline your understanding. Then put a meeting in your manager's diary for tomorrow or Thurs to discuss what you've done since the meeting and check you're now on the same page. Be proactive about accommodating what they said in the meeting today.

You haven't mucked up. You've simply misunderstood and from your positive previous feedback, I'm sure they are confident you will adjust the work you've done and come up with a good piece of work.

Oh and get yourself a bar of choc or glass of wine when you get home - you've earned it!

Take a step back to breathe before moving on with the task at hand.

You can do this. The great thing is that you put together a draft which gave them something to work from and to comment on. So you're all a step closer to the end goal. I know it's a horrible feeling, you need a bit of time to recompose before getting back on to it.

I agree chocolate will help.

Thank you both, I read your posts when I was at work earlier and they really helped. I'm still feeling really upset by it, it's really knocked my confidence and made me feel like I'm bad at my job.

I've spent the afternoon trying to fix it, and taking in the feedback I received but I'm still not really happy with the work and nervous about showing it in tomorrow's meeting. I have a bit of a writer's block with it, and staring at my laptop screen all evening isn't going to help so think I need to just show what I have done so far. It's a style of work that's quite different to what I usually do and I think this has helped identify that it's something I could probably do with working on improving. I might bring it up to my manager that it's a style of work that I'd like to improve on and ask for their advice?

Try not to be hard on yourself. Could you ask for some time with your manager prior to the meeting to check you’re on the same page? They won’t think badly of you. The project is a bit different to what you are used to. You have done well in the past, and you’re trying your best now.

Yes, meet with your manager for some one to one feedback and ask for more hands on support as you get to grips with this new approach. Nobody wants you to fail, so get proactive and line up the support you need. You can do it. 😊

Please don't worry so much, often people aren't clear with what they want or don't know what they want until something has been put in front of them.
I have to delegate a lot of work and if people show me something that isn't what I expected I'm usually consumed with wondering how I could have been clearer! Also I much prefer seeing something early we are v v use to iterating through stuff.

Please be easy on yourself, this is a shared problem. If they know you’ve taken it in the wrong direction then they also know where they want the project to go and should be able to point you in the right one.

It’s obvious from previous positive feedback you have the talent to do well and are just having a wobble. Maybe that’s because everything else around us is rubbish at the minute and you’re not feeling as secure as you normally are?

Your confidence has taken a knock, but that’s ok, it’s work, as I say to my children all their lives, this will come and this will go so don’t worry and do your best.

Good luck.

If I mess something up (it happens- we are all human), I do prefer to go home, take my mind off it, good sleep, early morning and then look at it with fresh eyes. Frazzled and tired eyes don't make for my best work.
Agree with PP who's said take time away from other work and take time to focus without distractions.
You. Have. Got. This.

You're going to get good feedback, you're going to get bad feedback. That feedback is for you. Pick what helps, discard what doesn't - pull your shoulders back, roll your sleeves up and get on with the job.

You're not paid to impress people. You're also only human and you will make mistakes. We all make mistakes.

Focus on delivery always. Everything else is just noise. You'll be fine.

Is there something else going on with you at the moment? Because this is a very big reaction….

Yes, I have anxiety and depression. I was off earlier this year due to it and ever since I've felt really fragile when it comes to work stuff

I also had a stressful night last night as one of my friends was having suicidal thoughts and so I was up late on the phone to them in the middle of the night

You’ve had one brief and a couple of hours pulling it together. The fact it wasn’t what they thought they were after isn’t your issue

go in tomorrow and ask them for clear, written down requirements. In project world unless it’s written down it ain’t real. Doesn’t have to be more than a couple of lines

i had a boss who stated exactly what he wanted then changed his mind when he saw it. We all collectively made him write things down

I had a feeling you’d say that - I am permanently convinced I’m getting fired and I have anxiety and depression too. You need to keep reminding yourself that it’s not real. It’s your head that’s against you, not your boss.

To be honest if I were you I’d be a bit annoyed. They’re clearly a bit inadequate themselves if they can’t even explain themselves well enough to point you in the right direction and now you’ve wasted your time on this. Ask for clarification so that you’re all actually on the same page. They must take some responsibility for this as well. They could have made sure that you understood the brief. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

I think if I were your manager, I’d be seeing that as my fuck up. MY boss would have mildly chewed my ear off for demoralising hard working staff with a shit project brief. I say mildly, at the worst you have partially wasted a few hours and got one upset/pissed off team member. In the log of epic fuckups that isn’t even a footnote.

As your boss, id have been told to sort my shit out, and give good written briefs next time, and to check in with you early on that you were ok with the task.

and Even if ANY blame lay with you (it doesn’t)… at least you didn’t have to fly back from the US to get bollocking or get a WTF email from the IMF