What proportion of people are good, decent people, and are you a good person?

[BomboChipolata]

Based on threads we see here, a lot of people seem to be surrounded by awful people. I’d be interested in how people view their circle and how they see themselves.

My own view is that 90% of people are fundamentally good people, but they can be bitter or selfish from time to time. I’d put myself in that category.

how do you view people?

Are you a decent person?
What proportion of people are good people?

I watched a very heavily pregnant homeless woman hit her head and injure herself badly on a busy street. She was bleeding badly and I was the only person to stop. I asked several people to call an ambulance. They either refused outright or looked at her with digust and walked on. That was the last day I believed most people were good at heart.

Explain this @IncompleteSenten

I carry naloxone. It's inconvenient, takes up space in my bag, is a pain to remember to renew and is generally not good for me. Work have told me not to administer on duty. Drug users have made my life slightly less safe and less enjoyable on average. I don't know anyone very well who would need me to administer naloxone. When I've got it out, generally the reception hasn't been lovely.

I carry it because I like to think of myself as a nice person. I have used it because it saves lives. Not lives that enhance my life but still.

The impulse is selfish. I want to feel good about myself. The action is good. Saving lives. Is that good or bad? It is selfish but selfish for social good. You can see it either way.

I do think true altruism isn't really a thing. But something that looks like it is human.

Yes. You are very probably right although I used that example precisely because it is selfish and not for any perceived greater good, in order to describe my belief in the utter selfishness and dubious morals of humans as a species.

Kill a wicked man to save a starving child doesn't adequately describe just how little I believe most people actually care about others and they will not refuse to gain or actively choose to lose so that others can gain iyswim. Especially if they don't personally know these people.

You could look on the covid board here and see just how many people are saying no way are they willing to do anything any more that restricts them in any way even though that may mean others die. They justify it of course. I did my bit. My own mental health. Can't live like this forever. Only old people are dying. Other things matter. That's all classic behaviour exactly in line with what I'm saying.

Please no covid froth, I'm not actually interested in debating covid. I'm only using it because it's a fucking excellent example that shows people will not act (certainly long term) for the good of random people's potential survival when that conflicts with their own needs and wants. Once it became apparent that most people were not at personal risk of death, suddenly it was all "I'm done with lockdown". 🤷

I realise I'm boring the fuck out of people but they don't have to read it. I am fascinated by the human mind and behaviours and the mental gymnastics we perform.

How about the old press a button one?

Here's a box with a button.
Press this button and you will get twenty million, thirty million, fifty million, whatever
A shitload of cash. A billion. Why the fuck not?

The price? Somewhere in the world, a child will die. Or ten. Or the holiest of holy nuns.

The guarantees?
Neither you nor anyone you know knows the victim/s.
There will be no investigation. There will never be so much as a report in their local paper. Hell, throw in that the box appeared magically so there's not a human being alive who even knows you pressed a button. (I think there was a film based on this idea).

I think that those who think people are fundamentally good (as in harmless, kind, not willing to cause pain to others) would be shocked as shit to learn how many would press the fuck out of that button.

Maybe some of them would press the button and tell themselves they'll use the money to benefit people all over the world. Start a charity. End world hunger. 🤷

I don't need to explain it. You explained it absolutely brilliantly. I couldn't do better.

You are 100% right. You carry it because it makes you feel like a good, kind person and you have assessed that the potential risk to you is low enough that it is less important than the feeling carrying it gives you about your goodness and worth as a human being.

Good - as in stop the car or cross the road and help out if you see a crash/someone fall/someone in distress - yes, i will. And have.

Good as in give away my possessions to help others, or devote whole evenings to do charity work ect. no sadly not that good.

Spur of the moment stuff - i'm your woman. Long term commitment stuff - no.

I think almost everyone is 'good enough'; we all have better days and worse days, and situations that bring out the worst in us, but generally people are trying their best unless they make it clear they are actively being unpleasant.

And many would say that stopping to help someone in a crash is as much about being nosey or enjoying the adrenaline rush as doing good, especially if you have no training whatsoever.
Doesn’t apply to the trained paramedic who does it to a high standard night after night without complaint.

Long term commitment is a truer good than spur of the moment.

OK, i'll just drive by next time i see a car wrap itself round a tree on our country lanes then, and not bother ringing for the trained paramedics. There are so many of them lurking around in the fields after all ...

God how i'll miss those adrenaline rushes.

That, i 100% agree with.

I'd say I'm bit of both. I'm generous , hardworking and honest but I can be mean sometimes and get angry easily. I don't think many people are one or the other. I'd say my DH is one of the rare people who is mostly good.

My neighbour can be nice to other people but has been foul to me. Is she decent or not? Obviously I can't judge.

She would say exactly the same words about me !!

@IncompleteSenten It's interesting you mention Covid (I promise this is not a rant )

I'm recovering from it, my CEV ill husband is in hospital having been admitted with it, has now lost all mobility. I've walked around the house saying that I would do anything, anything to get him home ( because I'm scared and bereft)

I wouldn't however press that button to destroy a child to achieve that. I agree a possibly terrifying number would, but more wouldn't, not for the thing they crave most in the world, certainly not for money. The evolution/societal conditioning /religion thing(s) have had some plangency with us as a species and there is an absolute good in that, at least.

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you both feel better soon.

I would love you to be right and me to be wrong.

I would love to believe that most people are basically really decent in any given situation and will be good and nice and fair and wouldn't do an awful thing for any reason.

I just don't. I really don't. I look at the world now, at the history books, at the horrendous stuff that is posted online, the disgusting things people do to even the most vulnerable of humans and other species, the low level stuff people who consider themselves nice do day in day out that contradicts that view of themselves and I just don't think the human species is redeemable.

@IncompleteSenten and everyone else interested in this topic I would massively recommend a book called Humankind by Rutger Bregman. It looks into all the reasons that people often think so little of others (even though there’s SO much good evidence that people do generally behave as we would hope that they would, and there is little to no reason to think the worst of others). And it seeks to understand why awful things happen (eg. Nazi Germany/WW2). And also the fact that media tends to focus on negative news, perpetuating this view. Really readable and fascinating. A Hopeful History amzn.eu/d/7SH6ARH Here if anyone’s interested!

And in answer to the original question, I strongly believe that the vast vast majority of people are fundamentally decent!

@Ubbee oh interesting I’m just going to order 😁

Thanks @Ubbee that sounds really interesting.

Thanks for that @IncompleteSenten I'm still standing (just)

A fairly big part of my degree involved studying the Holocaust, the very worst of what human beings are capable of and occurring within living memory. In amongst the absolute horror of it were other stories though, people who risked their own lives to try to save complete strangers. These ranged from Princesses to dirt poor people with a learning disability. I don't think they were doing it for good feelings of self worth as they knew the terrible things that would happen to them if they were caught and tragically that did, to people whose names we will never know, the ones who tried and failed.

I suppose I think that all of us can be crap, we say bitchy things, we don't do enough. All of us. We can be amazing though, as well as rubbish.

About 75%.
Yes.

It’s a complex question, and one I struggle with.

I think there must people in the world who think I’m dreadful, because there have been times in my life where I’ve struggled, and acted badly as a result.

Other people will think I’m great, because I can be very kind and will go out of my way to help someone who needs it.

Then there are people who I’ve realised are really bad for me, and I’ve had to close the door on them. I’m one of those people who has a high tolerance threshold, but once someone crosses the line, I find it shockingly easy to cut them off forever

What are the stats about nazi germany? I don’t know - it much more than 90% of people actively participated and many more watched and didn’t intervene.

Same in Soviet Russia but the consequences for anyone and their families who didn’t acquiesce were dire.
The slightest criticism of the system would have people sent to the gulags or executed. Naturally the majority toed the line.
In East Germany people would be made to inform on their friends, relations and neighbours and good luck to them if they refused to do so.

I don't think you can extrapolate from behaviour in a totalitarian society, like Nazi Germany or Stalin's USSR, to behaviour in a free society.

@Leemoe I'm not sure you are describing a nice person there! Someone who puts on a show of being nice but isn't underneath is s hypocrite .

Or perhaps we have a different understanding of what 'nice' means .

I don't think you can extrapolate from behaviour in a totalitarian society, like Nazi Germany or Stalin's USSR, to behaviour in a free society.

I agree. That is what I was trying to say in reply to anydaynowonewouldhope.

See now I could never shoot another person (unless they were threatening mine or someone I love's life). Not even for 10 million.

So maybe I'm a good person? 😂