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Original poster

11 Plus woes

9 replies

Anu75 · 18/10/2022 09:55

Oh DD got her results , 220 GL assessment. In her exam she said she missed 20 questions and I have been trying to explain to my DH that time was a factor. Anyway I put her in for some other entrance tests and he is now blaming me for her result as the priority pass is 225 and others in her class with less help and tuition have got scores above 230 but unlike the other mothers I did put her in for cross county 11 plus too. I have tried to explain we didn't really do anything different to add pressure to her. I took out a loan to pay for her tuition as I have been flat out working and to be quite frank she wasn't listening to me when I used to her ask her to do 11 plus work whilst when it was a tutor she would listen. She lives as any child does in the moment and I found it exhausting to continually ask her . My husband didn't help saying don't put pressure on her. She did improve a lot and we did past exam papers using GL and Bond online too towards the end. I felt her Summer was taken away from her a bit and I am disillusioned with the whole secondary system. I doubt after all the effort judging from her friends scores it was worth it. I was bullied in secondary school comprehensive and just wanted better for my daughter. I just feel like crying

OP posts:
Cuppasoupmonster · 18/10/2022 10:32

I’ve read this twice trying to make sense of it, are you just expressing disappointment that she failed the 11+?

SnowFir · 18/10/2022 10:43

I was terrified of my dd1 going to a comp having grown up in a grammar area and gone to grammar. At primary school some of the cool kids weren't that nice to her and I thought it would only get worse at secondary. She's been absolutely fine at secondary though. A bigger pool of kids has meant she's made a lovely group of friends. The cool kids have never bothered her at secondary. Seems more live and let live than primary. She got into a top 10 uni from the school sixth form. Some of her friends got 3 x A* and a few have gone to top ten unis. Dd2 has been happy too and doing well. Your dh sounds like he's being a dick to blame you. Your dd might be happier as one of the brightest in a comp than mediocre at a grammar.

Original poster
Anu75 · 18/10/2022 10:43

She has passed the pass mark I think of 205 however the website talks about priority scores which 224 and judging by the number of people who apply and listening to everyone else's scores I don't think it is hopeful. If you are pupil premium you have to get 205 and will be prioritised -but this does not apply to me although I wish it did as I am in a lot of debt now.

I just feel disappointed yes as we did work hard in the Summer together and I got a loan out to help pay for tuition.

Yes just sad really but on the plus I have seen one or two good comprehensive schools . I feel the effort was a waste of time and money and being blamed this morning by DH I felt like crying. He hasn't helped at all with administering any tests at home , has no idea about the exam boards yet quiffed it is all my fault she failed . I am still waiting for her other results to come back.

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Bobbins36 · 18/10/2022 10:45

It’s disappointing yes. However, have you considered that with extra tutoring not getting the desired outcome and seeming reluctance to motivate herself, grammar school might not be the best environment for her? She might well be happier elsewhere.

Cuppasoupmonster · 18/10/2022 10:46

But it isn’t a ‘fair’ exercise in that sense OP, you don’t get back what you put in - you just prepare them as best you can and hope they pass on the day. Not all of the kids can pass no matter how much their parents want them to. I went to grammar school and hated it, and most of my old classmates now have decidedly average jobs.

Original poster
Anu75 · 18/10/2022 11:02

Yes Bobbins and Cupps ...these are fair points.

OP posts:
Signeduptosimplyreplytothis · 18/10/2022 11:04

She could also have some what a lot of children do and decided in the moment she didn't want to be there so idled the time away.

If she's bright she will thrive in any good school and you can always apply to the grammar for 6th form entrance

fUNNYfACE36 · 18/10/2022 11:11

It's a fact of life that some people are smarter than others, no matter how much money you throw at the problem.GL say that once a child has done 2 full papers there isn't that much further improvement, and after 5 none.

lolo99 · 18/08/2023 22:29

fUNNYfACE36 · 18/10/2022 11:11

It's a fact of life that some people are smarter than others, no matter how much money you throw at the problem.GL say that once a child has done 2 full papers there isn't that much further improvement, and after 5 none.

Who said this nonsense?

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