Ds school teacher issues

[Itcomesin3s]

So my son has autism and learning difficulties. He's in year 3 but he's around 2 years behinde. He gets quite upset about home work and spellings. And overly worries. I don't often make him do homework as I see that as his place to feel safe and relax. So DS told me that he was told if he did not do his spellings or home work he would be sent to the head.

The head is really nice and I don't want my child to fear him. So I mentioned it to senco who said she would speak to the teacher . ( I did make it clear that ds might not have been told he would be taken to the head) as he can get very confused about what's been said/take it the wrong way.

So anyway teacher asked for a word after school and she started kind of ranting going on that she did not tell ds he would be taken to the head. Ranting about his home work /reading. She was just talking fast and talking over me and would not listen or let me talk. She started going on how i must do at least some homework with him.

Now I have lots of stuff going on at home. With my teen who tried to end is life less than a week ago so I can really do without all the ranting at me . I have other stuff going on as well with my daughter /grandson and alot of worry that all comes on to me.

Also I have always made it clear I'm not 100% if ds has things right as he does get things mixed up and confuses things takes things the wrong way . Ie if he's encouraged he thinks he's being told off . I have always been clear on that. Its also hard to have a clear convo with ds

I have been a mum at the school for 17 years never had problems

Ds has a ehcp and one of the things on it is people Need to talk slowly give him time to take in what's been said keep things short . As he cant take things in well.

Could you even take 10 minutes every night for him to have arty at the homework?

I'm sorry, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate. I hope things get easier for you soon.

Hi OP

I also have a DS with an EHCP - we also don’t do homework as home needs to be his safe space. Oddly his teacher also forgot this week and sent homework home!

I would email the SENCO again and try and get a clear agreement on no homework. I’d also be concerned the teacher hasn’t fully understood his EHCP/needs? Perhaps ask for a meeting with you, teacher and SENCO so you can go through key provisions of EHCp and how they are meeting them.

it’s so important you and your son have confidence in his class teacher understanding his needs.

Don’t get bullied about worrying about/doing homework. If school are intractable do you have an Ed psych or other professional you could get to back you up?

Hi op,

His homework needs to be differentiated in the content and volume. It's good that the expectation is that dc does something at home but 10 mins per night of reading , spelling or maths work should be enough. HW should not cause such a negative impact on family life.

It sounds like you've got one hell,of a lot going on. Try to carve out some time to listen to him read, for his own benefit.

Is there another way of communicating with the teacher EG Dojo or email? So you can get a word in!

The step up between year two and year three is big.

For some DC with SEN homework isn’t beneficial at all. In fact it can be detrimental to them and their ability to attend school.

Im sure the OP knows her DC to work out whether doing any homework will work for him.

My DD has complex additional needs, I told the school I wouldn’t be doing homework with her (beyond reading with her which we do as a quiet time activity). She barely copes with the demands made in school much less then following her home. She does have a specialist tutor for her particular needs which has been fantastic for her development because it’s 1:1 time working with her learning style. We sourced that privately and it’s worth every penny. Much more use to her than struggling with mainstream homework every would be.

I think I would request a proper meeting with the teacher, and try to come up with a plan both of you are happy with.

I think forcing a child to do something that make them so stressed up is just wrong, and no positive effect at all.

Thank you. I spoke to senco briefly on the gate this morning. She agreed the spellings were to hard for him. As we showed her so she's going to sort that. Also she said home work is not that important she said often by the time they have got home they have had enough learning.

I asked her to ring me as I did not want to talk infront of ds. So she did. I told her I had alot going on basically what I said in my op. I did not mind telling her as she's known the family school wise for 17 years . I did not really want to tell a teacher I don't know them personal things.

As a teacher, I can say that homework done under duress and pressure will
not result in anything being learnt. Don’t do it if it’s too much and then don’t give it a moments thought. Give your boy what he needs when gets home which is probably comfort and down time.

Best wishes, it sounds like you have so much stress already. Is there an online programme your DS can use to practice at home without upset - something like Reading Eggs/Fast Phonics (it looks like a game, but is underpinned by learning outcomes)? If this works maybe the school can accept it that he does this instead of homework? It may be a different way of learning that he is comfier with. I am a parent, not a teacher, so obviously check.

If he is around two years behind, I hope the teacher is not setting him the same homework as the others as if this is the case it will be a disproportionate amount.

Fucking hell. Another bloody fuckwit with no knowledge of the impact of homework (or general comments) on some autistic children.

Why put in a post with foul language? The responses are to the Op, not her child.