Breastfeeding - cluster

[antelopevalley]

My children are 14 and 16 years old, so these days have long gone. I have been reading a book about motherhood by Rachel Cusack. For the first time ever I read someone describing breastfeeding as I experienced it. I thought I was the only one.

I breastfed my first and spent four months sitting on the sofa or lying in bed breastfeeding. I had heard of cluster feeding and knew it was normal, but literally that is how I spent nearly the whole four months before giving up. Like Rachel I felt totally trapped. It was awful and boring as hell, so I did not breastfeed my second, I couldn't bear another 4 months like that.

Is our experience incredibly rare? Maybe it is? I really do not know.

Incredibly rare as in you didn't enjoy it or the cluster feeding itself?
I found it hard by month 3 and 4 but then it got really easy and I was so glad I stuck with it, I really enjoyed it..

I meant this type of cluster feeding being incredibly rare. I know cluster feeding is common, but it is virtually all I did until I gave up after four months. Forget going to baby groups or even out for a walk. I fed, went to the toilet, quickly showered, made a cup of tea and that was it. That was literally my four months. The author I read had a similar experience.

I think it is rare for the baby to actually be feeding for that long. More likely they were feeding a bit but using you as a human dummy. My first baby i spend a lot of time under as she would feed / suck / nap a lot and I’d put that down as cluster feeding, but actually she was comfort sucking.

My second baby was a lot more efficient but I didn’t have the luxury of time to allow contact naps like that so she didn’t do it as much.

I think it’s very rare to be still in that position at four months though. What happened if you pulled the baby off? Did they have any underlying conditions like tongue tie or colic?

No tongue tie. He cried if I tried to take him off. And anyone I spoke ti for breastfeeding advice just said closer feeding is normal, enjoy this time with him, and basically implied I was a crap mum if I was not happy to give him what he wanted.

Thankfully cluster feeding is now at least mentioned by midwives and health visitors but they don't describe the extent of it and I was made to think my baby was strange for not feeding at precise intervals from birth.

It's really quite miserable and after breastfeeding 2 DC I think I'd rather formula feed a future third child. I'm glad I did it but I was so envious of mums that could actually go out and enjoy their babies outside of their homes.

Can't say whether it's normal or not. It's not what I've experienced with either of mine, who after the first few weeks have settled into feeding at 2/3/4-hourly intervals during day general and I've never been unable to leave the house or not take them anywhere (quite the opposite in that I've found it very easy as it's one less thing to remember!). So from my perspective it is unusual, but perhaps not for others.

@Hugasauras that is what I expected!

Here comes my controversial offering but I don’t think it is ‘normal’, no. Imagine all the energy they’re using up suckling for hours and hours at a time 🤯 counterproductive, especially when they’re supposed to sleep for something like 15 hours a day? My baby didn’t do this, I don’t think she ever fed for longer than 20 minutes. I imagine that’s fairly quick but I don’t recognise this ‘hours and hours of cluster feeding’ thing.

Mine was like that for 12 weeks, got much easier after that. But we didn’t stay at home as I was happy feeding her wherever we were. I fed my way through cafes and baby groups.

She properly cluster fed, as in boosting supply, a lot. But she also fed for comfort a lot too. My record was 11hrs solid one night which nearly broke me. But it didn’t and we made it to 26 months BF.

I never managed to feed without exposing my large breasts and I wasn't happy to do that in public.

My DS was like this pretty much from birth. All the other sleepy newborns were recovering whereas mine was just guzzling. Saw a very nice experienced breastfeeding consultant and she agreed he was just a challenging child to feed as my supply was plentiful and his latch was good.

I switched to formula and it helped in that he then only needed feeding hourly and I could see what he was having (which was a lot. Sometimes he’d finish one bottle then go straight onto the next.

It got better when he moved onto solids which he moved onto with ease and was rapidly eating five meals a day. Only then did he actually ever appear satiated.

He is a toddler now, and when he is going through a growth spurt it is still stressful as I literally can’t get enough calories in. He’ll have five large meals and then two or three bottles of milk on top through the night (and would have more if we let him).

I don’t think it is normal, but he’s very tall and broad for his age and still tracking along his percentile. The prospect of what he’ll be eating as a teen does scare me though. I’ll have to source a trough 😂

That's not rare.
But it is also not 'usual' cluster feeding.

There may have been a reason they were never satisfied with the milk, for example tongue tie or lower milk supply.

Babies with reflux often go one way or the other, feed constantly because the swallowing helps sooth the discomfort. Or feed less because they feel crap.

No, that isn't normal and it isn't cluster feeding. I got terrible advice initially with everyone telling me the non-stop feeding was normal and just keep going when actually I had low supply!

This might help:
fedisbest.org/2018/02/what-is-cluster-feedingand-is-it-normal/

There was no tongue tie.
The author I read saw private lactation experts and was just told to go with it.
It does sound like it is pretty uncommon though. It led directly to me not breastfeeding my youngest.

It happened to me. The health visitor would ask how long her last feed was and I'd say it had been 8 hours and they'd hum and move on. I genuinely didn't realise they didn't believe me!

When I did the breastfeeding peer support course later on I discovered she'd had a lousy latch and we'd been doing it wrong. Despite going to a huge number of bf groups no one had noticed. She'd just struggled to get enough out.

My second kid fed for a few minutes each time and was massive, once I knew how it was MEANT to be!

Sounds very familiar to me although once we got past the 4 month stage it calmed down. Never understood how over Mums got out and about so much. Midwives encouraged feeding on demand too. Up 2-3 times a night. Exhausting.

How did you get on @antelopevalley I'm in exactly the same situation with my 11day old. Feel like I may be getting used as a human dummy. My midwife just says it's cluster feeding and normal. Every evening he's on from about 7.30pm to 2am