Terms of endearment all but disappearing after having DC

[PumpkinPicker83]

My DH and I used to use terms of endearment for one another throughout or relationship - I know not everyone does but we did - including "baby" and "sweetheart". I would say that I only addressed DH by his name around 25% of the time back then.

Since having our DC (now toddler) I've noticed we've almost completely stopped and now we address each other by our first names nearly all of the time. I now address my child with pet names like sweetheart, poppet etc, about 75% of the time.

Did this happen to anyone else when they had kids?

I'm interested in this and just musing on whether this is common (for those who used pet names to begin with) and also what the impact on the relationships / marriage is.

Is it only natural that somehow my maternal need to "care" was absorbed by my child? But then does that mean I was previously mothering my husband?!

Does it show a healthy transition of roles into parenthood, or it it a sign we've lost the romance in our marriage?

No but our terms of endearment are more explicit that probably only Scottish folk would get. Not exclusively:

cuntybaws
walloper
fannyheid
tumshieheid

We became that type that called each other Mum or Dad...including outside the home 😂

Now it's Granny or Grandad 😍

Oh haha! Yes I think we do that sometimes but not very often. Surely that's the death knell of any sex life?!

Haha this is DH and I 😆

Alright CuntFace is quite standard in our house. I once heard a programme on the radio about this and someone way saying it doesn't matter if your shared language is funny/cheeky/whatever - the point is that it's shared.

Alright CuntFace is quite standard in our house.

Yeah, we've got a toddler, so I don't think we'll be adopting this... !

That look you get from the health visitor when she sees what’s he’s saved under in your phone as your phones between you and her ringing Shaun Michaels old wwe theme tune 😶

Currently pregnant FTM. We have two dogs and are already mummy and daddy so don’t think much will change on that score! Hope we are still as loving to one another though. I do read stuff about resentments creeping in on MN which concerns me. We are so loving and respectful now it would be such a shame if that changed.

Ouch yes, I've been there. The resentment is real. My advice would be after now EXACTLY what your division of labour (childcare, chores, life admin, housework and real world work) will look like, down the the final minutiae.

Fair Play by Eve somebody is a good book to read before having a child.

Anyway, I'll stop digressing on my own thread now!

Hmmmm I still use terms of endearment unless I'm in a bad mood. Then it's first names. We've been together since 16 (now 30, one DD) and have really cringe soppy names we use still.
Or we say daddy/mummy which I never thought I would 😬

Agree with your point re labour division. We work on a very equal basis. Helps prevent resentment.

We never use first names unless we are arguing

We used to use babes or baby all the time pre kids. Literally all the time.
since kids and esp as they have got older we don’t use that as much now but still sometimes do.
Not sure- I sort of think it’s a sign of properly growing up which is what parenthood makes you do. Saying babes / baby / baby cakes in front of my teen would probably make her die with cringe. Sad times. Which we could be young forever

We only ever use first names in front of each other if we're with other people too - pet names have always stayed with us