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Original poster

Widow and wedding rings

24 replies

nevercoffee · 17/10/2022 09:52

I have been a widow for just over year and half now and keep taking my engagement and wedding rings off and the putting back on again as not sure what to do with them .it doesn't seem right not to wear them somehow.
Could any other widows let me know what they have done with their rings, do I wear them on the other hand , made into something else
Just not sure what the done thing is

OP posts:
MadameCholetsDirtySecret · 17/10/2022 09:55

I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m not a widow, but those who I know keep them on. They aren’t interested in new relationships so that might be why.
TBH my advice is do what works for you each day, there doesn’t need to be a rule. I wouldn’t have them turned into something else though, as one day you might regret it.

JustLyra · 17/10/2022 09:57

I think you should do what you feel is right.

My DH was a widow when we met. He sometimes wore his ring, sometimes didn’t, sometimes wore it on a chain. He still does the same now - sometimes on his right hand, sometimes on a chain, sometimes not at all.

There’s no done thing. Just what you want to do.

heidbuttsupper · 17/10/2022 09:59

@nevercoffee so sorry for your loss. I took my rings off after about a year. I wear my engagement ring on my left hand as I love it so much

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redskyhaze · 17/10/2022 10:12

I would say just do whatever feels right to you. I've known people who keep them on and people who don't.

Whatever you do, just remember it does not mean you love your spouse any more or less and you should not feel guilty whatever your choice.

Sagittarius25 · 17/10/2022 10:16

Do what feels right for you.

Someone I know kept her wedding ring on left hand for a long time and now wears it on her right hand instead.

Whatevergetsyouthroughthenight · 17/10/2022 10:35

Widow here, I stopped wearing mine from time to time at first as I didn’t want people (e.g. tradespeople, other women at a sports club I joined where I was hoping to make new friends) assuming I had a husband and then me having to explain that he’d died, creating an awkward conversation when I might not have been ready for it. Arthritis has now made it impossible to wear them at all.

As others have said, whatever suits you. Still not sure what to do with my husband’s wedding ring with.

Smallorangecat · 17/10/2022 11:20

I have been widowed for just over a year and am still wearing my wedding ring (I didn’t usually wear my engagement ring because I can’t wear rings with stones at work), mostly because it feels so weird to take it off after 15 years. I don’t know what I will do in the long run.

REP22 · 17/10/2022 11:24

I'm so sorry for your loss. My dad died very suddenly and unexpectedly five years ago. My mum still wears her rings. For a while, she wanted to have dad's ring altered so she could wear that as well, but she decided not to in the end and it's in a box in "his" bedside drawer.

Whatever you decide is right for you will be fine.

Best wishes to you. x

Pugalicious · 17/10/2022 11:29

OP I am sorry for your loss. Don't worry too much about the ring it is only a token. Wear it or take it off, it does not change a thing. Do what you want to and not what anyone else thinks you should.
Bless you x

mondaytosunday · 17/10/2022 11:39

I kept mine on for years. Then one day took them off and put them on my right hand. I wear my husband's wedding ring on my thumb (I'll give it to my son when he gets married).
There was no 'right time'. It didn't indicate I was ready to start dating or anything (I was open to a new relationship after about two years, I just haven't met anyone who I'm interested in or who is interested in me).

iwannascream · 17/10/2022 11:45

I was widowed 18 years ago with a baby and an older child, as I liked wearing my rings I wore them for a year or two, then took them off put them away and bought myself a nice eternity ring to wear on my ring finger as it looked very bare and empty without anything.

There are no hard and fast rules to wearing your wedding and engagement rings, it's all down to choice. If you want to carry on wearing them do so with pride as you had a lovely husband who bought you the rings to wear.

Just take each day as it comes and it does get easier I promise.

Ilovedthe70s · 17/10/2022 11:49

I was widowed 30 years ago, wore my wedding ring for a couple of years and took it off one day when I was doing some digging. I have never seen it since, I didn’t miss it so it was obviously the right time for me. Haven’t worn any rings since.

TitInATrance · 17/10/2022 11:50

I swapped my ring to my right hand after the funeral, I’d read it was easier not to make a separate occasion of it. Wore it like that for 25 years then took it off - might wear on the odd occasion eg DC wedding.

fourquenelles · 17/10/2022 11:52

I wear mine on my right hand and my late DH's ring on the middle finger of my left hand. Do whatever you feel comfortable with Flowers

WTF475878237NC · 17/10/2022 11:52

After six years I had mine made into a new ring which I wear everyday (and am now remarried) but before that didn't want to take it off and never once occurred to me do so.

MEgirl · 17/10/2022 15:05

My fingers were swollen after I had my first children (twins) so never put my rings back on. For very vain reasons I didn't want to have them re-sized. My engagement ring is still sitting in a draw and I'm now considering getting it re-sized so that I can wear it on the other hand. My wedding ring is a plain gold band that belonged to mother and after DH died I decided to put it on a necklace chain which is where it has stayed 2.5 years later and I hardly ever take it off.

Ginger1982 · 17/10/2022 15:11

Completely up to you. My mum has been widowed 27 years and still wears both rings.

Changingmynameyetagain · 17/10/2022 15:20

My dad died when I was very young and my mum took her ring off after 12 months, she remarried a couple of years later, my stepdad died 2 years ago and she’s said she’ll never take her rings off, She’s still very much grieving him.

My MIL was widowed 5 years ago and she doesn’t wear her engagement ring anymore but still wears her band.

MiddleAgedLurker · 17/10/2022 15:27

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the OP's request.

Hbh17 · 17/10/2022 15:31

Do what you want. Some people remove straight away, as no longer married. Some keep on. Some put on a chain round their neck.
Two friends of mine were widowed quite young. One of them had her wedding & engagement rings combined and made into a new ring by a jeweller - she occasionally wears it on her right hand.
The other friend wears her wedding ring on her right hand but (I hope) she is slowly building up to removing it altogether, or combining it with her engagement ring as per friend 1.

I think, at some point, there probably has to be an acceptance that life moves on, but it just depends how quickly someone wants to address that.

gogohmm · 17/10/2022 15:32

No right and wrong - most of my ladies at work are widows, some wear them others don't. Around a year seems to be common for taking them off

slowquickstep · 17/10/2022 15:51

My Mum has been dead for over 3 decades and my Dad still wears his wedding ring, so do whatever makes you happy,there is no right or wrong.

glassfully · 17/10/2022 16:36

Do whatever you want. My DFIL lost DMIL when they were in their 40s. He's remarried and wears both wedding rings. One on each hand.

Original poster
nevercoffee · 17/10/2022 18:38

Thank you all for kindly messaging , it's definitely something to think about , and like you say no rush at all to make any type of decision

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