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Issues with neighbours

2 replies

Serena1977 · 16/10/2022 19:36

I live on a typical 3 bed semi suburban sort of cul-de-sac. All our neighbours are either elderly or young couples. We are the only family with children.

Neighbour 1 elderly single man who lived with elderly single sister. Extended family but nobody really took an interest. Until recently, they have managed but the elderly gentleman was struggling more and more to manage with even more elderly sister and therefore coming to us with issues such as needing his guttering clearing, errands etc Elderly sister has died, extended family member has come to us to ask us to keep a close eye on him and given me her mobile number if there is a problem. Elderly chap still comes over regularly with problems, questions. The other day, he fell in the street and I heard him shouting 'help' above the shower, went in my robe down to the street, call ambulance etc.

Neighbour 2 (even more tricky) single elderly lady, no family. Seems paranoid, thinks people throw their faeces at her window, (investigated and it was birds) thinks everyone is on the make, only trusts us etc.

DH got a call last week from her bank as we are her next of kin listed (DID NOT KNOW OR AGREE TO THIS) she has tried to withdraw a large amount of cash and she confessed to the bank woman she has been conned by some workman who quoted £100 for work and now say its £6000. Bank notifies police and say that the police with bring her home and will need to speak to us!!!!

Police duly bring her home and talk to us about the situation, out of her earshot, we explain to the police that we are just a neighbour and this is the 3rd time she has been scammed that we know about, but she isn't our responsibility. She is completely paranoid, keeps curtains closed, has silver foil up on her windows, thinks people are in her garden etc etc yet I said to her where did you find the workmen?, she said on the street, they knocked on her door. Then she said, I know, I know, I am feeling stupid and distressed by it.

She has since been ringing or calling round saying things like she is still distressed and upset by it etc etc. (she brought it on herself, third time!). She rang today asking if DH would fit a padlock to her shed door. The padlocks with the number combination that literally you loop through and click. She starts going on about her distress and telling him the story again. After 25 minutes, I went over and pretended that MIL was on the phone, so she let him go.

We are so busy with work and DH works shifts so is not always off at the weekends so DKids have loved him being here this weekend.

I don't want to keep an eye on elderly neighbours or be a next of kin at her bank, or deal with paranoia, dodgy workmen etc. etc. I don't want to think at any moment the phone will ring, or the door will knock with another issue, but I feel guilty because both neighbours are alone.

What should I do?

OP posts:
Underscore21 · 16/10/2022 19:46

Move house or,
The 2nd neighbour I'd ring the vulnerable adult safeguarding team at your local council and report your concerns. Contact that woman's bank and get your name removed as NOK before you're accused of something.

First neighbour you need to be more assertive with the family member who had the cheek to tell you to keep a close eye on him. That's not up to you !
You've got your own DC jobs and home and presumably extended family to run round after.
Sounds like both neighbours need to be in supported living arrangements for their own safety.

Brigante9 · 16/10/2022 20:05

Underscore21 · 16/10/2022 19:46

Move house or,
The 2nd neighbour I'd ring the vulnerable adult safeguarding team at your local council and report your concerns. Contact that woman's bank and get your name removed as NOK before you're accused of something.

First neighbour you need to be more assertive with the family member who had the cheek to tell you to keep a close eye on him. That's not up to you !
You've got your own DC jobs and home and presumably extended family to run round after.
Sounds like both neighbours need to be in supported living arrangements for their own safety.

Agree with everything, speak to neighbour’s relative asap and say you are not prepared to be the default carer. Our neighbour recently became very infirm following a fall, we called the ambulance but I was secretly really relieved her son moved in to care for her, I just couldn’t, we both work full time.

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