TW: talk of child sexual assault
not sure what I’m looking for here, as it’s over and done with it just plays on my mind a lot.
when I was 14 & 15 I had a boyfriend (let’s call him A). We were together for a year. During this relationship he would force me to have sex with him very regularly. We were allowed to sleep over each other’s houses and spent most of our time together so it was easily done. I had a dysfunctional childhood and didn’t really have anyone to talk to so was isolated. I knew it wasn’t right though but put up with it because I was lonely.
about 9 months into the relationship I confided in a friend about this at school when we were talking about sex. She then told a teacher.
The next day, the day of a school trip, I was pulled into the deputy heads office first thing and told I had made a serious allegation and wouldn’t be going on the school trip and was to sit in isolation in the office all day. A was allowed to go. I was bought school work and somebody bought me school dinner in. When deputy head came in near the end of the day I told her it really happened and cried. She said “well we will call the police and if you’re certain that actually happened you will have to make a statement.” And “you need to have a serious think about what you are accusing A of”.
the next day, still in isolation, A in class, police came into DH office and I had to make a statement. They called social services and my mum and dad. A went mental at me over Facebook that night saying how if ruined his life and how he was going to kill himself. He wanted to be come s police officer when he was older so I’d ruined everything for him. Mum was mad because of social services involvement and wouldn’t talk to me. So when a social worker came round, I told her that I had just made it all up.
life at school was hell after that. I was still kept in isolation. Teachers were horrible to me, I wasn’t allowed to get lunch and they’d withhold it from me. I did bad in my exams because I practically taught myself for the whole of year 11. Me and A were still together and everyone saw me as an abuser and would feel sorry for him. I was known as the girl who lied about rape.
this also affected me in later life when an ex boyfriend attacked me with a knife and the police wouldn’t even investigate. I had to go to a&e and get stitches and they just said no further action would be taken against him. It also took me years of therapy and healing to get over the repeated sexual assault.
I want to apply for jobs in the criminal justice system (halfway through a criminology degree) and I’m scared ‘liar’ is written all over my record.