Was I right or wrong?

[Theirishwan]

Had a staff night out last night (it was a great night). Venue was approx 30 minutes from me and not much in the way of public transport. Last time we went out here it cost a fortune in shared taxi.

One of my colleagues said he was going to drive as he had somewhere important to go this morning. As he would be passing my house I asked for a lift. He said no problem as he’d like the company and then offered 2 others a lift as he was passing through the village they live in (about 5 mins from my house). Everyone delighted.

a while before he was picking us up I messaged one of the others and suggested that we club together to pay for his meal as a thank you gesture. I was very surprised by the adamant No! Reply that I got. She said he was driving anyway so why should we pay for him. (it was far less that a taxi would have cost us and far more convenient).

I was quite shocked by her and she’s not short of money. Was I wrong to suggest this?.

It was a very last minute increase on budget.

Its nice to say thank you to him, but I think your suggestion was unnecessarily generous, and as PP says would have seen a bit sprung on the others.

Lovely of you to be so generous, but fine if that’s not for others.

I think it was probably a bit over the top. You could buy them some chocolate / similar as a thank you, but you can't really decide how other people spend their money.

Agree it was over the top and you sprung it on them last minute. You should have just bought him a drink whilst out as a gesture.

I think it was a nice gesture by you - and perfectly acceptable. A jolly nice act of kindness by him, also. A heck of a lot less awkward, also, than thinking what a suitable 'chocolates', 'wine' gift would be appropriate.

Ok fair enough.

I suppose I was grateful as the last time it cost us an absolute fortune to get a taxi return to the same place.

? Erm... driving? Please have a coke on us seems rather insulting. Don't know what the meal cost, so whether it was a reasonable suggestion or not isn't clear. But doing nothing and acting entitled is rude.

I agree with you, OP. If they were always intending on attending before the driver accepted to drive them, they either would have had to drive (their own fuel costs) or public trabsport/taxi. So they've saved massively regardless. I'd have been embarrassed not to reimburse fuel/pay for part of his meal or his soft drinks.

I don’t drink and often offer to drive on a night out. I’m never insulted when someone pays for my drink (Diet Coke) I appreciate the gesture of thanks not the monetary value.

Was the meal very expensive? It was a great suggestion by you and I would have agreed to it, shame they didn't.

I would be happy to pay

The meal ended up being €30 pp. So it would have been €10 each if we split it. Bargain compared to cost of a taxi

I'm with you, would've been happy to cover his meal. Maybe get him something yourself (wine?)

Wow I’m surprised by the comments. I would definitely offer to cover the meal!