What Do You Pay For With Teenagers?

[SunshineLollipopsAndRainbows]

This should be in Teenagers but I couldn’t find it! Basically wondering what’s covered by pocket money & what you pay for? I find it a bit of a minefield, especially as prices have shot up. DD13 gets £10 a week pocket money but we often seem to end up paying for a lot of stuff. She’s very demanding so we have to talk to her about money, saving, budgeting etc. She always wants money for food & drinks when she’s out with her friends & we have had to cut right back on that. If she’s out for the whole day we give her lunch money. Presents for friends is another area of conflict. I usually say that if DD is going to a party then I will pay for a present & card but otherwise she can sort it out herself. One Christmas it got ridiculous as she ended up buying about 60 presents, some of which were still in her room in the New Year! She is on the spectrum & tends to be very impulsive. Also a massive people pleaser!

Hi
I have 2 teenage daughters (both slightly older than yours)
I find it very hard as no one wants to be a ‘mean’ parent…neither do we want to ‘spoil’ them so they end up with no idea of budgeting.

At 13 I think my youngest also had about a £10 a week. What I have learnt is that expectations, and things you need money for have changed dramatically since I was a young teenager. Plus I came from a very deprived background so I’m aware my perspective might be skewed. For example eating out or buying Frappuccino type drinks are seen as an every day ‘right’ or necessity. In our case if I didn’t fund a few extras she would find it difficult to socialise in the friendship group.

re Christmas I gave her quite a generous budget for friends (about £50-60), from that she had to decide whether to (for example) buy ten people a smaller gift or go more luxurious for fewer friends. This worked well. Birthdays I give her £10 plus card (I buy cheap ish cards from budget card shop) for close friends. If she asks for others then I would suggest maybe a box of maltesers or similar or she can fund it. Apart from school holidays I would fund a maximum of one meal/Starbucks per week unless there was a special reason. So if she was going to Starbucks I’d put an extra £5 in her account. I also buy all toiletries for her (reasonable brand deodorant etc she doesn’t have to buy that out of allowance)

@SunshineLollipopsAndRainbows
p.s. the teenager section is tucked away under ‘Being a Parent’ in case you need it in the future

My ds is 14...I buy his clothes, shoes and pay for his gym and football sessions. He doesn't get pocket money but he has his own debit card and if he needs money I give it to him. He's probably quite unusual in that he never really asks for anything or spends money. He occasionally buys some sweets after school but that's it. His entire social life revolves around football so he doesn't need money for going out.

My DS is 17, so quite a different age group, but you'll be surprised by how quickly you get to this point!
Allowance: covers food etc if going out or if he wants to buy food at school- there is always stuff to take from home. Any leftovers can be spent however he wishes.
Earnings (about £120 a month): his to spend as he wants. We encourage some to go away each month for uni. He usually buys a night out or a day trip each month. He buys presents for friends.
We pay for: sim only mobile contract, driving lessons (and car expenses), private language lessons, clothes, school expenses (such as trips or text books).

Ds16 - gym membership, half his phone contract, essential clothes (6th form clothes, winter coat, pants and socks), school lunches. No pocket money (usually he has a job - is between jobs at the moment and skint. Am resisting the temptation to sub him as it's kind of his own fault and he has expensive tastes and spends without thinking)
Ds13 - £10 a month pocket money, phone contract, school lunches, all clothes except expensive trainers etc for birthdays. If he goes out I might give him £5 for food, and I pay for trips out, friends' birthdays etc, but he's a homebody and a saver so rarely needs anything.