Anxiety and presenting

[Ahumanjellyfish]

It’s stupid. I’m 40 and have been asked to present more in my current work role.

I’m an introvert and not very confident in groups (fine 1-2-1) and terrified. I observe others in meetings and they come alive; usually have some thing intelligent to say but my mind goes blank in such circumstances.

Any tips? I know it’s pathetic but I get my laptop out and feel sick I can’t even bring myself to work on it as I feel I can’t breathe. I don’t know how I’ve become such a mess.

Following this thread with interest, I’m pretty much the same!

I'm the same. I'd change jobs but maybe that's not possible.

Thank you both! glad I’m not the only one! As I said, the others seem to love talking in meetings and Have great ideas and responses. I’m aware I’m not contributing. Saying that my best ideas usually come from having time to reflect.

it literally ruins my weekend, the thought of even preparing it is overwhelming. I wish I was underplaying it, I’m awful. I can’t even watch a presentation I had to do last year.

are there jobs that exist that don’t involve presenting 🙈🫣.

I also feel it’s when everyone will find out how rubbish I am 🤦‍♀️.

Reading your 2 posts I think there are 2 different issues here, OP. 1. Your nerves around giving presentations. 2. The way you're describing your thinking / responding style in group situations / meetings.

Please don't see your preferred way of thinking / responding as a weakness. Teams need people who think deeply and take time to process before speaking! Is it hard feeling like you are the 'odd personality out' in a team full of apparently quick thinkers, but please try to see your style as a strength. Would you feel able to have a conversation with your manager or colleagues about this being your preferred style?

About nerves when presenting - this is really normal! I say this as a fellow introvert who is really not comfortable with public speaking / attention on me who now finds herself working as a University lecturer. Practice helps, even if only to reduce the initial panic response. Caring a bit less about what people think of you helps too.

What development support does your workplace offer? Do you have performance reviews through which you can raise development needs and access training? Do you have access to any mentoring schemes?

I'm late 40s and have to present quite a lot and still have terrible nerves.

What usually helps me, and is good anyway for your presentation is always asking questions of your audience. Do a brief into and then get people talking.

Remember, you are the expert in the room. Lead by understanding what the people in the room want from you.
Ask them this.
One I gave last week was defining done for a project. I asked them to give me their definitions. It allowed for conversation and gave me confidence to give them the official line as such. To advise them rather than just presenting.

I heartily recommend a book called liberating structures. It can change the way we work a lot.

You can do this.

Also, my mantra;

What's the worse that can happen?(will anyone die? No)
Tell the truth. Always.

I feel the same. I’ve taken the ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’ approach for years to try and desensitise myself to it, put my hand up for presentations to practice etc. But it’s still very much not my favourite thing and I still get extremely nervous.

I take propranolol now 40 mins before a presentation. It doesn’t make the anxiety go away but does reduce some of the physical symptoms (racing heart, sweating) so part of the fear-response cycle is broken which seems to help.

I'm exactly the same. Got to do one tomorrow morning for 100+. I dread them, mainly because I feel my physical symptoms are obvious, red face/chest, shaky high voice, my body just lets me down. But propranolol helps a lot! I used to take 10-20mg which really helped so much! I now take 40mg as my general anxiety is now worse but they are honestly the only thing that gets me through presentations and some social situations. You can get online pharmacies to prescribe them now - im almost certain. Boots dr, etc. Im so thankful for them and wish I knew about them in my early twenties when my career was just staring out. Good luck OP.

Very often people say things in meetings because they feel they have to, or want to, to feel important. The quietest person in the meeting is often the smartest.

You are the expert - you're only presenting stuff you know inside and out remember that!

I like to have loads of notes, others like to have bullet points to allow them to speak freely about each point - which one makes you feel most comfortable?

The one trick that really works for me is to treat your nerves as excitement. They are the same physiological reactions, so instead of thinking 'I'm shitting myself over this' reframe it to 'I'm so excited to share this fascinating (probably pretty boring :) information with the company' 'lets go, can't wait for this'!

It honestly works. Good luck!

I'm the same op but I do this for a living.
I meet a customer usually not o owing who I am presenting to or how many. No issue.

Do the same in my work to more than a few and my nerves are gone.

I think you have to remember though op, most people will be rooting for you thinking that fuck it's not me up there. So just think when you go up to do it, in half an hour or so it will just be another memory.

I should take my own advice but I get the fear of it.

Honestly the only way to get past the fear is to do it. And then do it again. And again. Oh and get some propranolol... I used to take it before interviews and presentations, but went through a phase of doing them fairly regularly and found I didn't need the meds anymore. Haven't done one in a while so will probably need the meds again next time, but that's okay!

I completely go blank when I present, but fortunately in an online environment, I can prepare a script and have it on screen whilst presenting.

I practice it and good few times before hand so I know what's coming and can present it without it sounding like I'm reading it.

What is propranolol? Can you buy it over the counter

I’m fascinated by propranolol.is this just a once off medication you take on the day of the presentation?

If you can talk to one person you can talk to 10, or 50 or whatever. I find it helps to be very clear in your mind about what you want to tell them (and perhaps, to ask them) and focus on communicating that. You are just talking about stuff. We all do it every day!

if it’s in person, look at individual people in the audience as you are speaking. After a bit you can pick your favourites (those who look engaged, interested etc) and focus on them.

It's a beta blocker. It lowers your heart rate so you can't take it with low blood pressure. It's excellent for anxiety though. You just take it as and when needed.

So you still feel normal like youself?

Another vote for propranolol. I started taking it earlier this year for situational anxiety (basically presenting at work) and it is amazing. It stops all the physical symptoms of anxiety - shaking, heart racing, wobbly voice etc. I had a huge presentation at work last week and I was cool as a cucumber and performed so much better than I would have done a year ago. It doesn't stop you getting nervous as it purely addresses the physical side of things, but that's enough for me.

And yes you just take it as needed - I take 40mg a couple of hours before I need it, usually about once a fortnight.

Does it need to be prescribed

Yes completely yourself, just calmed down physical symptoms. Not addictive.

For me afterwards my legs feel a bit heavier when climbing stairs, and I can feel a bit cold. But it doesn’t last long.

GP can prescribe if you explain how much distress it’s causing you.

It's not stupid. I'm the same. Not that I have to really do public speaking, but I used to hate anything like a presentation when I was training to do my job.
I'd actually leave my job. Why have a job that makes you anxious. Its bad enough going to work as it is!!!
That's my take on it but if you like your job and want to tackle it then get some propanalol.
Google online pharmacies.
Definitely helps and you still feel your normal self.

So I can ask Asda pharmacy for it?

I agree re the propanol. I'd also suggest reading self help books such as feel the fear and do it anyway. Another thing you could do is join a speakers club such as the ASC. It may sound daunting but when I went many moons ago as I hated presenting and speaking in public, it was a great help. Good luck, you can beat this.

As PP said there are two issues and two different solutions needed.

In meetings where you want to make a point but need time to think, can you ask for the agenda and/or slides in advance? If yes you can prepare questions ahead of time. If no, try a structure where you write down a point the speaker made and any questions that pop in your head. At the end when they ask for Q&A you can say "I'm going back to your point about X because I wanted to ask about Y, have you considered Z?"

For presenting, treat it like doing a play. Write your script, rehearse it, deliver it. If you can, rehearse it in front of 1 or 2 people or the mirror for feedback. Video yourself if you have noone else then think about what you liked/would change. Its tough at first but if you want to get better only practice makes progress