My parents were immigrants and whilst I was born in England, my childhood was very much a working class background. We didn't have much money and I was always really aware as a child that whilst we were happy and had food, and never went without, we were not in a financial position to afford nice things or toys etc.
I managed to do well and school and went to a good uni and have a middle mgt job in the NHS and earn about £60k
However I have always struggled with feeling comfortable in certain social situations for example at Uni I never went to a ball as I couldn't afford a dress and didn't have money to spare on that kind of night out. I didn't keep in touch with Uni friends and it was very obvious they were very middle class and when I finished Uni I couldn't afford to attend posh weddings in lovely parts of the country or even go to there hen do's.
I now think I'm 46 have got an ok job, and reasonable life compared to where I came from, yet I still don't feel comfortable I'm socialising with my work colleagues, and whist really fortunate to have a good salary, I have 4 children and a big mortgage and really don't like to spend money on expensive meals out with colleagues, for example my manager organised a meal out and we split the bill which was £65 each. Meal was amazing but a lot to justify when I would rather spend that on my children.
I'm luckily I'm well spoken but I feel so uncomfortable in social situation. Does anyone else feel like this and any advice ?