Anyone else a crap mum? *semi- lighthearted*

[SoftPlaya]

As I was rushing late, taking my 5 year old DD to a party, as she finished her lunch walking doen the road, she told me 'I wish you were kind like my friends mummy'. Ugh, dagger in the heart.

Not least coz I kind of know what she means. Since becoming a mum of 3 whose husband works 60 hours a week, i am more impatient, sometimes shouty and generally just less available.

Anyone else can relate?

Oh right, just me then

Me too op. I've been a single mum for 2 years and I work full time, I'm often impatient, shouty and my child doesn't always get the home cooked from scratch meals I would prefer. But I do my best, she loves me, I love her, she's happy

For sure. We have ds1 who is on the autism diagnosis pathway. I find it draining and tedious dealing with continuous violent meltdowns and emotional dramas. I'm good at supporting him but cut as many corners as I possibly can to.preserve my sanity

My two often compare me to their friends mums. There’s even one who is better than me because she is more strict! Other trends are more glamorous and better at cooking.

Oh yes, me too, I'm not so bad now my dd is a teenager, but up to about 11 I was always either late or forgot school stuff. I used to look at my sil, who is a born mother, with envy at how easy she seemed to be with motherhood whilst I never found it easy.

I had the patience of a saint while I only had DS1. I struggle to manage two little children :(

Yeah, my life and supports collapsed after a major trauma. I collapsed too. I’ve improved from the darkest but I’m painfully aware I don’t have the patience or resilience to be the mum I want to be.
still my kids say they love me and that I’m the best.

A child and family expert told me that you only need to get it right 30 percent of the time. And I hold onto the line ‘ Repair is more important than rupture’.

i don’t have the patience I want, sometimes my behavior appalls me. , but but my kids also get a lot of love. I’m hoping that’s enough.

I can massively relate, I had 3 under 5 so pretty close age wise and when I look back I moaned too much. I was tired and run raggered by the little monsters. They are now teens and show no signs of damage from it, just the usual teen attitude.

Ha @ScottishInSwitzerland I bet yours are a bit older, love the adolescent put-downs

Yeah I do moan too much, we have moments that I love and will treasure but unfortunately they are fewer than I would like. I sometimes think my eldest has some additional needs, her outbursts are emorional temperament is on the big side, but never pursued this as not sure her outbursts are frequent/ regualar enough to warrant a diagnosis. I

Honestly when I have regular Time to myself I can manage, but it bloody hard to keep perspective sometimes isn't it?!

Me too!!

More patient than anyone could ever have imagined with PFB. Had my next 15 months later. Patience decreased exponentially.

Baby number 3 exactly 4 years after baby number 1... she is now 16 months old and I am a grumpy, irritable cow.

I knew I wasn't cut out for 3 kida and I was right!

Poor bugars!

You know what? Be kind, be patient, listen listen listen. My kids are late teens and I really really regret the times I lost my temper or was impatient. They do remember, and they copy.

Borrowed a book from the library by Nick Butterworth called something like "My Amazing Mum". She could iron while walking the tightrope and so on.

Read it with ds, 4, who at the end said, Well you're not Amazing like she is are you mummy. You're just ordinary.

😂

I don't know. What is an ideal mum? I listen to my friends sometimes and think they sound better than me. However, I also think I have more to deal with than they do. If you put your kids first, they are clean, fed, loved and you make sure they go to school and do their homework then you are doing OK. I also try and make sure I do one nice activity at the weekend with mine. I am not perfect and we are sometimes disorganised and sometimes I am fed up. However, my dd is happy and loved and that is enough. She has autism and I have always advocated for her. She goes to a specialist school and is well looked after at school.

Haha same. My 8 yo missed the bus on the last day of school last week and I made him walk by himself because I just couldn’t face it after being up all night with the baby.

Be kind, be patient, listen, listen listen. This is my mantra that I remind myself every day 😆

My 20yo DD told me " All my friends think you're a really cool mum. I think you're weird and embarrassing !"
🤣🤣🤣

How far did he have to walk?

Dunno exactly but it’s over a mile and a half coz we get free school bus but he missed it.