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Original poster

The truth about Christmas

14 replies

thetruthaboutchristmas · 15/10/2022 10:44

I have a nearly 11yo who it seems still believes in Santa.

I'm sure he has doubts. I know other children have said to him he doesn't exist. But he definitely still believes on some level and talks about Santa bringing presents this Christmas. I don't think he's playing along. He's probably confused. I need to set him straight as I realise at his age he'll be in the minority and I don't want him ridiculed.

What have other people in this situation said to their DC to let them down gently?

I don't want a pile on from those who never chose to 'lie' to their children about Christmas, thanks.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 15/10/2022 10:46

I just stopped mentioning santa, didn’t make a song and dance of it either way.

ofwarren · 15/10/2022 10:47

I just stopped mentioning him too. If he'd have asked outright I'd have told him, but he never did.

OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide · 15/10/2022 10:47

Im sure I’ve seen at least 3 threads asking the same thing this week. Maybe a quick search will
save you the pile on.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Christmas Events & celebrations
Original poster
thetruthaboutchristmas · 15/10/2022 10:50

OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide · 15/10/2022 10:47

Im sure I’ve seen at least 3 threads asking the same thing this week. Maybe a quick search will
save you the pile on.

I'll have a look. Had a busy week and haven't been on MN much.

Not talking about Santa won't work as it's DS who's talking about him.

OP posts:
Topseyt123 · 15/10/2022 10:51

It wasn't a conversation I ever bothered with. I rarely mentioned Santa, so neither discouraged nor encouraged belief.

It really doesn't need to be such a big thing.

MaturingLikeCheese · 15/10/2022 10:53

i told my 11 yo this time last year. She had just started secondary and deffo still believed. She had a thought start to high school so I didn’t want her to innocently talk about FC as real and be teased by others

i brought it up gently and said I had something to tell her and asked if she might know what it was relating to Xmas. And then said that it was mums and dads making the magic of Xmas and she was now in on the secret and can help make the magic. she has a younger sibling and lots of little cousins so I stressed how she shouldn’t spoil their magic and tell them

she was shocked! So that made me feel I had done the right thing in telling her, though it did feel like kicking a puppy!

she was pleased I’d told her but she said that we would pretend we hadn’t had the conversation so that she could still get caught up in the magic herself 😍

MaturingLikeCheese · 15/10/2022 10:54

*she had a hard start to high school

Breathmiller · 15/10/2022 10:55

Well, don't do what I did with my 11 year old. He found out about the tooth fairy earlier this year and was fine about it. So when he sat me down and seriously asked me about Santa I told him. And he was sooo upset! Big proper ploppy tears. Said he wished I had lied. 😣. Bless him. I managed to turn it around. The magic of Santa is still there, it has been all along even when it has been me and he can be part of helping keep that magic alive for the younger members of the family. He likes this idea and is excited again.

We have decided to do secret santa this year with my adult children and partners but he will still get a visit from "santa" as normal with the younger ones. He is happy with this.

We still have talked about Santa visiting and he winks at me conspiratorially.

OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide · 15/10/2022 10:59

Topseyt123 · 15/10/2022 10:51

It wasn't a conversation I ever bothered with. I rarely mentioned Santa, so neither discouraged nor encouraged belief.

It really doesn't need to be such a big thing.

Agree. This was our approach. DD was never bothered (but played along with others).

It doesn’t help when people have encouraged it and then have to “tell the truth” after a decade or so. :-/

whosaidtha · 15/10/2022 11:05

I was never told. My mum still maintains it to this day. Why do you need to say it? Let them believe if they want to. They'll figure it out eventually.

TescoCustomerService · 15/10/2022 11:25

We've never bothered with Santa in our house. I always remember my mum telling me when I was about 5, I came home from school and called her a liar because I'd found out Santa wasn't real.

sendwineandastraw · 15/10/2022 11:44

This myth goes round every year but I’ve never heard of one child been bullied in high school because they still believe in Santa and I have a lot of experience in tween/teens…

Children catch on very quickly that how they act, speak and express theirselves at home changes in a school environment.

A home to a child is their safe space, where they can still be a silly, fun, magical, upset, crazy, frustrated, all the feelings they learn to guard in front of peers at secondary…

Im not sure why you would take that away from them.

And yes I’m still a believer!!

balalake · 15/10/2022 11:59

I think you do need to have the conversation, to avoid bullying at the very least. Perhaps now not in mid-December would be better.

Mommabear20 · 15/10/2022 12:12

Why does it matter if he believes in Santa? Leave him be!

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