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Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed that school photographer made my ds take his glasses off?

26 replies

Irisbouquet · 15/10/2022 10:03

We got the proof yesterday and I was surprised to see he wasn't wearing his glasses. He wears them all day every day and has since he was 3, he's now 12. This picture isn't of the boy we 'know'.

He's become self conscious about wearing them and we've worked really hard to make him feel good and accepting they are part of him and not a negative thing.

The photographer told him to take them off as the picture would be better without 😡.

AIBU and over protective to be annoyed about this?

He hates taking them off in front of people as his eye turns in and had to do it in front of everyone. Unfortunately he didn't have the confidence to say no.

OP posts:
TitaniasAss · 15/10/2022 10:05

I'd be really pissed off about that, both for the reason that he wears them all the time and that it's made him more self conscious. Someone will no doubt say something about 'glare' from lenses in glasses but it's bullshit. Any decent photographer can take a picture of someone wearing glasses.

Karwomannghia · 15/10/2022 10:05

That’s not ok. It might have been reflecting the light because they have a huge spotlight but even so that’s awful.

Original poster
Irisbouquet · 15/10/2022 10:08

He's never been asked to take them off before, so I get the glare thing but they must be able to reposition the lights.

OP posts:
Curta · 15/10/2022 10:08

You say he's become self conscious about wearing them. That's why he took them off. He doesn't want a photo of him wearing them.

Allschoolsareartschools · 15/10/2022 10:10

Absolutely not ok. I get so fed up with school photographers deciding what looks 'better' without considering the feelings or personalities of the children involved. There's absolutely no way I'd be buying the picture & I'd tell school & the company why as well.

Martinisarebetterdirty · 15/10/2022 10:10

That’s awful, and I would complain. Tween and teen confidence is so fragile. My brother wears glasses, and was so self conscious in his teens because of it. Your poor son and what a dick photographer.
if it helps, my brother and DP rarely wear contacts now they are much older and are happy to be glasses wearing, it’s just shit in your teens.

Original poster
Irisbouquet · 15/10/2022 10:10

@Curta I wondered that too but he is more self conscious of his eye turning in so pretty sure he wouldn't take them off by choice.

OP posts:
TitaniasAss · 15/10/2022 10:12

Curta · 15/10/2022 10:08

You say he's become self conscious about wearing them. That's why he took them off. He doesn't want a photo of him wearing them.

There you go OP, Curta has the answer and clearly knows your DS better than you do. 🙄

Sirzy · 15/10/2022 10:14

Curta · 15/10/2022 10:08

You say he's become self conscious about wearing them. That's why he took them off. He doesn't want a photo of him wearing them.

Or more likely being told he looks better without them makes him more self conscious.

Soubriquet · 15/10/2022 10:15

I’m sure I’ve read this before? Haven’t I?

But no Op YANBU. Glasses are part of them. My dd wears glasses.

Sirzy · 15/10/2022 10:16

I would feed back to the school so they are aware and can contact the company.

the only photos me and DS will take glasses of for is passport photos. Even then it causes chaos as DS always gets sent back because his eyes aren’t looking forward - without his glasses on his eyes can’t both look forward!

LadyLothbrook · 15/10/2022 10:22

Yeah I'd be fuming. DD 11 opts out of school photo day now because this exact thing happened to her in year 2. It really damaged her confidence.

Londonnight · 15/10/2022 10:25

I would be really annoyed too! My elder son starting wearing glasses when he was 3, very much part of him. Youngest was 7 when he started wearing glasses. There is absolutely no need for them to remove glasses for a photo.

MrsMoastyToasty · 15/10/2022 10:26

You wouldn't ask someone with a prosthetic limb to remove it for a photo. Spectacles shouldn't be any different. Complain to the school and to the photographer's employer.

inheritanceshiteagain · 15/10/2022 10:37

Just don't buy them. It's not the end of the world it's just a photo. You have loads. I agree, he shouldn't have been asked to remove his glasses. Glare isn't an issue, we have a glasses on photo.

RiftGibbon · 15/10/2022 10:47

Regardless of whether OP buys the photos or not, feedback should be given to the school and to the photographer. Would they ask a child who uses a wheelchair to sit in a 'normal chair' because it supposedly looks better?

Original poster
Irisbouquet · 15/10/2022 12:28

Thanks I will contact the school about it, glad it's not just me being precious.

OP posts:
Original poster
Irisbouquet · 15/10/2022 12:32

Oops sorry just realised this went in chat instead of AIBU!

OP posts:
MrsGhastlyCrumb · 15/10/2022 12:45

Former portrait photographer here: these people are firing through the kids like a production line. Glasses may be tricky to adjust for depending on their set up: much quicker to just ask them to take them off. Pretty sure that they're trying to save faffing about rather than making an aesthetic decision. Of course it would be better to keep the glasses on, though.

Showmethebagels · 15/10/2022 12:53

Maybe he has stopped wearing them in school and it wasn’t the photographer who told them to take them off? I did this in primary school

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 15/10/2022 13:03

Curta · 15/10/2022 10:08

You say he's become self conscious about wearing them. That's why he took them off. He doesn't want a photo of him wearing them.

Agree.

thelobsterquadrille · 15/10/2022 13:12

Are you sure he's not just blaming the photographer because he doesn't want to get in trouble for not wearing his glasses?

TigerRag · 15/10/2022 13:12

Soubriquet · 15/10/2022 10:15

I’m sure I’ve read this before? Haven’t I?

But no Op YANBU. Glasses are part of them. My dd wears glasses.

I thought I did too. But I seem to remember the child was pre school / reception age.

LT2 · 15/10/2022 13:22

Before I read your whole post I was thinking that would be terrible if he has Strabismus (eye turn) like myself.. then read that he has. YANBU, It should be your son's choice if he wears them or not.

Original poster
Irisbouquet · 15/10/2022 13:45

Thanks everyone, he does definitely usually wear them due to the noticeable eye turn, he's had ribbing about it in the past so hates even taking them off for swimming now.

OP posts: