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Original poster

Posting got traffic - all help appreciated

10 replies

Justus77 · 14/10/2022 20:38

I have posted in alcohol but not a great response but thank you to the person who did respond …

Can someone help… my ex husband que an alcoholic. Long story short he is allowed to see the children as long as the markers in blood are consistent with abstinence - no signs of chronic abuse. I know he has been drinking heavily and is now taunting me as he apparently had a blood transfusion (4pints) so he thinks his test will be clear. Is that right?

OP posts:
Fuuuuuckit · 14/10/2022 20:40

How on earth has he had 4 pints of blood? Unless he's been INCREDIBLY ill and SEVERELY injured in the UK you can't just rock up and have a 4 unit blood transfusion...

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 14/10/2022 21:10

He's winding you up. If he's had a blood transfusion recently, he's not likely to be well enough to have children round.

vodkaredbullgirl · 14/10/2022 21:12

🤔 he's winding you up

Original poster
Justus77 · 14/10/2022 22:20

I don’t believe a word he says but I do know he had bloods as he very kindly sent the children pictures of him with an IV in his arm with red liquid flowing through it in hospital.

I spoke to his cousin who told me - and again - I don’t believe anything that comes from his family - that his depression was so bad from not seeing the kids he refused to eat (but I’m pretty sure the drinking was ok !) that he was I’ll and dizzy, he went to have a blood test and got called at 4 on the morning saying that his levels that should be 120 were 44 and he needed to go to hospital urgently as they suspected an internal bleed.

ive googled left right and centre and can’t seem to find anything that explains anything. I don’t even know what the levels mean or what the outcome of his stay other than his staggering transfusion was all about.

OP posts:
Elleherd · 15/10/2022 07:50

Assuming all this is UK. He may well have been given some blood but all this is a load of tosh in terms of what he's going on about, longer term.
I'm currently very ill in hospital with all sorts going on, including internal bleeding.
Your blood pressure drops badly when you are bleeding internally, whether that's from slow blood loss or sudden trauma. One of the ways that can get dealt with is by putting more blood in you. He thinks/is trying to say, that because he's got some new fresh blood added to his system, it's going to hide the fact that his 'older' blood was full of alcohol, so he will now be seen to have not been drinking when he later comes to take that test.
Someone who knows more about how livers and things process stuff might be able to tell you if there's any mileage in it, but if I were you I'd be focusing on documenting everything, more based on what kind of 'parent' sends their kids that sort of attention seeking de-stabilizing bollocks.
Not medically trained but spend a lot of time in hospital and four pints would be far more consistent with either a stabbing or a major RTA than internal hemorrhage.

Original poster
Justus77 · 15/10/2022 20:41

I’m just so exhausted with it all.

I document everything. But it makes you question what the point is when you’re choice is to feed kids or take him to court to enforce an order. The system is just so unfair.

I spent nearly all night trying to work out what the 120 reading was - what a much lower level meant but the medical jargon is overwhelmingly confusing with gl and ml and something else. Just wish I could pack up the car grab the kids and run like a bat out of hell.

OP posts:
Elleherd · 16/10/2022 06:43

So somewhere down the line there's been a whole load of stuff gone on I assume, that means he has to prove himself clean, in order to step up to his responsibilities, access, relationship with kids. Is there any sort of charity/organization etc that might help support you so you're not dealing direct with him and his family fuckwitery? Sympathies on just wanting to relocate your world.

Original poster
Justus77 · 16/10/2022 08:58

A lot has gone on. He has to be sober to see kids and stay away from me ( he is physically abusive)

we have been in and out of court he joins support groups makes a few friends and actually seems to come out the other end knowing how to be sneakier in his undertakings than he went in with! Whilst we were in court proceedings he was producing hair test results which were negative but the bloods have been all over the place.

the organisations/ the system that should be trying to help me protect my children all end up with the same end result - take him back to court - where he will arrive with one of the best law teams and pull every stop to not take blame. I just can’t believe that no one in an official capacity will do anything. Social services have done more harm than good!

OP posts:
FanniesFlaps · 16/10/2022 09:06

Justus77 · 15/10/2022 20:41

I’m just so exhausted with it all.

I document everything. But it makes you question what the point is when you’re choice is to feed kids or take him to court to enforce an order. The system is just so unfair.

I spent nearly all night trying to work out what the 120 reading was - what a much lower level meant but the medical jargon is overwhelmingly confusing with gl and ml and something else. Just wish I could pack up the car grab the kids and run like a bat out of hell.

The reading is to do with how many red blood cells -haemoglobin- he has. As a male his reading should be. A healthy count for a male should be between 130-180g/L. For a female its around 120-160g/L.
If his levels really fell to 44 and he needed 4 units of blood, as he is an alcoholic I’d say he is extremely poorly.

Just stick to the guidelines for him being able to see the children.

Original poster
Justus77 · 16/10/2022 14:14

Thank you so much. That’s so much clearer. I have just emailed him:

”Given, by your admission, you are incredibly poorly it would be better if the children have contact with you when someone else is around to help with them. Let me know when/ if your mum will be coming over half term and I will liaise with her about arrangements. FaceTime is available, maybe you could make use of that to keep in touch.”

OP posts:
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